Jinkies! What a round of footy! This review is a childish, rhyming, first thing that came to mind, haphazard bullshit take on individual performances rather than anything team oriented. Legend: Rookie - best playing rookie (rookie is potentially a very loose term) Wookiee - embodies the “Chewy” ethos of doing fuck all except moaning and scratching various body parts Cookie - feasts on the fantasy spoils like a googly eyed twat Sookie - that roller coaster player who dazzles one minute and confounds the next First up, the Cradle Mountain Devils unleashed their full power against the Gariwerd Cockatoos securing a dominant 1448-968 victory. The Cockatoos fought bravely, but alas, they were the year 3 little athletics version of brave. Rookie - Harvey Langford, nice season Wookiee - Lachie Bramble, da fuq Cookie - Rowan Marshall, wowee Sookie - Ben King, uber-coaster Meanwhile, the Mount Beauty Uglies put up a pretty facade against the Dunsborough Dung Beetles prevailing 1184-1118 in a clash tighter than a Goldstein ballot box. Rookie - Steely Green, rookie ish Wookiee - Archie Perkins, peak Dons Cookie - Max Gawn, no it’s a fucking goat Sookie - Noah Balta, Baz Hall love child In a battle of pure determination, the Junee Jaguars pounced late to down the Waikickamoocow Incorrigibles 1207-1106. It was an awkward tussle that resembled a cringy Pulp Fiction petting zoo with Gimp Daniel up forward and a balding Minge down back. Rookie - Murphy Reid, noice pick Wookiee - Cal Ward, tick tock Cookie - Tim Taranto, finally Sookie - Tim Kelly, enigma The Charlies Opening Spelunkers announced themselves premiership favourites , storming past Iron Knob 1407-1228. The Spelunkers were relentless, plumbing their depth and giggling like fat cave spiders. Rookie - Levi, give him the star Wookiee - Merrett, peak Dons Cookie - Jack Sinclair, see footy, eat footy Sookie - Naicos, me tag you long time A nail-biter unfolded as the Wagga Wagga Wombats clawed their way past the Lovely Banks Lilacs 1054-1049. This was footy at its finest—tense, dramatic, delicious and katzajamming. Rookie - Trainor, everyone’s favourite D6 Wookiee - Jez Sharp, very meh to be blunt Cookie - Libba, wink wink nudge nudge say no more Sookie - The Wizard, magically annoying The Packers fought valiantly but succumbed to the force of the new world Nuffers 1327-1310. A match as topsy turvy as Michael Christian’s match review Magic 8 ball, this went right down to the wire. Rookie - Sims, ruck rookie to the rescue Wookiee - Ben Keays, special Cookie - Bailey Dale, 49 if ya don’t mind Sookie - Jim Worpel, that Mo, just No It was a landslide victory for the Larrikin Lagoon Lefties, obliterating the Venus Bay Vultures 1140-834. The Lefties will bathe in this eternal victory sunshine for years. It’s all we got. Rookie - Sam Lalor, pick 1 areas Wookiee - Parker, took a back seat for the team Cookie - Xerri, baby Sookie - double donut And finally, the Birdsville Battlers got bug slapped to the tune of 246 points (1192-1438) against the swarming Grasshoppers. A walk in the park for the “other” contender with a sombre defence glossed by a blinding engine room with points to burn. Rookie - Xavier Lindsey, much adored cow Wookiee - Sam Flanders, nek minnit he’s rucking Cookie - Bailey Smith, wtf is a Bazlenka? Sookie - Clarry, which one we got this week
Wow, ORFFA is fortunate to have so much creative talent. Kudos Mike. Oh, and congrats on a rare W for the LLL
Brilliant Mike. I think some junk time goals to Mr Higgins may have been the only reason I scraped over the line. Could've given me the Wookie as a numpty coach for leaving Rhylee West and his 100+ on the pine. The Packers are most definitely on their way - Tracey has assembled a really handy line-up.
Great read, particularly enjoyed "in a clash tighter than a Goldstein ballot box." and "an awkward tussle that resembled a cringy Pulp Fiction petting zoo with Gimp Daniel up forward and a balding Minge down back." Spelunkers staying humble, unlike Manchester Citeh