ORFFA round 15 (AFL round 18) review

Discussion in 'ORFFA' started by graeme, Jul 19, 2021.

By graeme on Jul 19, 2021 at 8:31 AM
  1. graeme

    graeme Well-Known Member

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    We ORFFANs enjoy a good old-fashioned love in with Clint. So, I though, why, in the depths of winter, why not binge out on Clint Eastwood movies? A feeble attempt to match games to movies our hero either starred in or directed. Some match-ups featured long-standing rivalries, the palimpsests on which ORFFA’s history is written, and some just fitted in with the theme. Then late Sunday rolled around and the Association went into conniptions as Swans and Giants players were withdrawn from named teams because of potential covid worries. As some players went into lockdown (please excuse the editorial exaggeration for impact) our teams were already locked in. But we carried on as the full round of games was played. Luckily, no real hard luck stories emerged.


    Gariwerd Cockatoos (1230) v Larrikin Lagoon Lefties (1022)

    Rawhide (1959-1965) – long running TV series set in the west pitting good against bad. It was when we first observed Clints habit of speaking through his teeth. The oldest ORFFA squad against the team perpetually looking to return to the glory days – back before some of us were born? I hear you say. Back then Clint played a cowboy named Rowdy Yates. Sadly, no player in this match had either name. However, there were some supporting roles of note. For the home side Touk Miller (120) naturally starred. Predictably there were centuries from Aaron Hall (110) and Cam Guthrie (108) and geriatrics Shannon Hurn (114) and Josh P Kennedy (109). If I sound bored, it also happened last week against my mob. The Lefties were anodyne. When you see the scores of the players who were not middle of the road, daytime TV standard you will understand - Tarryn Thomas (108), James Worpel (100), Jy Simpkin (99), Mitchell Georgiades (95).

    Move 'em on, head 'em up
    Head 'em up, move 'em on
    Move 'em on, head 'em up
    Rawhide


    Charlies Opening Spelunkers (1241) v Foul Bay Chickens (1267)

    The Man with No Name* series (mid 1960s) – the spaghetti westerns. Sergio Leone would have taken inspiration from the number of times the chooks have started a rebuild only to find they were still contenders. In the first scene the chooks began with a bang through Paddy Dangerfield (134) and Tomahawk Hawkins (128) from which the tunnellers could not recover after Sean Darcy (156) limped off at three quarter time. And that’s what the cavemen were for the rest of the fixture - limp. Bar maybe Tom Phillips (102). A decent score and an upset was more than on. Close but no cigar. Better depth needed. Cut to the later scenes and for the chooks Todd Goldstein (113) and the West Coast contingent sealed the deal professionally. A warning to other finals aspirants?


    *The Man with No Name was actually called Joe and cited as such in the credits. The series was a direct steal from the 1961 Akira Kurosawa classic Yojimbo. Perhaps the cod’s home game might have been allocated this classic series?


    Nareewillock Nuffers (939) v Venus Bay Vultures (1267)

    Dirty Harry Series (1970s-1980s). Chris is the latest person to hear every week the allegorical question: "Do I feel lucky?" Well, do ya, punk?” And despite some fine performances from Brad Hill (96) and Alex Keath (89) – and note we are citing sub-100 scores - the answer was a categorical “no” for the lacuna of ORFFA. The Vultures circled over the corpse, and fortunately got sufficient solidity from Luke Parker (128), Buddy (105), Andrew Gaff (104) and Elliot Yeo (100) to not drop the magnum. This was despite the extremely late isolation of Toby Greene. Squads win premierships; so having Kysaiah Kropinyeri-Pickett (73) in reserve suggests Fizzy has some of the resources required.



    Wineglass Bay Packers (1150) v Birdsville Battlers (994)

    Play Misty for Me (1971) - psychological thriller marked Clint debut as a director. It featured a late-night DJ being stalked by an obsessed female fan. Misty (JC) rang the radio station late at night with the modern equivalent of “my dog ate my homework” when he claimed “his team changes didn’t save” a ruse which DJTracey was not moved by. (Packers – get it? Oh, sorry, I forgot removalists from NSW are not popular in Vic). Instead DJTracey picked off some tasty scores – George Hewett (134), Ben Keays (110), Samuel Collins (101), Luke Dunstan (90), Liam Baker (86) and a ruckman afield, - thus averting a late-night meeting with a disguised JC. Meanwhile the latter seemed to be piecing together a better than battling score with Cannon McKenzie (127) looking for a new contract, Butcher Smith (104), Luke McDonald (102) and Lachie Hunter (97) all more than serviceable. But, speaking of tasty, some donuts were left on the ground and Gryan is not a ruck. In the final scene Misty was dog tucker.


    Marble Bar Misfits (1174) v Cradle Mountain Devils (1355)

    The Outlaw Josey Wales (1976) – revenge motive. In what was billed as an old fashioned knock em down, slug it out WWF Superstar fixture the Encyclopedia was looking for revenge from Andre (the giant). Big score from Andre’s men were for once a bit thin on the ground; Callum Ward (101), Jake (the seagull) Lloyd (100), NicNat (100) were serviceable but the performance was all a bit flat. Maybe the reliance on players from one club is not a long term winning strategy? The visitors however put on a dazzling show of strength and their rivals for the premiership would have note checked Jack Lever (117), Daniel Rich (107), Jack Steele (145), Rowan Marshall (127), Chris Mayne (122) – how did you miss this oldie ant? – and Dyson Heppell (115). However, among the stars but there were some flat spots in the undercard that might be worrying come finals time.


    Whitsunday Warriors (1111) v Wagga Wagga Wombats (1061)

    Any Which Way but Loose (1978) – bare knuckle fighter and pet orangutan pursue love prospect who turns out to be a bitch. Clint takes a dive to maintain the rep of a retiring champion. While there were no retiring champions on show, there was tanking taken to a whole new level with Lenny seemingly eyeing the 8 almost as much as he looks covetously at draft picks. Tibby, the loosest cat in the Association, got stuck into the rebuild of the Worriers immediately after the Inaugural draft. For the hosts, hometown hero Wines (154), Jake Kelly (117), John Noble (114), Harris Andrews (111) and loose cats Narkle (104) and Smith (99) were scene steelers. For the wombats? I am tempted to say a large bowl of steaming cubits with the honourable exceptions of Jamie Cripps (150) and LDU (99). But that would ignore a donut in the midst. Had Tom Barrass been fit the match would have been much closer despite the mess.


    Iron Knob Codpieces (1038) v Nowhere Else Wanderers (1022)

    Unforgiven (1992) – convoluted but about choices between income streams – a failing farm versus a bounty on a badman’s head. A bit like the choices Jimbo has had to make for the one-time title contending cods. Dave on the other hand has kept his head down and built a side which is slowly making in-roads. Although we could be forgiven for observing it has often been from somewhere so remote that it might be out of Telstra coverage albeit the monolith claims Nowhere is beyond coverage (hahaha).


    For the knobs some old bloke from Richmond whose name I refuse to type (129) relived past glories while Jackson Macrae (124) did what he does best as did Jordan de Goey (114), Maibor Choi(113) and Isaac Quaynor (104). This rebuild is pretty easy huh jimbo? As for the wanderers there was an absence of premium performances. Jarryd Lyons (104) was the sole exception with the returning Stephen Coniglio (92) and mid-season recruit Paul Seedsman (81) the next best. I hope it does not offend anyone’s sense of political correctness to say the side seemed to go walkabout. Disappointing score which unfortunately is what happens occasionally when building a side.



    Waikickamoocow Incorrigibles (1403) v Lovely Bay Lilacs (1233)

    The Bridges of Madison County (1995) – finding some new direction after becoming aware of a previously unknown set of facts. For the cows I guess that could be subtitled Close (103) encounters of the 3rd kind, or the return of the Dunki (87), or Titch (171) strikes back, but those are from a different genre. For Jen’s flowers the Don’s pair of Darcy Parish (138) and Peter Wright (139) were brilliant and ably supported by Karl Amon (111), Shai Bolton (107) and Tom Stewart (102) who laid their hearts on the line in true tragi-romance fashion. But for some of the supporting cast it was a bridge too far. Special mention to Isaac Heeney (86) who might just have produced the comeback performance of the year after going missing in the first half.


    Gundagai Grasshoppers (1187) v Mount Beauty Uglies (1300)

    American Sniper (2014) – young farm kid becomes hero (to some) but his personal and home life suffer. Hopper country ain’t prime grazing country so the players head to the bright lights of Gundagai and dream of (military?) careers. Others chose the afl as a way out and benefit accordingly from their prowess. Clayton Oliver (139), Hugh McLuggage (121), Lachie Neale (107), and Callum Mills (late out, covid isolation, no cover) for the home team for example. Something to do before the finals sNoZ. And Bama has players who graced our favourite stage in Sam Walsh (193), Christian Petracca (127), Jack Graham (120) and Jack Viney (101) are all perfect examples of the acclaim that prominence in your chosen pursuit can achieve. But some from the farm or hills are just natural shooters and chose sniping school. You know who you are. On a brighter note to finish, Heavy will be happy.
     
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Comments

Discussion in 'ORFFA' started by graeme, Jul 19, 2021.

    1. Bandit
      Bandit
      Great review, however this reader is a bit dissappointed to not see Pale Rider or the Good, The Bad and The Ugly in there, although the latter was recently covered off in another review so I assume it was left out to avoid plagiarism claims.

      Devastated to not have nicked one from the Chooks, I don't think I have ever managed to get a win against @ChiefRussell 's mob
    2. That KI Guy
      That KI Guy
      Well played @graeme
      That’s some next level reviewing!
      Lefties content just to get back to the four figure club.
      • Like Like x 3
    3. ChiefRussell
      ChiefRussell
      Had my squad depth tested this week and didn’t think about it until after the first game had started which robbed me of Dahlhaus (who pulled his finger out for the first time ever).
      Thought I was cooked and probably would have been if Bont didn’t set a clanger record. Very stiff @Bandit
      • Like Like x 1
    4. Len
      Len
      Excellent read @graeme The Misfits are cooked, 68 our lowest full squad average in 4 years
      • Like Like x 1
    5. JC
      JC
      Happy to swap, @Len. The Battlers have 17 players down on last year's average. :spew:

      Thanks for the write up, @graeme . Sadly the team changes were not a ruse but, thankfully, it would not have altered the result - @Tracey just would have beaten me by a bit less. Congrats Tracey - nice to see the Packers moving up the ladder!
      • Like Like x 2
    6. anthak
      anthak
      Very well written G! Thanks for your efforts.

      A few very close games this round!
      • Like Like x 1
    7. snoz
      snoz
      Seriously good write up @graeme, thoroughly enjoyed it !! Now if you dumb Aussies could get vaccinated sooner rather than later I won’t have to wake up to a bunch of outs based on tier whatever covid shit ! If the bloody Yanks can do it (with ugh Trump/umm Biden) so can you !!!
      • Like Like x 2
    8. HeavyMen
      HeavyMen
      Tra-la-la-la-la :)
      Bursting into the magnificent Rawhide theme song as we type.
      Epic review Graeme with a beautiful ending
      • Like Like x 3
    9. TerryinBangkok
      TerryinBangkok
      Indeed, indeed.

      At the Tiki Bar we are doing reruns of Paint Your Wagon. Many of our squad were born under a wandering star.

      And I hope you were using a Firefox browser when you posted up the review.
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