For those who take it way too seriously

Apologies for the brevity, but a short turnaround equals a short review. Here 's round 5 in a sentence or two:

Whitsunday Warriors 1109 def by Mount Beauty Uglies 1131
tough loss for TiB but he needed a few others to help Ollie out.
Uglies: After 3 straight wins, I wonder how many cans deep @HeavyMen is into the celebrations?

Waikikamoocow Incorrigibles 1075 def Charlies Opening Spelunkers 964
an ordinary effort by their usual standards but still got the job done.
Spelunkers: Operation ‘Sir Tanks-a-lot’ is alive and well.

Birdsville Battlers 1325 def Wineglass Bay Packers 1047
A couple of 150’s helped paper over the cracks.
Packers: Stephenson continues to show plenty and a playing ruck surely makes life easier.

Nareewillock Nuffers 1092 def by Venus Bay Vultures 1189
Only claiming half their top score hurt. Building, but it’ll take some time.
Vultures: A long way off last year so far, but a win gets them on the positive side of the ledger.

Nowhere Else Wanderers 1163 def Larrikin Lagoon Lefties 1041
Got everything from terrible (Aliir) to sublime (Walters), but most importantly - a win.
Lefties: Nice debut from Hately, but still crying out for a playing ruck.

Marble Bar Misfits 1343 def Gariwerd Cockatoos 1280
No Ward, no worries, as the defending champs just keep ticking along.
Cockatoos: Can count themselves unlucky to be 1-4 given they’re the sixth highest scoring team.

Wagga Wagga Wombats 1180 def by Gundagai Grasshoppers 1233
A touch unlucky as their best was better and they had the best four players on the park.
Hoppers: Still the only undefeated team as their superior depth got them home this week.

Iron Knob Codpieces 1229 def by Foul Bay Chickens 1386
I thought the green vest was back after Darling pumped out a 9.
Chooks: Eddie Betts, what a...
Please ‘o’ Please Mr Cripps, kick the god damn ball.

Hore sucker punched us two weeks in a row and JS in a crap Melb team firming up.

A couple of late changes, did you get caught napping?

How are your teams stats this week and the big question is? WHO ARE GOING TO TRADE In & Out?

2153pts is below par I’d expect!
Courtesy of the "pen" of the gentleman from Bangkok @TerryinBangkok

A horrible round for tipping and not a lot of joy in SC, but some sure things got up in the ORFFA with the Hoppers and the Misfits flying in the early rounds. Let’s get right into it.

Cows 1131 vs Warriors 1285

Probably the upset of the round (well it surprised me and we were so looking forward to a slab of silverside and a pinot after the game). Fyfe was off enjoying the pig shooting and a lonely ton from Ryan Burton not enough for Boak, Lobb (at last), Suckling and Andrews. Just a hiccup for the Waikiks and normal programming is expected to continue next week.

Uglies 1094 vs Battlers 1081

Well done Mt. Beauty and Birdsville must be regretting letting this close one slip. The Uglies were strong with tons to Brandon Ellis, Sides, Gawn and Walsh and, despite a horrible 23 from Butters and a worse 8 from Schache, were too good for the offerings from Witts and Acres.

The Opening 1076 vs Nuffers 926

Good performances from the Bont and Zac were matched by Cunningham and Ebert, but with 3 donuts, the Nuffers were not in the hunt. Hopefully they can get a few back next week. They need them.

Packers 1103 vs Wanderers 1167

Nice scores from both teams and a sign of things to come we hope. Charlie well served by Vintage Scully, Lynch and Mummy while Newman, Walters and Coniglio fought bravely for the Bay. The Wanderers now have two wins under the belt.

Vultures 1258 vs Misfits 1341

Tons all over the park with Simpson, Gaff, Yeo, Martin and Pittard all performing well for the Pippies, but even more from the Misfits with Mundy, Taranto, Kelly, Murphy, Lloyd and Whitfield. Some very astute bench choices from Fitzy wasn’t enough, but with a score like that he will be there abouts. No hangovers for Marble Bar.

Lefties 1010 vs Wombats 1201

A clear win to Wagga Wagga with Sicily, B. Smith, Shiel and Swallow all cracking the ton. A...
And that’s a rap!!!

- Score & Rank?
- Rnd 4 Cpt?
- How many players 100+?
- Who is in your trade rage crosshairs?

Some rookies looked tired.

2248 disappointing (82 pts diff on bench)
Grundy Cpt (via loop)
10 players 100+

For mine, Oliver and Dunkley only played slightly better than Meat Loaf at the GF!
Thursday, April 11, 7.20pm, SCG

B: Callum Mills, Dane Rampe, Tom McCartin
HB: Jake Lloyd, Aliir Aliir, Jackson Thurlow
C: Zak Jones, Luke Parker, Oliver Florent
HF: Harry Cunningham, Sam Reid, Isaac Heeney
F: Jordan Dawson, Lance Franklin, Kieren Jack
Foll: Callum Sinclair, Josh Kennedy, Tom Papley
I/C: Justin McInerney, Nick Blakey, Ben Ronke, George Hewett
Emerg: Robbie Fox, Ryan Clarke, Lewis Melican, James Rose

IN: Kieren Jack, Justin McInerney
OUT: Jarrod McVeigh, Will Hayward

B: Michael Hibberd, Oscar McDonald, Neville Jetta
HB: Billy Stretch, Sam Frost, Nathan Jones
C: Jayden Hunt, Clayton Oliver, Christian Salem
HF: James Harmes, Sam Weideman, Angus Brayshaw
F: Corey Wagner, Tom McDonald, Jake Melksham
Foll: Max Gawn, Christian Petracca, Jack Viney
I/C: Braydon Preuss, Bayley Fritsch, Jay Lockhart, Josh Wagner
Emerg: Charlie Spargo, Alex Neal-Bullen, Marty Hore, Harrison Petty

IN: Billy Stretch, Braydon Preuss
OUT: Kade Kolodjashnij, Alex Neal-Bullen

Friday, April 12, 7.50pm, MCG

B: Brayden Maynard, Jordan Roughead, Jeremy Howe
HB: Jack Crisp, Darcy Moore, James Aish
C: Chris Mayne, Scott Pendlebury, Tom Phillips
HF: Josh Thomas, Mason Cox, Steele Sidebottom
F: Taylor Adams, Brody Mihocek, Jordan De Goey
Foll: Brodie Grundy, Dayne Beams, Adam Treloar
I/C Jamie Elliott, Travis Varcoe, Tom Langdon, Jaidyn Stephenson
Emerg: Flynn Appleby, Ben Crocker, Levi Greenwood, Callum L. Brown

IN: Travis Varcoe
OUT: Levi Greenwood

B: Taylor Duryea, Zaine Cordy, Hayden Crozier
HB: Caleb Daniel, Easton Wood, Matthew Suckling
C: Lachie Hunter, Tom Liberatore, Josh Dunkley
HF: Billy Gowers, Josh Schache, Mitch Wallis
F: Toby McLean, Aaron Naughton, Tory Dickson
Foll: Tim English, Marcus Bontempelli, Jack Macrae
I/C: Bailey Smith, Ed Richards, Sam Lloyd, Jason Johannisen
Emerg: Jackson...
The Kiwi Kid @graeme steps up to the mic...

Well, well, well – round three already and still we have rolling lock-outs. Why? Because we must bow to the almighty broadcast $ (Gil’s dictum #1). What interest do you in the next eight days if your afl side plays Thursday evening? None, but wait there is more; thank goodness for ORFF and fantasy footy. Thank you for introducing some colour into our dull lives @walesy

The round promised some nice match ups with perhaps the cobalt chooks against the deep midfield of the ‘hoppers garnering most attention outside of our direct, self-interested FL affiliation. Have been a bit too cheery lately, so am playing some Leonard Cohen for balance (“x”).

Whitsunday Warriors (1248) v Birdsville Battlers (1180)

TiB claimed to be in trouble after round 1 and reaffirmed that during round 2. There was a point in the MSD draft when TiB missed out to Lenny on Rozee by one pick (but it’s OK, he thought, I’ll grab one of the Port kids at #26) only to watch on helpless as Zac Butters, Xavier Duursma and Willem Drew went at picks #’s 19, 20 and 22. Would the Battlers be lulled into a false sense of security over “Friday Free Drinks” at the Tiki Bar or would JC’s mob move away from their attempt to have a perfect 100% points for and against?

Boak (136) reminded us of the spirit of the power. Suckling (101), Smith (118) and Jez (163) maintained the momentum. For the Battlers (see what we did there with Josh Battle) Dom Sheed (111) remembered last September and Hippy’s century would have been handy afield. Ryan (156) and Hunter (105) tried their best but the home side was too strong.

(“and she shows you where to look among the garbage and the flowers”)

Nareewillock Nuffers (950) v Waikikamoocow Incorrigibles (1248)
A chance for the cows to check the form of former favourite Dan Hann was unfortunately restricted to a glimpse through the gym windows...
Here we go. We’re now playing for cash and keeps.

How did your moves, trades and Captains go?

A lot traded Rocky IN. Will he be back?

On the up side, The Speckey is Back!
Thursday Teams have dropped.

What’s your move this week? Pick up rookies on the bubble or cull under performing Premo?

Is Rocky a must, even with games against known taggers coming up?

Or is Libba back?

Thursday 4 April, 7.50pm at Adelaide Oval

B: Jake Kelly, Alex Keath, Rory Laird
HB: Brodie Smith, Daniel Talia, David Mackay
C: Paul Seedsman, Matt Crouch, Riley Knight
HF: Rory Sloane, Taylor Walker, Rory Atkins
F: Chayce Jones, Josh Jenkins, Eddie Betts
FOLL: Reilly O’Brien, Bryce Gibbs, Brad Crouch
I/C: Kyle Hartigan, Tom Lynch, Wayne Milera, Lachlan Murphy
EMG: Myles Poholke, Andy Otten, Cam Ellis-Yolmen, Darcy Fogarty

B: Mark O’Connor, Mark Blicavs, Tom Stewart
HB: Jake Kolodjashnij, Harry Taylor, Luke Dahlhaus
C: Joel Selwood, Patrick Dangerfield, Jordan Clark
HF: Mitch Duncan, Esava Ratugolea, Brandan Parfitt
F: Gary Ablett, Tom Atkins, Gary Rohan
FOLL: Rhys Stanley, Tom Hawkins, Tim Kelly
I/C: Lachie Henderson, Sam Menegola, Charlie Constable, Gryan Miers
EMG: Ryan Abbott, Jordan Cunico, Zach Guthrie, James Parsons

Friday, April 5
Melbourne v Essendon at the MCG, 7.50pm AEDT
In: J.Wagner, C.Wagner
Out: T.Sparrow, S.May (groin)
In: K.Mutch, Z.Clarke
Out: M.Brown, K.Langford
New: Zac Clarke (Fremantle)

Saturday, April 6
Carlton v Sydney at Marvel Stadium, 1.45pm AEDT
In: C.Marchbank, L.O’Brien, L.Casboult
Out: C.Curnow (knee), J.Garlett, A.Fasolo
In: T.McCartin, J.Thurlow, J.Dawson
Out: L.Melican, C.O’Riordan, R.Clarke

Greater Western Sydney v Richmond at Giants Stadium, 4.35pm AEDT

In: J.Kelly, S.Mumford, T.Sheridan
Out: L.Keeffe, D.Simpson, B.Deledio (injured)
In: R.Garthwaite, N.Balta, S.Stack
Out: J.Riewoldt (wrist), D.Grimes (suspension), M.Weller (injured)

Brisbane v Port Adelaide at The Gabba, 6.25pm AEST
No changes
In: O.Wines,...
Courtesy of the lost but not forgotten, 1001 typewriters of Darraweit

Round 2. Women's Celebration Round.

And while we didn't record 50,000+ crowds to any of our games on the weekend (congrats to Adelaide, Carlton, the crowd and everyone at the AFLW GF on Sunday, by the way), there was plenty of fantastic fantasy footy played.

Tracey's Packers 863 def by Jen's Purples 1157

The Banks down Lovely way are quite excited indeed as the Haze go 2-0 to start the season for the first time since dinosaurs roamed the earth after a comfortable win over the Packers of Wineglass Bay.

Jen's Geelong-based dynamic duo in Stewart (120) and Duncan (103) feasted on Demon carcasses to lead the lovely Lilacs.
Six further players exceeded 80 - most of them defenders - offsetting poorer games from high-profile types like Westhoff, Heeney and Sinclair.

Despite the defeat, a number of encouraging signs for the Packers - youngsters Stephenson (101), Constable (84) and McGrath (74) among those leading the scoring.

And while Scully's return as OOP ruckman may have been muted (24/2), it is encouraging just seeing him out on the park again.

Tassie's Nuffers 1097 d Terry's Spartacus Collective 1062

A late scoring flurry led by Brad Hill was enough to lift the Nuffers to their first win of the season, a 35-point squeaker over Warriors.

Nareewillock rolled out the cold, wet and windy weather, but early on it appeared their short-handed opponents from the northern climes had adapted to the heavy going better - Boak (122), Polec (110) and Motlop (102) all tonning up, volunteering to be Spartacus and compensating for a bench-based doughnut.

And while those the Warriors' efforts were matched by the Nuffers' Powell-Pepper (109) and Ebert (106), it took a dynamic game from Brad Hill (133), as well as support from Conca and Tucker, to put the win beyond doubt.

Josh Battle's Battlers 1052 d Hobbled Wanderers 909...