Ahhh Fellowship round… where we raise a glass to our brethren and thank them for their wit, advice, banter and general mateship.

Just like J. R. R. Tolkein in The Fellowship Of The Ring, every year we embark on a quest. 18 coaches all trying to get to that big mountain off in the distance that is the ORFFA premiership.

I’m writing the review this week… all abuse, cajoling and editorial corrections are welcome.

Waikikamoocow Incorrigibles 1146 defeated Iron Knob Codpieces 1058

The Cows come from the land of the Long White Cloud, which served as the stunning backdrop for the movie adaptation of Tolkein’s classic. On the field, the Cows were average, in that they had 10 players score between 70 and 100. That proved to be the difference as Jim’s mob had a few drop into the 60’s, and a donut from Riewoldt didn’t help. The patrons at the Bulls Hit were happy with the win.

Tons
Cows: Crouch, Robinson
Cods: Scrimshaw, Greenwood, Darling

Shit:
Cows: Burton, Hibberd, Orazio
Cods: Quaynor, Nelson, Gibbons, Mihocek

Whitsunday Warriors 1224 defeated by Marble Bar Misfits 1372

The Warriors, when kitted up in their historic war uniform, have been likened to a horde of ugly orcs coming out from the gates of Mordor. The Misfits are a bit of a mishmash of all sorts, but predominantly orange, like Gimli the Dwarf… and smashed through the warriors like Gimli’s axe went through many an orc helm.

Tons
Warriors: Boak, Wines, McInerney, Dixon
Misfits: Daniel, Kelly, Hickey, Naitanui, Flynn

Shit
Warriors: Cameron
Misfits: Farrell

Charlies Opening Spelunkers 1165 defeated Wineglass Bay Packers 1001

The Spelunkers are true Cavemen like Gollum, and occasionally pop up and come into the light, revealing their pasty white complexions, and fascination for shiny objects. This time they stole a win from Wineglass Bay in another Apple Isle battle. The upper end of the Spelunkers got the job done, with big Lurch Darcy starting to reward the patience of the Commish. Packers improving, although I dare say not as quickly as the coach would have hoped.

Tons
Cavemen: Short, The Bont, Merrett, Darcy
Packers: Baker, McGrath

Shit
Cavemen:
Packers: Taylor, Riccardi

Foul Bay Chickens 1363 defeated Gundagai Grasshoppers 1125

The battle of the heavyweights was something that lived up to a lot of promise, just like the Battle of Isengard vs The Ents. However, it was a white wash, with Snoz’s guns being let down by the average rabble around them. Chooks bask in the blue light of victory.

Tons
Chooks: Cunnington, Goldstein, Cousins
Hoppers: Mills, Oliver, McLuggage, Billings, Grundy

Shit
Chooks:
Hoppers: Weitering, Himmelberg, O’Brien, Henry, Powell

Wagga Wagga Wombats 1235 defeated Nareewillock Nuffers 881

Lenny takes the chocolates against the Nuffers… wombats are similar to the Kine of Araw which were a type of wild ox that lived near the Sea of Rhûn. Don’t think they had square poo though.

Tons
Wombats: Ridley, Cumming, Curnow, Langdon, Swallow, Cripps
Nuffers: Redman, McDonald

Shit
Wombats: Crozier, Pickett
Nuffers: Long, Lazzaro, Jones

Nowhere Else Wanderers 1195 defeated by Gariwerd Cockatoos 1227

The Cockies nick a win even with two donuts. The Wanderers are aiming to be more like Aragorn, and less like a Ranger…. but this may take time before they realise their real potential.

Tons
Wanderers: Hind, McStay
Cockies: Laird, Birchall, Guthrie, Drew, Tuohy, Hall

Shit
Wanderers: Powell
Cockies:

Cradle Mountain Devils 1386 defeated Lovely Banks Lilacs 1191

No ruck made Jen’s task a little difficult. A bit like Rosie Cotton’s job trying to seduce Samwise Gamgee in the tavern. It’s hard to be the centre of attention when you don’t have a focal point. Devils doing what devils do…. Will push the guys at the top this year… watch this space. Losing Marshall hurts though.

Tons
Devils: Steele, Hopper, Nankervis, Zorko the magnificent, Redden
Lilacs: Duncan, Parish, Ross, Heeney

Shit
Devils: Marshall
Lilacs: Jonas, Wilkie

Birdsville Battlers 1129 defeated by Larrikin Lagoon Lefties 1286

Lefties screw up their tanking…. Like Pippin and Merry letting of Gandalf’s fireworks accidentally… it was enjoyed by everyone else, but not by the owner with the MSD around the corner. JC licking his wounds, but all is not lost with the likes of Rowbotham coming good. Oleg Markov’s moustache is a disgrace, but hey, so are 75% of the AFL haircuts.

Tons
Battlers: Doedee, Witherden, Rowbottom
Lefties: Hardwick, Markov, Cox, Simpkin, Logue

Shit
Battlers: Robertson, Moore, Battle, Berry
Lefties:Rankine

Mount Beauty Uglies 1383 defeated Venus Bay Vultures 1194

Forlong was the Lord of the lands of Lossarnach, and was famed for his enormous girth (hence the name 'Forlong the Fat'). Our own Heavymen was heard to be very excited at the Uglies victory, and his tremendous waistline jumping with joy was the apparent reason for many a drink being spilled in the bar. Fitzy unlucky at the moment.

Tons
Uglies: Salem, Maynard, Walsh, Petracca, Graham, Gawn, Martin, Pittonet
Vultures: Docherty, Crisp

Shit
Uglies: Balta
Vultures: Pickett