Ah, Round 7 — a week soaked not in glory, but in regrets. Like buying a jet ski on Afterpay or trusting a forward in Round 1 form, this was a round that reminded us all of one thing: fantasy football is pain. Dunsborough Dung Beetles (1164) vs Cradle Mountain Devils (1511) Regret Level: Leaving the lid off the compost bin The Dung Beetles turned up with hopes, dreams, and not much else. The Devils delivered a volcanic eruption of points, scorching the Beetles back to their... well, dung. @dmandrews was last seen sipping whisky in smug satisfaction; the Beetles' camp smells faintly of deep existential crisis. Gariwerd Cockatoos (1262) vs Junee Jaguars (1087) Regret Level: Getting a jaguar tattoo on a drunken dare The Jaguars regret everything, particularly showing up. The Cockatoos didn’t exactly soar, but when you’re up against a team with the hunger of a sedated house cat, even modest effort wins. @Len is now questioning the meaning of life, or at least Tim Kelly's midfield perfromance. Mount Beauty Uglies (1277) vs Iron Knob Codpieces (1121) Regret Level: Naming your team after historical armour and losing anyway The Uglies, ironically, were a thing of beauty. The Codpieces? Less so — rusted, squeaky, and unable to hold much. They regret forgetting to reinforce their backline having two donuts, one filled with an emergency. There’s talk of a rebrand to the Iron Knob Softshells. Waikickamoocow Incorrigibles (1023) vs Wagga Wagga Wombats (1208) Regret Level: Letting a wombat run your tactical planning The Incorrigibles continue to live up to their name — no amount of intervention can help them now. The Wombats waltzed through like a marsupial on a mission. Waikickamoocow’s biggest regret? Not fielding a team made entirely of Josh Dunkley's, or perhaps fielding a team at all. ️ Charlies Opening Spelunkers (1283) vs Nareewillock Nuffers (1241) Regret Level: Taking a wrong turn in a cave and finding a decent effort too late A surprisingly close one! The Nuffers almost dug themselves out of their usual subterranean misery, but the Spelunkers emerged victorious, headlamps intact. The Nuffers regret just narrowly missing out on respectability, but cest la vie. Lovely Banks Lilacs (881) vs Venus Bay Vultures (916) Regret Level: Planting lavender where thistles were needed The Lilacs wilted in spectacular fashion, barely scratching 900. The Vultures swooped in for the ugliest win of the round — and boy, do they regret how hard they had to work for it. A game that set fantasy football back ten years. The highlight was when someone turned the TV off. Wineglass Bay Packers (1305) vs Gundagai Grasshoppers (1488) Regret Level: Betting against the Grasshoppers during locust season The Packers played well — just not Grasshopper-well. Gundagai leapt skyward, stomping on hopes like they were soft garden lettuce. The Packers regret nothing… except not recruiting a forward line. There’s no shame in being third-best score in the league... stiff to get done this round @Tracey. Larrikin Lagoon Lefties (1003) vs Birdsville Battlers (1208) Regret Level: Trusting the Lefties to show up A rough week for the Lefties, who may be left wondering if their season is more comedy than competition. The Battlers flew in, feathered and focused, easily outclassing the limp lagoon locals. The Lefties regret giving away too many frees... and possibly their will to win. Regret Rankings (Worst to Least Bad) Lovely Banks Lilacs (881) – Did they even log in? Waikickamoocow Incorrigibles – Incorrigible indeed. Dunsborough Dung Beetles – Hosed off the field. Larrikin Lagoon Lefties – Leaking and listing. Iron Knob Codpieces – Defensive display of dysfunction. Junee Jaguars – Declawed and disheartened. So here we are, one round closer to finals and several coaching careers closer to collapse. One thing’s for sure: fantasy football is a game of glory, strategy, and deeply avoidable mistakes — and we wouldn't have it any other way. Until next week, may your captain not be concussed, and your regrets be few.
Can’t believe my mob is on a 4-game winning streak. It likely won’t last much longer so gotta enjoy it while I can!