Flagpoles were snapped off at half-mast around the country this week as we honoured the fallen Hoppers three-peat.


Gundagai Grasshoppers 1037 def by Larrikin Lagoon Lefties 1218


Slicked with swamp-mire from the season breaking rains on KI, the Lefties trudged across the ditch to no man’s land to try and restore some pride after a dismal display the week prior. Mr Cripps was chomping at the bit to turn it on against his old club and the home crowd was not disappointed. In what was to be a bitter-sweet symphony, Cripps and Curnow tore the Lefties (and Pies) midfield apart. Cruelly, their superiority came at the expense of Aish, Cox and Grundy who floundered around looking for Rocky’s missing hammy. Gibson and Lewis surprised for the visitors, after finally being relieved of their back-breaking grind of having to prop up Jay Schulz (Weekend at Bernie’s style) at mid-week media events. A generally underwhelming contest with some forward line cameos from the Package and the Magic Haggis (prizes awarded for working that one out) giving the Hoppers false hope, only to be snuffed out by Joey late in the game.


Venus Bay Vultures 1187 def Iron Knob Codpieces 1025


Now we all know it’s a friggin long drive from the middle of nowhere in SA over to gloomy Venus Bay, so no one blames the Codpiece outfit for indulging in a light dusting of meth to see the journey through. However, it appears that ice was on the menu for all three courses, as the ‘Pieces rolled into town on another galaxy. Iron Knob’s ice-bender had them seeing snowmen all over the place with Gaz 82, Burger 80, Macrae 82, J Roo 84 and Hanley 58. On the flipside, the Vultures forward line proved that they are great breeders of one-trick ponies, with a knackery-worthy performance. As the match wore on, Coach Fitzy started beaming like a kid in a candy store as he legally sipped away on his tasty beverage and watched Docherty and Pittard towel up an unprotected Waite. In the end, the home side prevailed, reinforcing the notion that two rucks are better than none.



Marble Bar Misfits 935 def by Cradle Mountain Devils 1373


Let me set the record straight here, despite getting trounced last week, this author has a soft spot for the old Misfits. Nothing to do with the players or the coach. It’s that overwhelming orange hue that reminds me of eating "Toobs" from the school tuckshop every Wednesday. Man I loved those chips, the flavour lingered on your fingers for hours, and almost made an afternoon of Applied Maths tolerable. Ok, teenage nostalgia aside. This contest showed some promise on paper after a strong outing from the Bar in round 6 and the Devils treading water with 1150 – 1200’s. Alas it was all one way traffic for the Devils as Pendles put on a master-class and Whitfield a disaster-class. Ward battled admirably but the continued loss of law firm Elliot, Smith and Laird (plus a functional ruck) was telling. Solid efforts from Zork, Zaha and Zhiels all boosted the visitors to an easy win.



Lovely Banks Lilacs 1127 def Birdville Battlers 1065


With all the talk of GWS pillaging academy players from the entire state of NSW, Lovely Banks have managed to fly under the media radar in their manipulation of every piece of prime talent south of the Murray. The cloak of this monster has been ceremoniously ripped off, and it’s a Lovely specimen. Hartung, Heeney and Moore were standouts against a bucket load of sub-par Battlers. Most concerning for the visitors would be the continued failure of a normally solid defence. Enright lived the creed but he was no match for his blue-hooped counterparts on the other side of the ledger. Who would have tipped that after 7 rounds that the ORFFA purple haze would have a better win/loss record than their lavender AFL colour-kind?



Gariwerd Cockatoos 1167 def by Charlies Opening Spelunkers 1259


With both teams smarting after losses last week, this match up was destined to end in tears. Unfortunately it was the Cockies who were left sobbing like a bleary-eyed kid who just dropped their flake-cone soft serve before they even had a bite. To add sprinkles and cherries to injury, the Troggs dug deep into the Pit to unearth four tons and four 90+ gems. The Gariwerd engineroom was able to hold their heads up high with Jones starring but the Bont chimed in with a towering performance to kill all hope of a home side rally. A 1 – 6 start for the Cockies is a pretty damning set of numbers that will have Ant fuming given his side has all the hall marks of a 1250+ output.



Wagga Wagga Wombats 1432 def Wineglass Bay Packers 1249


Bookies around the country would have been licking their chops over adding this to their multis. However the Packers had other ideas as they gave the rampaging Wombats the shock of their lives. The 180 point margin really doesn’t do justice to the dogged effort served up by the Packers. Lynch, Miles, Griffin and Pearce all went to funky town, giving the visitors a sniff of hope. The Marsupials nearly shat in their den at the sight of this Packer resistance and proceeded to crank out their own uber-cameos with Gibbs, Jenkins and Sheppard spoiling the party. Plenty to take home for the visitors who could easily have triumphed over most other teams this week.



Foul Bay Chickens 1291 def Darraweit Guim Dirigbles 1130



Ah, do you remember the good ol days when Foul Bay had all those injuries and everyone was filled with hope at the prospect of being able to challenge for a premiership? Yeah I bet those 2 weeks of 2015 were the most exciting time for many an ORFFA coach. Now I’m not the type of guy to harp on about others failings or misfortunes but HAVE A LOOK AT THAT CHOOK BACKLINE! Two and a half fit defenders at Foul Bay is the best chance you’re gonna get kids, so sack Travis Bloody Cloke as your forward line coach and get some serious offence happening. The Blimps had the right idea this week and came in heavy up forward but couldn’t cash in up the middle, as Armo and Newnes continue to show the after-effects of the longest, drawn-out farewell party on Earth. To be honest, this whole club exec ship-jump fad is becoming so passe. You just know its run its course when Eddie Maguire wants to get in on the act. Blah blah, digression. The Chooks were more than lucky to steal this one thanks to the Danger, Ducky and Arbtel three hooped circus.



Mount Beauty Uglies 1416 def Whitsunday Warriors 1172


Now I have a theory here, so hear me out. I’m almost 100% convinced that the Demons could quite easily finish this season undefeated with just a couple of minor ruck tweaks. If Max Gawn can smash out 160+ scores just by sporting that enormous friggin beard then Roosy just needs to kit him out with a Viking helmet and a battle axe and 250+ scores are not beyond him. Honestly though, the vision of Rory Lobb cowering fetal-like in the ¼ time huddle, was not unexpected. This set the tone for the day as Gawny completely bypassed his midfield rovers and smashed every centre bounce straight into the forward line. Dusty, NRoo, Cyril and Reid had a field day, giving the Warrior defence no show. Motlop produced a blinder after being thrown into the guts while Gibson toiled admirably in trying to quell the Flanking Glute. Uglies in a canter and quietly living up to their pre-season favouritism.



Nunawading Nuffers 1253 def Waikikamoocow Incorrigibles 1143


Let’s be honest here, seeing the names Palmer and Armfield in your forward line is scarier than a visit from John Jarratt during a remote, outback camping trip. As luck would have it, coach Andy just happens to be packin' more than enough artillery down the ground to create his own meteorite crater. A 385 defense is more than enough to put the heat on, add that to tons from JPK and Nic Nat and you're rockin'. Nothing against the Cows, they are a good side and put up a decent fight. Correction. Hannebery put up a decent fight. I’m sure chels still weeps himself to sleep at night, pining for Fyfe.