Quickly slapped together with the aid of ChatGPT ORFFU Week in Review – “New Toys Round: Let’s Hope They Came with Batteries” Week 12 of Fantasy Football – A Round of Reboots, Rebrands and Batteries (Some Not Included) Ah yes, the annual New Toys Round—that most wonderful time of the fantasy season when coaches excitedly unwrap their mid-season draft hauls like overgrown toddlers on Christmas morning, only to realise half of them require AAAs and the instruction manual is in Bulgarian. Some teams gleefully smashed their opponents with shiny new weapons, while others discovered they’d accidentally ordered knockoffs off Wish. Let’s dive in. Cradle Mountain Devils [1461] def. Venus Bay Vultures [1208] The Devils clearly read the packaging before assembly, unleashing a proper demolition job on the Vultures, who looked like they’d mistakenly plugged their new players into dial-up internet. Cradle Mountain’s new toys were locked, loaded, and possibly illegal in several states, while Venus Bay spent most of the round looking for the reset button. Clinical, cold, and cruel from the Devils—just the way they like it. Gundagai Grasshoppers [1428] def. Nareewillock Nuffers [1271] The Grasshoppers bounced out of the post-draft fog like they’d found a cheat code, while the Nuffers, true to form, looked like a team built by someone who skimmed the instructions and tossed the box. Despite a solid effort, Nareewillock were outgunned, outpaced and generally out of luck. One suspects @snoz had a quiet chuckle watching it all unfold, red wine in hand, smug satisfaction on face. Wagga Wagga Wombats [1240] def. Birdsville Battlers [1192] A low-scoring scrap between two teams who seem to have ordered their new toys from the clearance bin. The Wombats eked out a narrow win in what can only be described as the fantasy football equivalent of two drunk uncles wrestling over a folding chair at a family BBQ. Not pretty, not clean, but technically a win. Birdsville can’t be too mad—they got what they paid for. Larrikin Lagoon Lefties [1066] def. Iron Knob Codpieces [980] A performance from Iron Knob that would make a garden gnome blush. Fumbling, flat, and faintly tragic, the Codpieces barely mustered a four-figure total. The Lefties weren’t exactly setting the world on fire either, but sometimes just turning up is enough—and that’s about all they had to do here. If Iron Knob’s new recruits did come with batteries, they were most likely C-cell and three decades expired. Wineglass Bay Packers [1263] def. Junee Jaguars [1234] A tight contest between two teams playing with fully functional gear and only mild cognitive dissonance. The Packers nudged over the line thanks to a well-timed performance from someone no one drafted intentionally, proving once again that luck beats planning nine times out of ten. The Jaguars were respectable, just not respectable enough. Good game, but let’s not overhype it—this wasn’t poetry, it was accounting with footy boots. Dunsborough Dung Beetles [1044] def. Lovely Banks Lilacs [984] It’s unclear whether either side actually read the mid-season draft brief or just scribbled some names on a napkin and hit "submit." The Dung Beetles somehow came out on top, but this was less a triumph and more a competition of who could underperform with more flair. The Lilacs were delicate in all the wrong ways—like a soufflé in a tumble dryer. Next week promises to be... well, let’s just say “better” isn’t a high bar. Charlies Opening Spelunkers [1549] def. Gariwerd Cockatoos [1188] The Spelunkers found some seriously high-end kit in the draft and weren’t afraid to use it. One can only assume their new additions came with rocket launchers and motivational speaking modules. Gariwerd, on the other hand, were decent enough but tragically outgunned. It was like watching a gladiator fight where one bloke brought a sword and the other a polite cough. Brutal scenes. Waikickamoocow Incorrigibles [1171] def. Mount Beauty Uglies [1043] The Incorrigibles won this one with the fantasy football equivalent of Ikea furniture: functional, uninspiring, but better than sitting on the floor. The Uglies lived up to their name, turning in a performance so flat it may need defibrillation. Coach @bama will be hoping his “new toys” don’t get accidentally tossed in the next council cleanup. Waikick, meanwhile, will be quietly satisfied their recent purchases at least made it out of the box. Final Thoughts: The New Toys Round delivered everything we expected: excitement, disappointment, surprise packets, and coaches frantically googling "is 41 points good?" Some of the draft hauls looked game-changing, others resembled dusty shelf-fillers from the back room of a discount electronics store. But that’s the beauty of this league: one coach’s dud is another’s desperation waiver-wire hero. See you next week—assuming your players haven’t eaten the batteries.
Googles "are three sub 65 point scores for my two best defenders and a prime midfielder good". Answer: Not if you want to score 1400 and try to beat the Grasshoppers, no. At least the Nuffers scored nearly 1300 I guess, so there could be an argument made that things are on the up and up.
Good one, Bandit. Thanks for this. Quite remarkable that it could spit this out. Who was the AI referring to here: - did they have it right?
Given it had no idea who was drafted and who didn't, it just made this up lol I literally gave it the scores... and this prompt "Write me a week in review for my fantasy foot ball team referencing these scores. Use intelligent wit and humour, with sarcasm and innuendo. The theme of this weeks round was "New Toys Round - After our mid season draft, it is time for coaches to play with their new toys. Let's hope they came with batteries" Clearly I don't have wit and humour