(with special guest performance by Graeme)


Gundagai Grasshoppers 1127 def by Foul Bay Chickens 1364

With snoz’s round 1 line up light on for Pies players and sporting an unhealthy smear of Blues, one might expect a foul aroma exuding from the tucker box. However a (relatively) respectable 1127 was enough to keep the heat on the Chooks for most of the game. Sporting an injury list longer than Schindler’s, the Hoppers 2nd and 3rd tier kids were left to lead the show. Solid efforts from Martin, Stringer, Cripps and Neale were well supported by debutants in Mills and Weitering. A standout performance from Danger and his feathered midfield cohort flattered a patchy effort elsewhere. Coach CR will be grateful that Pav’s beheading skills are still a little rusty.


Mount Beauty Uglies 1138 def by Wagga Wagga Wombats 1344

With “match of the round” being spruiked from the highest peaks to the deepest burrows, all eyes were on this heavyweight match-up. Unfortunately, the Uglies were hit with a smattering of late outs with Bennell, KK and Reid all struggling due to missing the pre-season Arizona trip. Most telling was the low number of centuries among the Mt Beauty camp, one is pretty low right? On the flip-side, the visitors racked up 5 tons and a few 90’s for good measure to ice this one early. Nice showings from Gibbs, Shiel, Prestia and Bob Murphy were backed up by new-comers Oliver and Picken off the bench. The woes continue for the Uglies with Sidey off for a two week hair-sampling holiday.


Nunawading Nuffers 1161 def by Gariwerd Cockatoos 1325

With a number of team mates still partying hard from the night before, the Nuffers stumbled onto the field with their interchange nowhere to be seen. Despite the mismatch, the Cockies were unable to take the ascendancy early with Miller and Walker stifled by a no-nonsense Nunawading backline lead by Simpson and Wood. Nic Nat and Hickey battled out an epic ruck war around the ground but in the end the reduced rotations for the home side saw them fall flatter than my souring attempt at humour.


Waikikamoocow Incorrigibles 1137 def Lovely Banks Lilacs 1124

Cows v Lilacs was a very close game with Jen's Cats performing exceptionally well in the Sunday showdown. Caddy (116), Duncan (108) and Lang (77) put the cats among the pigeons; Hartung (78) almost iced it. Rosa's (105) suggested he has settled nicely on the GC. New recruit Hall (129) and Titch (127) and Hannebery (100) were the only established Cows to earn their evening feed.


Whitsunday Warriors 1303 def Marble Bar Misfits 1050

Well looky here at what TiB has been hiding under his pillow…A Bloody Football Team!

In a display that would put many a 60’s Batman show to shame, the Warriors went KAPOW! BIFF! BAM! to send the Misfits haphazardly flying through some strategically placed cardboard boxes. Despite not accumulating one solitary midfield ton, the Warriors dealt out cameos like they were $10.50 MCG hotdogs, both spellbindingly appealing and completely untouchable. JJK became everyone’s new best friend with a monster 180 while Johanissen and Lambert mopped up every errant Misfit disposal. Now this is not to say that the visitors didn’t have their share of good players…hang on, scrap that…using plurals would be inaccurate.
Ward did Ok.


Darraweit Guim Dirigibles 1158 def by Venus Bay Vultures 1265

The stars did not align for Coach Chris this weekend. Trust me, I had my telescope out and all I saw was a big black hole where the Maric constellation shoulda been. To add insult to injury, Chris had to call off the cavalcade of pre-game horses with John Longmire hidden among the string, attempting to pilfer team strategy. Walk ups in Coniglio, Lyons, Hill and Ceglar were all called upon last minute to fill the Braithwaite Void (Dimma is looking to patent this term to describe the Tiges injury list) leaving the team deflated (OK, I promise that’s the only one for the year). All jokes aside, this was still a pretty tight contest with Parker’s mid field heroics puttying up the cracks opened up by Greene and Crisp. Some worrying times at the Bay with Cloke bizarrely trying to re-invent himself as a half-baked ruckman. Defence was the winner on the day which left most supporters crying into their Ross Lyon souvenir hankies.


Wineglass Bay Packers 950 def by Larrikin Lagoon Lefties 1443

In the tradition of 16th Century Parisian civil war and the Massacre of Mérindol, welcome to the French Park Faceoff!
The home lands of Freycinet National Park and Ravine des Casoars Wilderness pitted their heartiest troops in a bloodied frenzy amid a picturesque Wineglass Bay backdrop. The rebuilding Packers showed some true grit but many of their stars barely glimmered on the big stage. The day turned sour when Faz attempted his rendition of Tony Grieg’s keys and deduced that: skull + pitch = hard. On the other side of the ledger, the Lefties cranked into 6th gear early and motored home with stellar performances from Priddis, Mitchell, Goldy and Lloyd. Some handy showings in the 2’s for Hewett and Wilson will be a welcome relief for a bruised Packers outfit.


Charlies Opening Spelunkers 1253 def Iron Knob Codpieces 1226

With the early morning tones of “I Got You Babe” ringing in his ears, Coach Jimbo was heard screaming “F$%KING NOT AGAIN!!” The Codpiece’s midfield injury woes helped even up this contest to the point where Bandit (arguably) has something to smile about. Phil Davis played the game of his life whilst the ruck duo of Blitz and Nicholls, tortured mini-Minson to despair. Ablett and Gray toiled admirably but became free-wheeling bunnies in an engine room full of slag. Rumours abound that Chiefbet has suspended all wagers on an Iron Knob glory run. The Codpiece depth and patience will be tested in the coming weeks.


Birdsville Battlers 1321 def Cradle Mountain Devils 1144

The Battlers from Birdsville came out swinging in round one and despite a lacklustre fwd/ruck output, managed a comprehensive knockout on their home turf. Scarily good across all other lines and some impressive depth knocking on the door, last year’s bridesmaids have already sold their party dress with their sights on a paler version. Six tons and three 90+ efforts concealed the Freo-laced misfire up forward. For the Devils, Zaha, Roughead and BenKen were shining lights akin to an underwhelming $15.95 Target Christmas Tree.


For the full, unfiltered match day experience visit:

http://tooserious.net/forum/tsLeagueMatchday.php?leagueId=2&round=1#YXFewDPFioL7Fpr6.97