<div id='yui_3_16_0_1_1436139171287_5328]St Kilda has today sensationally sacked its coach, Alan Richardson, for not meeting the board's low expectations.
<div id='yui_3_16_0_1_1436139171287_5353]
<div id='yui_3_16_0_1_1436139171287_5408]St Kilda board chairman Faceless Manstein made the announcement at a snap press conference held at the Linen House Blanket Fort this morning.



'Look...[span class='yiv9222949605026175903-24062015]We were crystal clear about our vision for the club when we hired Richo' said Manstein
<div>
<div id='yui_3_16_0_1_1436139171287_5406]'He knew full well his job was to underachieve... We're not about to let the likes of him potentially ruin 100 years of club tradition.'
<div id='yui_3_16_0_1_1436139171287_5404]
<div id='yui_3_16_0_1_1436139171287_5396]The impact of the clubs unexpected upward trajectory is being felt across all aspects of the club.

Saints Marketing Manager, Allison Hotbroad explains:

'It's horrible, we're totally unprepared. We've run out of merchandise... aside from the commemorative Clinton Jones ashtrays.'
<div id='yui_3_16_0_1_1436139171287_5394]The Saints have also been forced to airlift emergency supplies of Josh Bruce Bobble-Heads to Moorabbin, in a desperate attempt to satisfy demand.
<div id='yui_3_16_0_1_1436139171287_5393]
<div id='yui_3_16_0_1_1436139171287_5392]It is believed the board were finally forced to act on Richardson after receiving a bombshell invoice from Linen House Blanket Fort cleaner, Darren.



'I've been cleaning their trophy cabinet for 28 years on a fixed rate.... their Spray 'n' Wipe budget is already at breaking point.'

'...Even a laminated NAB Rising Star nomination would bankrupt them, let alone an entire premiership cup.' Darren explained.
<div id='yui_3_16_0_1_1436139171287_5398]
<div id='yui_3_16_0_1_1436139171287_5400]Former Carlton coach Michael Malthouse is the overwhelming favourite to succeed Richardson.

More to follow....