So, this is an actual thing? Selling out stadium naming rights to comic franchises? Guess this should fit in nicely with the proposed re-branding to “Heckle and Jeckle Oval” in Brisbane and “La La Loopsy Arena” in Western Sydney. Not to be outdone, the ORFFA have honoured this marvel-lous occasion with some temporary re-branding of their own.



Lovely Banks Black Widows 977 def by Wagga Wagga Wolverines 1190


Not one to shy away from gender stereo-typing, Jen’s mob have attracted the Black Widow tag due to their dubious femme fetale hijinx over previous seasons which have almost led to the untimely demise of Chris’ franchise on more than one occasion. In this outing, Lenny’s marsupials have merely sharpened their claws for a classic roll in the dirt. The Widows won the donut fight which arguably meant their undoing. Wagga’s new recruits in Richards and Langdon showed some muscle, whilst Plowman carved in to further embarrass their midfield team mates. For the home side, a healthy return from Duncan, Stewart and Heeney wasn’t enough to plug the holes in a mangled web



Cradle Mountain Daredevils 1303 def Ironmen of the Knob 988


The Knob rocked up in Tassie and had barely staggered off the bus when they launched into a Cosmic Psychos classic, “Somebody put something in my drink”.
Punters wept into their bookies tote bags as the visitors shot 400+ in arrears on last week’s score. The ‘devils got their own pipes in tune as Blue Moon was pumped out on high rotation across all lines. Notably, Messrs Gresham, Hopper, Zaha and Lever more than covered the late Seedsman fallout. A long trip home for the Ironmen as Jack murmurs incoherently whilst fighting back nightmares of Carlisle’s bad arm tats.



Birdsville Battle Machine 1051 def by The Thing of Marble Bar 1176


So the jingle goes, “it’s just like an orange soft drink - only crunchy!” The Thing from the Bar found a new lease on life and ground out back to back wins after a couple of narrow losses. Plenty more that could be said about this soiree but the eloquence of the visiting coach in his post-match presser summed it sweetly:
“Len's mob were very good given only 13 took the field, while the Battlers were fucking hopeless.”



Nunawading Hulks 890 def by Mount Beauty Deadpool 1090


No winners here with the dumb vs the deformed.
Well that’s not entirely true. A lauded effort from the Hulks as they managed to coordinate venue catering and a game of footy. Donuts aren’t everyones cup of tea however, so aprons were ditched at half time and Simmo and Geary turned heads with their defensive work. The visitors have more of a demonic than dead feel about them these days and a Melbourne surge has fans at the Mount optimistic. Gawn was his usual over-bearing self and was well assisted by the likes of Salem, Trac, Hannan, Spargo and Viney.



Darrweit Guim Black Panthers 1270 def Whitsunday Vision 983


Some say black panther others say dark horse, whichever the moniker, Chris’ cohort is still flying under the radar with all the focus on the big boys at the top of the table. Admittedly, a ruck would be nice (a common complaint), but largely an optional extra, when Cogs, Caddy and Sonny can pump out 130+ bonanzas. For the Power-lovin visitors, this round was never gonna be pretty. Combined with a smattering of cringe-worthy efforts across the board, TiB’s kids did a mighty fine job of rolling out yet another sub 1000 tally for the round. Surely seven out of 18 scoring under 1000 has got to be a record.



Foul Bay Silver Surfers 1296 def Charlies Opening Spidermen 936


Not sure if they actually surf at Foul Bay but there’s probably some cheesy metaphor that sports about riding waves of success or some shit (perhaps its actually the silver bit that’s more apt). Foul Bay are a fine example of what the Lefties could have done with their list a few years ago and continued to remain relevant.
Pfft, its not like winning is everything.
Someone said that once to a 4 yr old, I think.

The engine room for the home side was a bit onshore but a solid forward and defensive showing put this one to bed. Heater was on point (break) and Danger shook out of his funk. The cave spider kids were content to don their floaties and tread water in the shallows while the Bont grabbed a Sunny Boy and played beach blanket bingo with the Bay Cheerleaders. Not even the late inclusion of Ceglar could tip the visitors into four figures.



Gundagai Punishers 1156 def Wineglass Bay Storm 862


Over the ages, this Gundagai club has weathered the ridicule and spoon gags with disdain and tissues. Its now time for the Punishers to shine.
At least that’s what we were saying last year.
A year late and a couple bucks short (oh, now that was good), we can now see the fruits ripening. It’s rewarding to see all my off-traded first round picks being put to good use.
The visitors were more than happy to ship their roughly 10 warm bodies to the mainland for the weekend, with the conditions at the Bay considered slushy at best. An ugly slog on show here as the Grundy vs Daylight contest took centre stage. Both teams no doubt looking forward to the trade period to rest some tired kids and find a nugget.



Larrikin Lagoon Loki 987 def by Venus Bay Ultrons 1441


Well it turns out that Fitzy had every reason to be bullish about his chances here as my team has not miraculously shape-shifted overnight. I like to think there is wider sympathy for our plight and often use it as a conversation segway when telemarketers ring at awkward hours. Depressingly, most international call centre patrons don’t have a clue what I’m talking about when I named drop the Lefties. It’s amazing how quickly everyone forgets about our back to back flags. I did have one charming gent ask about Jed Anderson and what he was up to lately. We both laughed for what seemed like hours. Not sure we were laughing for the same reasons.
Anyhow, the newly capped Ultrons don’t need me pumping up their tyres anymore than they already are. Any side than can dish out 4 sub 60 scores and still nudge 1450, is dominating the universe.



The Antmen of Gariwerd 1109 def by Waikikamoocow Icemen 1447


In a classic display of patience, persistence and puffy white clouds, the Icemen of Middle Earth have comfortably returned to the winners list. Almost mirroring the depth and ceiling of Venus Bay, casting 3 sub 60s and still knocking it out of the park. A textbook admirable loss for the Antmen as they copped a couple of blanks and a Houli headache. A priceless display from a Fyfe and the Scottish symphony of McGovern, McLean and McVeigh, put the homegrown swarm on ice.