Iron Knob Codpieces vs Wineglass Bay Packers The Wineglass Bay Packers roared past the Iron Knob Codpieces with the rush of a Tasmanian Devil high on caffeine! Looks like the Codpieces couldn't quite handle the Tassie tempest, succumbing by a score of 1250 to 814 and handing the Packers their first win for the season. The Codpieces coach is lamenting their rusty start to the year that sees them currently sitting in last spot, but is hoping that the loss galvanizes the player group. Birdsville Battlers vs Dunsborough Dung Beetles A cagey Birdsville Battlers squad were unfortunately severely depleted by the dreaded football affliction known as The Bye! Upon realizing that half the squad had failed to get on the team bus, the Battlers coach was heard loudly exclaiming "Crap!" which unfortunately set the DungBeetles off and they rolled quickly over their opponents with a score of 1104 to 744. After just two rounds the Dung Beetles have almost equaled their entire number of wins for the entire 2023 season and remain undefeated. Did someone say Juggernaut? Larrikin Lagoon Lefties vs Charlies Opening Spelunkers The Charlies Opening Spelunkers descended into the Larrikin Lagoon like intrepid explorers on a quest for victory! Their spelunking skills paid off handsomely, as they emerged from the depths with a score of 1453 to 1000. It seems the Lefties were left high and dry against the cunning Spelunkers! It was the largest winning margin of the round and has catapaulted the Spelunkers into 2nd spot. Gundagai Grasshoppers vs Cradle Mountain Devils It was a rocking affair between Cradle Mountain Devils and Gundagai Grasshoppers! The Devils outlasted their opponents on the way to their first victory this season with a score of 1348 to 1179, leaving their opponents hopping mad (apologies). The win was enough to lift them above the Grasshoppers on the table. Mount Beauty Uglies vs Lovely Banks Lilacs The undefeated Mount Beauty Uglies overwhelmed the Lovely Banks Lilacs by a score of 1307 to 1125. The Uglies coach says it wasn't pretty but he's still happy to bank the 4 points, pointing out that beauty isn't just skin deep - it can also be found on the scoreboard! Unfortunately the Lilacs remain winless but remain hopeful this season can still blossom into a successful tilt. Nareewillock Nuffers vs Marble Bar Misfits In the closest match of the week the Nareewillock Nuffers narrowly edged past the Marble Bar Misfits with a score of 1352 to 1251! The Nuffers win elevates them to top of the table, and means the Misfits are still misfiring without a win this season. Every win is a good win, Nuff said! Waikikamoocow Incorrigibles vs Wagga Wagga Wombats The Waikikamoocow Incorrigibles rode the waves of victory like seasoned surfers on a Tassie swell, leaving the Wagga Wagga Wombats floundering in their wake! With a score of 1351 to 1181, it seems the Wombats were too busy munching on eucalyptus leaves to put up any real fight against the Incorrigibles' tidal wave of talent! The Waikikamoocow's join the list of teams yet to suffer a loss. Gariwerd Cockatoos vs Venus Bay Vultures The Gariwerd Cockatoos soared to victory over the Venus Bay Vultures with a majestic grace akin to an albatross riding the winds and picked up their first 4 points this season! With a score of 1259 to 1116, it seems the Vultures were left squawking for mercy as the Cockatoos spread their wings and took flight to victory!
A fantastic effort @CursingFijian - some of the imagery brought tears and a smile to my eyes at the same time.
There is a proposal before the Marble Bar Misfits board to change the club name to the Misfires One can't tell if the applicants are taking the piss or not
Ah @CursingFijian steps upto the plate and delivers a majestic piece of prose! Scathing commentary full of quirky analogies and cringy puns. Comedy gold!