Heard Island Shags Out: Will Graham, Riley Hardeman (but very likely to be a late inclusion to cover the ruck) In: Hugo Hall-Kahan, Josh Goater, Ryan Maric, Sam Clohesy, Sam Lalor, Lachlan Smith (but very likely to be a late-out) DEF: Hugo Hall-Kahan, Jedd Busslinger, Josh Goater, Judd McVee (Lachie Jaques) MID: Massimo D'Ambrosio, Ryan Maric, Sam Clohesy, Zeke Uwland (Elijah Tsatas) RUCK: Lachlan Smith (Riley Hardeman -oop) FWD: Josh Treacy, Jagga Smith, Sam Lalor, Jake Soligo (Calsher Dear) INT: Patrick Voss, Jasper Alger
The ORFFF Round 13 review courtesy of ChatGPT ORFFF Round 13 Review: Top Four Traffic Jam, Ducks Discover Four Digits, and the Ladder Looks Settled With just two rounds remaining, ORFFF is starting to resemble one of those movies where everyone knows the ending but sticks around to see exactly how spectacularly it unfolds. The biggest result of the weekend came in the blockbuster between the Sherwood Magpies and the Drouin Dropbears. In a contest worthy of August, the Magpies prevailed 1347-1311 to strengthen their top four credentials. It wasn't the 666-point massacre of last week, but beating one of the competition's benchmark sides is worth far more than a percentage boost. The Magpies are timing their run beautifully, while the Dropbears can console themselves knowing they only lost because someone else happened to score even more ridiculous points. The Walpole Woylies had far less trouble, comfortably dispatching the Jan Juc Ducks 1436-1061. But let's not overlook the real story here—the Ducks cracked 1,000 points. That's right, a four-digit score! It's been so long that historians are still trying to verify the previous occasion. Sure, they still lost by 375 points, but baby steps. At the other end of the scoring spectrum, the Port Lincoln Power proved you don't always need fireworks to bank four premiership points, WHICH BYE THE WAY THE POWER HAVE NOW DONE FOR THE 50TH TIME. The Power scraped past The Stony Ponys 1090-1077 in a match where every disposal seemed to come with a handbrake attached. It wasn't pretty, but nobody asks how attractive the win was when they're adding four points to the ladder. Elsewhere the Whales defeated the Noahs 1344 to 1144 showing that sometimes the best-laid narratives sink faster than a leaky ark, the Black Swamp 29ers continued their consistent march with a 1323-1231 victory over the Rutherglen Fugitives, while the Mt Thirsty Boozers kept the Bucks' miserable finish to the season rolling, winning 1211-1175. The Maralinga Atoms comfortably accounted for the Heard Island Shags 1282-858, which, by Shags standards, almost counts as a respectable score. Almost. Meanwhile, the Wedge Island White Pointers dismantled the Useless Loop Virgins 1352-1170 in what may have been the match that effectively ended the finals race. With only two rounds to play, the ladder appears all but locked in. The top eight and bottom eight look set a fortnight early. The only mathematical possibility remaining is for the Virgins to somehow overhaul the Whales for eighth spot. To do that, they merely need to win both remaining matches, have the Whales lose both and erase a 923-point points-for deficit in the process. So yes, it's technically possible. It's also technically possible that Essendon wins a non wildcard round AFL final prior to 2036 but I wouldn't bet my house on either. Round 13 has left us with a fascinating battle for top-four positioning, but the finals field itself looks decided. The Magpies have announced themselves as genuine contenders, the Ducks have rediscovered four digits, and the Virgins' finals hopes now require a miracle, a calculator malfunction and perhaps a Whales coach deciding to run with 6 players per round over the final fortnight.