Round 13 – The NAIDOC Round We celebrate the culture of Indigenous people. While for Snoz, TiB and your faithful scribe it is a “Long Walk” to a local event that does not mean we ignored the importance of the round. The Cows welcomed the Worriers with a traditional challenge (haka) but chose not to go the full cannibal, settling instead for corned silverside. The welcome finished with Paul Kelly leading the crowd in a terrific version of “From little things, big things grow.” We understand sNOz thoughtfully took some of his native friends from his NY neighbourhood on his trip to the ‘goon. They apparently helped persuade Jelly Guy to show some respect. Marble Bar Misfits (1467) v Charlies Opening Spelunkers (1213) At times it seems the Misfits and the Giants are all but coterminous; albeit most can distinguish Len and Leon despite their joint liking for orange and grey outfits. From the opening the potholers were drawn into an abyss when brave (wise) men have hesitated to venture. Laird (119), Kelly (134), Ward (136), Murphy (141) and Ryder (129) were classy and sundry others delivered 90 flavoured knockout punches. Zerrett (109) got up off the floor to inspire Blicavs (137) and SPS (102) but the MBM were not to be denied and the onslaught continued. COS are not dreadful, they are just a little out of their depth. Len was not drawn into tempting fate by recording the scoring this week. Experience tells us that even for giants, pride can come before a fall. However, they recorded the highest score for the round and few will relish coming up against them. The MBM should end the season in the top 3 and as such may avoid a first final meeting with the chooks which seems to be the fate for the fourth team after the H&A round. Gariwerd Cockatoos (1272) v Darraweit Guim Dirrigibles (1259) A matchup between teams vying for the Poggendorff – an illusory trophy which one day the holder might be able to exchange for a place in the big gig. Chris was seemingly resigned to “a belting” and when that did not occur seemed disappointed. We are strange creatures. For ant’s side Crouch the younger (116) was strong as was Jack Steven (115). However, the performance of Freddie Mercury (aka Tex) with 133 wowed the home town fans; close your eyes and you can see him in a white sequined cat suit open to the navel posturing to his adoring fans before forcing a “fan” who got too close into the upright (piano). For the blimps the Rat (110), Lyons (107), Walters (106), and Z Smith (109) and Brown (103) were good but can feel somewhat let down by their defenders. The cockies may limp into the 8 for a cameo performance Wagga Wagga Wombats (1313) vIron Knob Codpieces (1214) Well I got this one really wrong to the extent that I wrote a draft praising the Cods – it is now in the ether. Did you know the collective noun for a group of wombats is “a wisdom”? Lenny had his wisdom up and about early and were no doubt energised by the absence of the little master from the visitors’ line up. D Swallow (132) was on song, the ginger ninja (116) further enhanced his rep, as did the ginger Sicillian (109), while Josh Jenkins (112) and Shiel (106) also featured. Remarkably there were 4 scores of 99 in a decent total. Initially the resurgent Codpieces showed little fear as they faced off against the somnolent marsupials. However, Macrae (118), K Stevens (110) and Robbie Gray (110) could not stem the tide of wombats. Only 1*99 was recorded by the visitors. The Cods left Wombatland slightly sullied and with no points. They will be in the second half of the top 8 and hoping for a soft first round draw. While you may not be aware that wombats leave distinctive cubic shaped faeces, you are now and you should ready yourself for a dose in the remainder of the year from Lenny’s resurgent beasts. I suggest all ORFFANs devise a defence to wombat poo for 2018 and onwards. Cradle Mountain Devils (1414) v Foul Bay Chickens (1439) Early in the season it seemed that this would be a top of the table clash – a chance to land a blow to one’s rival’s chances of a home quarter- or semi-final. Better draft picks being the second prize. While both sides have slipped down the table (out of contention according to some) your scribe still rates both sides as serious contenders. No-one told the teams that they were “cooked” and they turned on a classic. The absence of Duckwood has not helped the Chooks. Some think ChiefBet™ would have been as nervous as a bent racehorse trainer during a surprise visit from the stewards while awaiting the final teams. However, one of his most prized progenitors was available and obliged with a match winning 120. Dean’s weekend started brightly with Lever (111), Zaharakis (120), Hurley (117) and Zorko (196). But four sub 75 scores undid the good work. Ever, the optimist Dean dove deep into his statistics bag and noted each grand final so far included a team from outside the top four. “So far”?, me thinks Dean will not be watching the paly-offs from the sofa. The chooks depth was on display with Danger (165), Goldy (129), Cunnington (114), Mullett (110) merely the tip of the iceberg. If there is a chink in the chooks the forward line seems a bit shallow but we will refrain from writing off this mob too soon. Waikikamoocow Incorrigibles (1303) v Whitsunday Warriors (1059) The annual battle for the Pinot Cup (typically TiB’s one opportunity to see the trophy each year) was held this year in Cow country – Bulls to be precise. Rebecca Judd again hosted the traditional smokers’ evening at which Chelsea Roffey teased a little with stories of umpire abuse. A great night, the sort of night simple country people really appreciate; especially when corned silverside and pinot are abundant. The Cows were happy to see improved form from Fyfe (139), consistency from TMitch (130) and Toby was clean (123). No one else raised their bat. Perhaps their minds were on next weekend’s daunting trip to Foul Bay? For the visitors the General (117) tried to marshal his troops. But it seemed only Lambert (102) got the message and hence there was too much to do before the guys in teal and white got to work. Boak (100) and Wines (108) were excellent but to no avail. TiB’s team looked a little upset about the long trip home but did manage to smuggle some victuals onto the team conveyance. WSW to be strong in the second division, WKI may not be up to setting the massive scores that are standard with other top 4 aspirants. Mount Beauty Uglies (1054) v Lovely Banks Lilacs (1226) Fresh from their surprise despatching of the ‘hoppers the Lilacs sought to repeat the dose against the attractiveness challenged home team. ORFFANs everywhere were eagerly anticipating news of another Lilac s triumph. Recently, Bama’s dreams of a top 8 slot had stalled and here he probably hoped was a chance to move back into the eight. Dane Rampe (108) got the LLL off to a good start and for a while there were some nice efforts (e.g., Heeney, 94) but no player burst into full bloom until a purple patch from Duncan (144) before the Hoff (136) turned back the years. For Bama’s mob Reiwoldt (116) tried to repair the previous week’s damage to his potential sainthood, Sidebum (106) flickered but that was about it. Well done that girl, while patience may be its own reward. I am sure there a lot of ORFFANS delighted with Jen’s progress. The Battlers stand between Jen and a hat trick of wins – tune in next week to see what she (a la Shane Warne) serves up. MBU are outside the 8 and probably about to embark on a rebuild? Birdsville Battlers (1035) v Wineglass Bay Packers (1106) The mercurial home side, who on paper look like a top 8 (if not better) side, hosted Tracey’s pride and joy. The loss of 211 was an opportunity for the Hybrid to leave his minimal emissions on JC’s front lawn, but alas he was a no show. Was that a precursor of things to come we wondered. Pre-match talk also centred on whether the Sloane Ranger would finally get off the leash (91 – he didn’t), and how much does JC want an early draft pick. Perhaps buoyed by Jen’s success the Packers showed little fragility. Lachie Henderson (120) was the star and received strong support across the board to wrap up the points. Blakely (129) and Witts (108) were only well supported by T McDonald (100). The rest of the Battlers, well they …. battled. Treloar, Sheed and Hunter were perhaps the most disappointing. Venus Bay Vultures (1344) v Nunawading Nuffers (815) For Fitzy’s mob the Nuffers’ team sheet was no more that of passing interest – a palimpsestif you will. The Vultures are quite simply on cruise control. However, big scores this week from MBM, FBC and CMD will form the basis of future team talks. Andy thought he had reached a nadir after the constabulary cut short his session with Jake at City of Ink. He is bemused by the (incomplete?) message “lets you down” inked on his thigh and the push-up King is not interested in rebooking his appointment. Even this set back was eclipsed by the fizziness that is the vultures. Faced with the classic ORFFA dilemma - cheer your afl player or boo your opponent’s player – in this case Docherty (142) - Andy resorted to the tried and true combo of alcohol and clubbing. Four of his side skipped the game to join him. Only his big mate Charlie Dixon (115) concentrated on footy. Much work to do in Nuffer land. Meanwhile Fitzy kept that winning grin on his face, but has shown some (relative) fragility. The VBV are not a past the post proposition. Larrikin Lagoon Lefties (980) v Gundagai Grasshoppers (1005) Finally, the match up we have been waiting for all season. Numb v number, lippy v lippier, fun v funnier …… I am sure we each have a comparative title to describe this match up. No doubt the true ownership of a large wooden stirring utensil was mentioned. For art historians Jelly guy’s rebuild is redolent of the suffering in Gustav Courbet’s Trout. Would snOZ’s approach pander to the fixture lean towards the school of Romanticism or would he inject a large dose of realism and simply press the button and nuke lefty early? All talk of cobalt was forgotten and the blues descended over the land locked waters of ’goony town. The fear was as palpable as in Jaws 2 and even invoking the images of former premierships proved as useless as trying to deter vampires with a cross and (imported) garlic. Until the dreaded injury fairy turned up and smote Neale (what other explanation for his second half?) and Cripps. No ‘hopper recorded a century, albeit plaudits to Jack Martin (96) for another mature performance in the face of adversity. Seb Ross (151) was the only sparkle in some drab fare. GGH to make the top 8 but opposition coaches will be targeting them unless sNoZ can turn the season around. Jelly Guy to retain the antic disposition so beloved by the bard. . So another week in ORFFAland draws to a close. Those who need a table or a draw for next week should consult TSLeagues.
Great review my friend, I appreciate the sentiment but don't think many people would be worried about coming up against my rabble at the moment. My takeaways from this week: I think this is the first week in history both @Jen and @Tracey have won... the ORFFA Media dept might be able to confirm ChiefBet™ might not be cooked yet but the meat thermometer says it won't be long, with the Cows and the Misfits in the next 3 weeks we will see exactly who is rehearsing for the big dance. The General is a beast when he is on fire... My midfield options are having me licking my lips... Is Chris, like his beloved Richmond, worried about finishing 9th again? #Richmondy There needs to be more than just some cosmetic surgery done at Mt Beauty if they are to be pretty again Fitzy just going about his business... I still like the Cows but bloody hell that's a good squad
Very well done mate, I had to reach for the dictionary twice To save those who otherwise might the trouble; "coterminous" kəʊˈtəːmɪnəs/ adjective having the same boundaries or extent in space, time, or meaning. "palimpsest" ˈpalɪm(p)sɛst/ noun a manuscript or piece of writing material on which later writing has been superimposed on effaced earlier writing. something reused or altered but still bearing visible traces of its earlier form.
Nah, it seems Chiefbet got wind of it before I could get there and had wound the Packers into a lousy $1.01. Stingy buggers.
One of the finer weekly reviews written in a while. The standards are always high of course, but this - yeah, superb.
Chooks not concerned about ladder position this year. Picking my opposition has given them ammo so I'm happy to not be in that position. We plan to have one last crack at wielding our "meat thermometer" once the finals start though.
Some choice work there chels. We appreciate the analogous subtlety of the Trout but feel were more akin to graphic brutality of the Kill of the Deer at the moment. In "Reality" we are arguably transitioning through a palette of Courbet from our Desparate Man trade period to hopefully come out the other end (in about four years time), riding The Wave of success. And a hearty thank you to @snoz for flattering our rabble. Hope that Mr Cripps returns bigger and broader next year.