Round 11 Review Bring out ya dead! So this whole bring out ya dead theme seems to conjure images of corpse wagons and proclamations of “I’m not dead yet!” from prematurely discarded spouses. However, contrary to some rumours, we ORFFA folk are a black-hearted bunch, so you’ll want to be showing more talent than just breathing to keep your name on a squad here. Analysis is primarily focused on the bad, the ugly and the Dutton of the weekend. Hoppers 1235 def by Wombats 1245 So apparently there’s some wacky time zone differential in play across this league? First I’ve heard of it. Sounds like fake news. Anyways, a tight contest which was arguably decided by Weitering’s shoulder. Taking nothing away from the rollicking Wombats who have been digging deep over the past month. Ump mic sound grab: “Fuck a duck, I’m not a Ruck! / Tell me about it!” – Wayne Milera/ Ben Hobbs Not dead yet – Weit & Casboult Bitten, but not yet turned – Milera & Impey No discernable heartbeat – Grundy & Downie Cows 1356 def by Chooks 1368 Another nail-biter decided by an early defender injury. ROB did his darndest to drag his side over the line but was a bridge game too far. Chooks starting to get their swagger on as they stake a claim for a spot in the also ran part of the ladder. Ump mic sound grab: “Get up Jeremy, its only a flesh wound” – Chels Not dead yet – McGov & Kelly Bitten, but not yet turned – Mitchell & Ziebell No discernable heartbeat – Simpson & Snelling Cods 1139 def by Lilacs 1150 Yet another nail-biter decided by… the visitors literally falling over the corpses of their scattered teammates to seal a putrid win. C’mon, let be frank, if some random Carpenter hadn’t scored 17500 points then the home side would have had this in a canter. Ump mic sound grab: “Hey boys, Triple team and menage a trois are not the same thing” – churchboy Not dead yet – Riewoldt & Jonas Bitten, but not yet turned – Greenwood & Wright No discernable heartbeat – Chesser & Bianco Lefties 1065 def by Cockies 1308 Yet another… spanking for the Lefties. Hell, at least 4 figures are more the norm now. Sort of feels like an Essendon-esque rebuild though. Must be time for an internal review. Not all beer and skittles for the visitors with a meek fwd line some concern. Ump mic sound grab: “So, I’ve been hearing some good things about this corporate review organization. Collective Minds I think they’re called, let’s give them a tingle”– ThatKIGuy Not dead yet – Berry & Ross Bitten, but not yet turned – the rest of the Lefties No discernable heartbeat – Nakia & Polec Dung Beetles 1155 def Nuffers 984 Yet… Ok that joke has run its course. Wow, Dung beetles with 3 wins from last 4 games. Let’s crack open the…Reality Check. Pretty sure wins vs the two bottom sides only count as half wins (I should know as I cling to these too). Actually, this was a pretty shit game all round, no thanks to the Nuffers. Ump mic sound grab: “What are we doing?” – Coach Chris Not dead yet – May & Dumont Bitten, but not yet turned – Newnes & Tucker No discernable heartbeat – Seedsman & Daniels Devils 1267 def by Vultures 1403 Alrighty then! Match of the round billing living up to expectations, not so much the Devils backline. Dean’s tactic of playing 15 ruckmen almost paid off (yanno Pendles has a basketball background, right?). Vultures plodding in third gear and cracking 1400 if ya don’t mind. Ump mic sound grab: “I think I left the iron on” – Zorko in the quarter time huddle Not dead yet – Jones & Gaff Bitten, but not yet turned – Lever & Fisher No discernable heartbeat – Hurley & Caddy Misfits 1187 def Troggs 1110 Its about this time in the review writing process that my mind starts to wander and I lose my sense of common decency. How the actual fuck did the Misfarts get over the line here? Literally 2.5 donuts and a side serve of luke warm Mundy gets you a win these days! Sorry Bandit, yes you had some shit players too. Mediocrity sux. Ump mic sound grab: “Good Riddance Leon” – anonymous Not dead Yet – Ward & Florent Bitten, but not yet turned – Hough & Rivers No discernable heartbeat – NicNat & Skinner Battlers 1172 def by Uglies 1325 Probably a bit more one-sided than expected thanks to a couple of Ugly cameos. But were not here to talk about the highlights. Let’s draw our attention to exhibit A: the Battlers Ruckline and Forwardline and IC something or other. A sorry tale of despair and woe. What the hell is up with the word Woe anyway. It feels a bit odd and unfinished. I’ll keep using it for now but its definitely on my “never again for ORFFA 2023 review” list. Yeah, blah blah, Uglies on a roll. Someone call Heavymen a cab. Ump mic sound grab: “Weeth gots dat loorvin fearwing, ohh dat.. hic!” – Heavymen monopolising the jukebox Not dead yet – Waterman & Ellis Bitten, but not yet turned – Taylor & Fort No discernable heartbeat – Sheed & Dow Packers 1100 def by Warriors 1236 A cracking game, chock full of blue moons and yawn-worthy skills. Really gets our turn styles buzzing. Pretty sure John Noble single-handedly won this for the Warriors. Never heard of him? Nah me neither. Probably has earned the Keys to the Airlie Beach boat ramp with that effort. For the home side, twas the orange mush doing predicably orange things. Ump mic sound grab: “Alright let’s do this for the boss” – Warriors ¾ time huddle Not dead yet – Daicos & Dixon Bitten, but not yet turned – Riccardi & Durdin No discernable heartbeat – Constable & Narkle
Well @That KI Guy , a clever idea very well executed. Dug the use of a sharp spade in "a bridge game too far" - diamond of a line, a subject close to me heart as you know; no need to use a club with such subtlety. Hard to trump, maybe the best throw away line for some time. If only Amber had been that clever in blogging about Johnny.
Disappointing pre-bye effort. JHF becoming a forward/mid might help a touch. Big Ivan becoming a forward/ruck probably achieves not a lot. Injection of talent required in the MSD - seeking high end picks to achieve that task is going to be interesting.
Thanks, @That KI Guy . Hard to be competitive when the coach shoots himself, and the team, in the foot preseason.
DungBeetles coach is still in the honeymoon stage, counting every win as two. Will go full (Ross) Noble at the halftime mark of the next impending loss. Until then, the board has my full backing...uh...I mean I have theirs.