Courtesy of ORFFA panel writers Bandit and grav



[span style='color: black; background-color: #fcfcfc;]Now I'll be clear from the outset, those of you that have come here with the expectation of unparalleled statistical analysis and unbiased rhetoric, then turn away now, cos you've got the wrong Sinatra. This overview will be much akin to Nancy, a bit of glitz, the occasional bang bang but mainly just me saying something stupid as waffle and filler.



ORFFA finals week 2




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<p style='color: #000000; margin-bottom: 0px; background: transparent;]Well the second round of ORFFA finals has come and gone, let's review the results and have a look ahead to the finals.
<p style='color: #000000; margin-bottom: 0px; background: transparent;]Foul Bay Chickens 1198 defeated by Birdsville Battlers 1231 Foul Bay : Dangerfield 128 Dahlhaus 114 Pavlich 118 Birdsville: Treloar 136 McEvoy 107 Mayne 105 Sheridan 100
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<p style='color: #000000; margin-bottom: 0px; background: transparent;]Not many people know Birdsville is the place where the tooth brush was invented... as if it was invented anywhere else it would have been called a teeth brush.
<p style='color: #000000; margin-bottom: 0px; background: transparent;]The match was a close encounter with both teams recording well below average scores, but the Chooks can now officially start their re-build as the team with the putrid teeth put them to the sword in a close encounter (or won't, as ChiefBet has threatened to rebuild in the past two years and hasn't).
<p style='color: #000000; margin-bottom: 0px; background: transparent;]Foul Bay had a number of poor performers, with the halitosis of the Battlers impacting Cunnington (51), Ziebell (52) and Wright (52). Hawkins (24) put in a real stinker, and there are hot rumours he will be on the trade table. Treloar was the standout for the Battlers.
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<p style='color: #000000; margin-bottom: 0px; background: transparent;]Darraweit Guim Dirigibles 1245 vs Larrikin Lagoon Lefties 1292 Darraweit Guim: Betts 117 Maric 115 Edwards 111 Rance 109 Westhoff 104 Larrikin Lagoon: Lynch 130 Lewis 110 Baguley 108 Goldstein 102
<p style='color: #000000; margin-bottom: 0px; background: transparent;]The Blimps fell to the resurgent Lefties in another close battle. The team from the Guim (I'm a poet and I didn't even know it), had scores at both ends of the spectrum, with 5 players tonning up, and 5 below 70 but not much in between.
<p style='color: #000000; margin-bottom: 0px; background: transparent;]The Lefties continue their post mid season run, and must be a chance next week. With Priddis, Mitchell and Goddard all keeping some fuel in the tank for the granny (Grand Final that is, not Esme who runs the tuck shop).
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<p style='color: #000000; margin-bottom: 0px; background: transparent;]The Zac Dawson Cup
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<p style='color: #000000; margin-bottom: 0px; background: transparent;]In the who gives a stuff (Zac Dawson) cup, Charlie's Opening accounted for Gariwerd when the setup for the dance party didn't arrive, leaving Timmy Trumpet having to play sans backing tracks. In the other match Cradle Mountain took care of the Whitsunday's to set up a final game for the year against the Spelunkers. Given this weeks match is against two Tasmanian teams, all spectators have been requested to not to attend the match as it is well known that victory and alcohol consumption results in random sexual encounters, and they would prefer that these are well controlled within the respective families own brood stock.

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<p style='color: #000000; margin-bottom: 0px; background: transparent;]The Big Dance
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<p style='color: #000000; margin-bottom: 0px; background: transparent;]<strong style='color: #000000;]Birdsville Battlers vs Larrikin Lagoon Lefties[/b]

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[span style='color: black; background-color: #fcfcfc;]In very much Bradbury-esque fashion, seventh placed Birdsville squares off against eighth placed Larrikin Lagoon for the 2015 ORFFA premiership. Now this is not to say that both of these team don't deserve their place here, far from it. Birdsville started the season in red-hot form and surprised many with their scoring potential early in the season. Injury and form impacts have stymied the Battlers in the latter half of the year but their depth has seen them hold their own to finish the season well. In contrast, the Lefties have haphazardly steered their rollercoaster through to the byes with enough skill to be annoying but generally under-whelming. Post-bye has been a different sideshow, with Joey coming into the mix and the likes of Lynch and Goldy moving into elite numbers, the Lefties scattered all-comers and managed to fall into eighth place.

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[span style='color: black; background-color: #fcfcfc;]In a quest to find a centrally-located neutral ground, the ORFFA Grand Final organising committee have arrived at a perfect solution. A call was placed to former franchisee Big Lance to see if he was willing to host the Big Dance (ooh yeah, it took me minutes to come up with that one), at the opulent Coomealla Sporting Complex. Despite still harbouring repressed feelings of animosity and regret, BL agreed to bury the hatchet and welcome ORFFA footy back to Western NSW. Concerns of a lingering home-ground advantage to Lefties (nee Nungas) have been quickly squashed. Jordan Lewis the only surviving (playing) member of the original Nungas has openly confessed to spending most of his inaugural season at the Wentworth Leagues Club and hence can't remember shit about what that ground played like&amp;rdquo;.

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[span style='text-decoration: underline; color: black; background-color: #fcfcfc;]The Teams

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[span style='color: black; background-color: #fcfcfc;]Birdsville

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[span style='color: black; background-color: #fcfcfc;]With Ross-itis again running rampant through the Association, Chris Maybe&amp;rdquo; Mayne has succumbed and will miss his chance to spearhead the Battlers forward line. With Cloke still sidelined with an inaccuracy-induced psychosis, Zac Clarke and Josh Green lock themselves in to a pretty formidable Battler outfit. Birdsville also boast a healthy emergency list courtesy of a contingent of Lions-affiliate players in Dawson, Bewick and Merrett.

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[span style='color: black; background-color: #fcfcfc;]Birdsville likely starting 15

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[span style='color: black; background-color: #fcfcfc;]Def - Houli, Enright, T McDonald, L McDonald

[span style='color: black; background-color: #fcfcfc;]Mid - Treloar, Ebert, Rischitelli, J Lonergan

[span style='color: black; background-color: #fcfcfc;]Ruck - McEvoy

[span style='color: black; background-color: #fcfcfc;]Fwd - Howlett, Green, L Jetta, Taylor

[span style='color: black; background-color: #fcfcfc;]I/C - Clarke, Sheridan

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[span style='color: black; background-color: #fcfcfc;]Larrikin Lagoon

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[span style='color: black; background-color: #fcfcfc;]Viruses are pricks of things, and this strain of Scott-itosos has hit the Lefties hard. Goldy and Firrito can barely walk, due to the crippling symptoms of this insidious scourge. To add injury to insult, the Lefties depth has reached breaking point, with Schofield unable to pass a fitness test, Gus getting the chop and Ceglar still struggling with back pain due to being a regular sparring partner for Sam Mitchell's knees. Mitchell returns to the side, but this will afford little comfort with two OOP's (Mzungu and Lloyd) needing to be fielded.

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[span style='color: black; background-color: #fcfcfc;]Larrikin Lagoon likely starting 15

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[span style='color: black; background-color: #fcfcfc;]Def - Baguley, Gibson, Duryea, J Lloyd (oop)

[span style='color: black; background-color: #fcfcfc;]Mid - Lewis, Mitchell, Priddis, Montagna

[span style='color: black; background-color: #fcfcfc;]Ruck - Mzungu (oop)

[span style='color: black; background-color: #fcfcfc;]Fwd - TT Lynch, Goddard, J Hill, Crameri

[span style='color: black; background-color: #fcfcfc;]I/C - Suban, Langford

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[span style='color: black; background-color: #fcfcfc;]ORFFA fans shouldn't be disheartened by this selection carnage as this is still shaping up to be a cracking game with the half-time entertainment more scintillating than that time Motorhead's Lemmy Kilminster blessed us with his rendition of ONJ's Let's Get Physical&amp;rdquo; at ORFFA GF #1. The main break will see a lap of honour to recognise some of our esteemed coaches and their outstanding achievements and selfless contributions to ORFFA and the greater human race. We will pay tribute to retiring Commish TiB for his expert helmsmanship (yep, that's now a word) of this mighty Association. We will also pay homage to departing coach Prap for his wit, charisma and thought-provoking contributions over the journey. Finally, through choked back tears, we will salute the great sNoZ for his heroic highway deeds and growing collection of timber-ware. This cavalcade will round up with a rollicking performance from Van The Man&amp;rdquo; Morrison as he pumps out some ORFFA-tailored tributes including: Jackie Wilson said&amp;hellip;my bro is pretty neat (sNoZ); Maybe&amp;rdquo; please don't go (JC); and Real real gone (Prap).

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[span style='color: black; background-color: #fcfcfc;]Tickets are selling fast, you don't want to miss this one Slappers!