ORFFA Round 1 - ROUND WRAP

Discussion in 'ORFFA' started by TerryinBangkok, Mar 23, 2020.

  1. TerryinBangkok

    TerryinBangkok Moderator Staff Member

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    Breaking News.............. (noticed there hasn't been any news this week that wasn't breaking)
    We don't have Match Day scores, so it is all being done by hand (and there could be mistakes!). Since the powers have stalled the season, I feed it to you piecemeal.
    FOUL BAY CHICKENS 1404 def MARBLE BAR MISFITS 1168
    Downtrodden, shunned and even slaughtered during the Avian Flu pandemic, the Chooks have bidden their time. This is their hour in the sun. The coach of the Chooks was so focused he didn't have time to do his annual ORFFA Odds. Safe on their home ground, the Chooks quickly bridged the social distance with a whopping 185 to Cunnington fed by a lusty 136 from Goldy. Saad chipped in with a handy 110 and, if you don't mind, twin tons on the bench.
    Zac Williams came down with something and threw @Len a donut. Which he probably threw back in disgust having no R on the bench. Lots of tons to J. Kelly, Sloane, NicNat, D. Smith and Nick Haynes, but mostly little ones which were not enough to cover the spuds. Weller and Laverde complained about the facilities, particularly the lack of toilet paper. With the on again, off again season, Chief had little time to prepare and, there being no spectators, why would you worry about dunny paper?
    @ChiefRussell is now lamenting the season that could have been while Len is thinking he may have dodged a bullet.
     
    Last edited: Mar 24, 2020
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  2. TerryinBangkok

    TerryinBangkok Moderator Staff Member

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    Installment #2

    Another piece of the meal. An exciting contest, and well won by the Wombats. Mind you, they won't be reading this as they are off digging a grave at the bottom of Gurwood Street for Bryce Gibbs.
    LOVELY BAY LILACS 1187 def by WAGGA WAGGA WOMBATS 1247
    Dylon Shiel did it. Played like he was only going to get one game this year and knocked out 163. Bang! Being a cat-person, @Jen must be happy with the 120 from Duncan, 100 from Stewart and a 'thank you very much' 152 from Heeney. Shai Bolton? Hell, he's not shy at all. 102. And they all ate humble pie when Sammy Naismith knocked out a comfortable 121. Those 'eats, roots, shoots and leaves' folks would be over the moon with decent tons from Rozee and Langdon. A couple of 90s in there (one a debut to Mar Lion) enough to get Place of Many Crows over the line (this in spite of his only two crows spudding it up big time).
    Improving side this year. All @Lenny120 needs is a season.
     
    Last edited: Mar 24, 2020
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  3. anthak

    anthak Moderator Staff Member

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    You’ve got about 5 weeks to get these done anyway :)
    Commendable to see you getting onto it manually straight up on day 1 of the break.
     
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  4. TerryinBangkok

    TerryinBangkok Moderator Staff Member

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    Part 3

    Having taken an hour or two to tot up the scores (Fan Footy keeps refreshing to a blank page), I was in no mood to write up this one. The neighbour with his steel grinder doesn't assist when you're totting. But then I saw the final scores and I thought, I really do not want to write up this one. It was a slaughteration. I thought we had a pretty good pre-season draft? An opportunity to get some warm bodies on the park?
    WINEGLASS BAY PACKERS 784 def by BY CRADLE MOUNTAIN DEVILS 1187
    They are breathing the same air (albeit at different altitudes) and basically feeding off the same paddock. How can Tasmania be a land of such contrasts? No wonder the AFL won't give them a team. The Packers served up 4 donuts. The sun was not shining on the Bay. A lone ton to Andrew McGrath, a miserable day in front of the home non-crowd. The Devils played to par with tons to Pendles, Hopper, Steele, Lynch and Breust. The coach @dmandrews is probably happy with that day at the office and glad of sidestepping the current trauma of an inter-state visit.
    Good enough reason to hit the pause button on the season.
     
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  5. TerryinBangkok

    TerryinBangkok Moderator Staff Member

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    Part the hair.

    Perfect snapshot of ORFFA. A man with his finger on the button of the nuclear arsenal and an aspirant slowly starting to climb into the rebuild. Why the AFL didn't transfer this game to another venue is beyond me, but the charred grass on Swamp, sorry, Lagoon Oval didn't seem to bother the Hoppers who descended in plague proportions.
    Larrikin Lagoon Lefties 850 def. by Gundagai Grasshoppers 1560
    The ferry wasn't running and Riley Bonner could not get across in time. The Hoppers made use of Air Force One (the usual passenger was busy polishing Pinocchio's nose) and all arrived fresh, except perhaps for MacPherson, who doesn't seem to travel all that well. @snoz set the boys a task of nothing under 80 and they pretty much stuck to it.
    If you are only going to have one game this season, make it a 1500+ outing.
    Plenty of tons, but the contributions of Grundy (179) and Neale (157) showed the difference in class. All that @That KI Guy has to do is think back a couple of seasons to when the Hoppers were in rebuild. What a job he has done.
    A couple of flashes for the Lefties with 131 from Jy Simpkin and a 132 from Perryman (who looked set to have a big year). The makings are there, but they needed this season under their belts. An extended holiday will not help.
     
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  6. TerryinBangkok

    TerryinBangkok Moderator Staff Member

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    Part 5 of the continuing saga.......

    Methinks the Commish should have a quiet word in @anthak 's ear. Hoarding donuts is not PC - right up there with dunny paper.
    NOWHERE ELSE WANDERERS 1193 def. GARIWERD COCKATOOS 1146
    Ant did everything he possibly could to toss this one. Letting the big ponies run and hobbling the rest, getting into the best possible position for the MSD and then suggesting we hold it now! :cool: Hanley will be the first to get the chop. Five big nuts paired with tons just about everywhere else. More nuts than Snickers.
    @DaveH had heroes in DBJ, Cogs, Lyons and Walters, but it was debutante Tom Green who provided the bacon.
    A surprisingly close contest. You could not get odds on the Cockies before the first bounce. Houli, Hooker, Jack Steven, Christensen and Hanley are still scratching their heads (NO! NO! Don't toucha the face). "Where the hell is Nowhere Else and do they have an airport?"
     
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  7. TerryinBangkok

    TerryinBangkok Moderator Staff Member

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    Installment #6

    @TheTassieHawk may not have got the chocolates, but he did manage to put the wind right up me.
    WHITSUNDAY WARRIORS 1189 def. NAREEWILLOCK NUFFERS 1147
    Lobb 'n Boak carried the Warriors over the line. Josh J. was a gnat's foreskin away from a delist before the PSD, but then all the hype about strong pre-season, never looked fitter, etc. These journos get their cues from Donald Trump. Big 28 for JJK - big bench for you me lad.
    The Nuffers Coach should be pleased with his team's well rounded performance - no super heroes, just nice consistency across the field. Augurs well for a good season if we ever manage to get one and a playing ruck emerges. Rowell made his debut and didn't disappoint.
    Glad to have that one in the box - would not wish to meet this team later in the season.
     
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  8. That KI Guy

    That KI Guy Moderator Staff Member

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    Beautiful work TiB!
    Hoping for more footy and more kickarse reviews.

    Lefties will froth over a rebuild that can even moderately stack up against this Hopper behemoth.
    Impressive work @snoz
     
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  9. anthak

    anthak Moderator Staff Member

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    Thanks for the reviews TiB! Had me laughing a lot.
    Oops about these donuts! I set my team way before AFL teams were announced and I wasn’t thinking about injuries etc. I was just playing around and meant to update it all closer to lockout, but I didn’t get time unfortunately :(
     
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  10. snoz

    snoz Moderator

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    @TerryinBangkok.......HUGE thanks for writing these reviews !!

    @ThatKIGuy........HUGE commiserations for being road kill o_O

    Signed - The coach going into Day 11 of a complete lockdown in what has become the epicenter of this SHIT !!!
     
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  11. Len

    Len Cockburn Knightrider Staff Member

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    Sadly the cause of mine also :(
     
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  12. Bandit

    Bandit Moderator Staff Member

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    Stay safe mate, if what we are hearing over here is true it isn't a great place to be at all
     
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  13. JC

    JC Well-Known Member

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    It's a shame old Trumpy feels the need to one up China at every opportunity, huh?

    Jokes aside - stay safe, mate.
     
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  14. Bandit

    Bandit Moderator Staff Member

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    3 games left to review @TerryinBangkok, and the Spelunkers membership group are at my door with pitchforks and burning torches as I promised regular content as part of their membership, and I was hoping to outsource the content production to SE Asia

    Are we drip feeding them to the masses to stretch It out further in times of doom?
     
    Last edited: Mar 31, 2020
  15. JC

    JC Well-Known Member

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    Battlers fans will be happy to avoid reading anything to do with their team's round 1 effort. :(
     
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  16. Len

    Len Cockburn Knightrider Staff Member

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    7 days so far working from home in isolation to protect the company's intelectual property.

    I think they picked the wrong guy :p
     
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  17. snoz

    snoz Moderator

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    Thanks @Bandit & @JC........you guys will be there soon (the 100% lockdown), hopefully not the fucking
    disaster that Trumpy has engineered here. From fake news to up shit creek in 4 quick weeks !!
     
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  18. graeme

    graeme Well-Known Member

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    Use "IP" @Len , harder to stuff up.

    During my recent extended treatment I'd have 3 weekly blood tests. I wondered how the hell could the liver function be normal given the amount I was drinking and had drunk all my life? (Sound familiar anyone - not just Len?) One appointment, under amused questioning, the oncologist slipped and said the liver function test was "NFY." This highly technical term apparently means "normal for you" as opposed to normal for the population. Case solved.
     
    Last edited: Apr 6, 2020
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  19. TerryinBangkok

    TerryinBangkok Moderator Staff Member

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    Yes (short answer). Possibly stems from frustration binge watching all the RL State of Origin games (AFL offering nothing) and you find the decider game is missing. Tell your membership group they are breaking isolation rules and to get back in their caves.
     
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  20. Bandit

    Bandit Moderator Staff Member

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    Just a quick welfare check folks.... I trust you are all going ok, emptying and replenishing your food and alcohol reserves, and generally keeping in good spirits.

    if that is not the case, and you need someone to talk to, please just reach out, I am not a good listener, but I am better than you trying to sort out shit on your own.

    Stay safe
     
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