Courtesy of that man Bandit

This week was the week we remembered the fallen in ORFFA, and some players took that far too literally, with some very ordinary individual scores. However some other players took the ANZAC spirit to heart, and played with courage, valour and integrity truly befitting the occasion. A crowd of 7263 saw the Nuffers and the Spelunkers slug out a game for the ages, and coach Tracey finally popped a champagne cork with her first win of the season.


Gundagai Grasshoppers 1165 defeated the Marble Bar Misfits 998

Gundagai return to winning form taking care of a depleted Marble Bar outfit. Neale, Cripps, Adams and Rockliff combined for a very impressive 422 for the Hoppers in the guts, with Curnow, Mills and ‘The Package’ Stringer providing plenty of assistance. Grundy sucked in the ruck, but Phillips equally sucked for the misfits, tying Grundy's score with 54 points. The forward line of the Misfits was AWOL, with no player scoring over 70, whilst the man with a name built for the adult film industry, Orazio Fantasia, continued to show what a shrewd draft selection he was for Marble Bar, Gundagai are now in the lofty heights of mid table mediocrity.


Lovely Banks Lilacs 1087 defeated by Venus Bay Vultures 1225

Lovely Banks go down to the Vultures to go 0-5, but are showing plenty in the early rounds of this season. The Vultures had a doughnut which will leave a difficult conversation for Fitzy to have at the review meeting this afternoon. Rosa, Thompson, Duncan and Stanley lit it up for the Lilacs, but it was the midfield of the Vultures that won the game with tons from Parker and Greene (both 129), Gaff and Blair (both 102) icing the game early on. The Vultures rucks struggled, with Martin only getting 69 and Kreuzer doing stuff all for his 37. Fitzy might count himself lucky in this one, and the Lilacs will give a few teams some sleepless nights this season.


Gariwerd Cockatoos 1056 defeated by Larrikin Lagoon Lefties 1103

This game had a foul stench about it all day. With only four tons from all thirty players, the scores were never going to be huge, but the Lefties managed to stay unbeaten and get home by 47 points. Wallace and Goldstein the only notables on the field, and the Gariwerd forward line will be left to have a good hard look at themselves, especially Wingard (36) Miller (42)and Bundy Christensen (23) all awful. The lefties go to second on 5-0 whilst the Cockies slip to 15th place at 1-4.


Wagga Wagga Wombats 1085 defeated by Iron Knob Codpieces 1237

Iron Knob move to 4-1, whilst still being without a ruckman. Jack Darling is doing his best but I dare say the Codpieces will be looking to stiffen up that area of the team mid season. Just like our beloved Gallipoli soldiers, too much was left to too few for the Wombats with Gibbs being the only person to make a ton. It could have been even worse for the Wombats if Jim had got the selections right, leaving Poppy as an emergency in the forward line. Ablett, McCrae, Waite, Riewoldt and de Goey all lighting it up for the men from the Knob.


Foul Bay Chickens 1506 defeated the Cradle Mountain Devils 1211

Devils smashed by a rampant Foul Bay. ChiefBet is being accused of cooking the books to get better odds on the Chooks (how's that for a grade poetry prose!) as they sit 5-0 with another 1500+ score. $5 at this point looks to be a steal, but you won’t get a fraction of that at the moment. 8 players making a ton for the chooks, with 3 more in the nineties. Astute recruit Shane Biggs (another adult movie star name) went large as well for the Bay. Cradle Mountain tried hard, with Pendles, Spurr and Zorko the magnificent giving their all, but need more from their young guns like Jack Steele to lift a bit (there is another fit for an adult movie).


Mount Beauty Uglies 1515 defeated Birdsville Battlers 1158

The Uglies were a thing of beauty this weekend, notching up the highest score for the round. Boyd, Cotchin, Gawn, Rioli, Riewoldt and Viney all going huge, however it was the man with the pornest sounding name of them all Steele Sidebottom who went massive, tearing the Battlers apart with a 166. Four tons from the Birdsville boys was impressive, but nothing was going to stop the Uglies this weekend. Lurking in 5th place, they will be causing the teams above them on the ladder to look over their shoulder.


Nunawading Nuffers 1176 drew with Charlies Opening Spelunkers 1176

What a match at Mitcham Oval! The Cheerleaders were in full flight, doing their best to distract the Opening’s forward line with a series of high leg kicks and acrobatic tumbling. It worked because the Spelunkers forward line stunk it up in a big way with Merrett (53), Gunston (50), LeCras (65) and Lonie (28) leaving coach Bandit a lot to think about on the trip back to The Pit. 5 tons from the Nuffers, with Simpson leading the way with a fantastic 129 kept the contest close, but three sub 50 scores from the Nunawading lads cost them the win. Cracking game all up.


Waikikamoocow Incorrigibles 1261 defeated by Wineglass Bay Packers 1262

There was a touch of irony in the land of the long wine glass… with the Wineglass Bay Packers notching up their first win of the season against the pinot swilling cows by a solitary point. A few too many corned beef sandwiches before the game left each team recording a zero due to having player out with stomach cramps, but it was the injury to Fyfe which cost the Incorrigibles the win. How long the talisman is going to be out for waits to be seen, but coach Graeme will be scratching his head as to how he fills such a void. On the other side Tracey was popping bottles of Kristal everywhere with 8 scores over 90 in a sign of things to come.


Whitsunday Warriors 1040 defeated by Darraweit Guim Dirigibles 1294

The Warriors went down to a superior outfit from the Guim, who will need to undergo anger management classes with Alex Rance following Steven May’s lead from last weekand deciding if you can win fair and square, just take a cheap shot at the first opportunity. Looks like he might be out for one or more once the ORFFA MRP sits later this week. The Hoff was woeful for the Guim with a 28, but Suckling was even worse for the Warriors with a measly 17, causing coach Terry to throw his larb gai out onto the street for the stray dogs to sniff at. Tree trunk legs Wines the only highlight for the Warriors.
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