Wow! What a week it's been in football interwebs! I haven't LOL'd this hard since I realised cats could emote. And yet with great mirth, its antithesis, great tragedy, must follow; the ORFFL beginning to see the real toll of last weeks Carnage Round. Players missing left, right and Humpty Doo. Makes me sad



At least no dogs were harmed though. NOW WITH HAME DAY UPDATES



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TARWIN LOWER PIGS(860/11) VSQUEENSTOWN QUOLLS(770/10)



On paper it would a appear that Tarwin Lower are more than a match for Queenstown, but the ORFFL is a funny game where anything can happen in a given week. Leading the charge for the Pigs are a mix of relative lesser lights in Bastinac, Giles and Edwards, and relative stars in Riewoldt, Carrots and McIntosh. And of course, the Artist Formerly Known As Dependles, who will seek to atone for an atrocious 62 he scored last weekend.



Meanwhile, for the travelling Quolls the midfield is still king, with its defence pressing up hard, then running like mad to support. Swan has a good chance to knock up a good score against his bunnies in Port Adelaide, and Yarran to run rings around some red and black witches hats.



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POOWONG POTOROOS (677/7) VSTORRUMBARRY THUNDA(1189/14)



Gary Ablett.



It's still the first and last words when talking about the Potoroos. Gary is a prince and makes his teammates look like hacks, which I can imagine could be dispiriting. Their coach needs to have a sit down with Messers SJ and Dawes and tell them they're still good players, capable of good scores. Lie to them.



Dempster.



Word of the week for the Thunda, top scorer in last weeks game for Torroumbarry. Aside from their two stars in he and Franklin, it's a relatively even performance from underneath. Could use a tonup in there somewhere though.







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BONNIE DOON BANDITS(806/10) VSPOPANYINNING PYRITE(844/10)



Things can only get better for Bonnie Doon. That's what I thought before last weeks game, and then both Ben Reid and Daisy went down injured leaving the Bandits line-up looking like a block of swiss cheese; full of holes and just a little smelly. On the plus side though, it looks like Coniglio may finally get a run in the midfield, because frankly he's been poor in defence, averaging a measly 30 over his 3 games.



On the other side of the Heath, I suspect the coach of Popanyinning will be looking for his boys to respond to the savaging they experienced at Sarah Island on the weekend. While their midfield has been both consistent and high scoring, 6th round pick JROO needs to stop sticking up for his mate Trent and start worrying about scoring some points of his own. He then needs to turn that worry into an actual score. Which he is more than capable of.







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MALLACOOTA MAGICIANS(742/11) VS WARBURTON WANDERERS(996/12)



Ah, MagicLand. It conjures up images of amusement park rides, petting zoos and sleepovers with over-enthusiastic pop-singers. Oh noes, I have scarred myself. Starting to think the Kash Man had a plan with his ground name after all. That aside, the coach of Mallacoota will be looking for one thing this weekend (besides getting the win): for Fyfe to avoid the Knife and have his shoulder stay intact. Tricky business.



EddieV, coach of the Wanderers, will be licking his lips though at the chance to knock off 2nd place and consolidate Warburton's position in the Top 4. Fair odds on that happening, with Murphy and Kruezer in career best form and playing the Bombers this week. Add to that EV's ability to get MJ up and about suspicious and this could be a pearler of a match to go and see. I won't be going along though, I've got a class to teach!







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PURNULULU BUNGLE RANGERS(749/10) VSSARAH ISLAND SAVAGES(848/9)



And that class is over at Purnululu Bungle, where a team of youngins need some schooling on the how's, who's, and why's of DOMINATION. Shaw out is a blow, but the return of Ballantyne will mean that the change shed wont full quiet during the pre-game. Or post game. Or during game. God bless the little rascal.



Over at the Savages, the beginning of the season has seen the Big H romp away to 3 wins. Pictured below is some upper management and deckhands getting their sea legs on their first trip to the mainland this season. And not a cape in sight.



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'I'm King of the ORFFL!'



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MERTON MEERKATS(306/4) VSMILIKAPATI SNAKES (728/9)



Merton has their work cut out for them this weekend, hosting the high scoring Milikapati in the race to who can get to 3 wins first. And yet this is a team that knows how to turn on the scoring tap, belting out an impressive 1361 last weekend. The question is can they do it again? I'm no fortune teller, except when I'm grifting, so I'll keep mum. However, if SCSS wants to tell Dusty to do something, that would make us all very happy.



Milikapati excluded of course. They, I imagine, would like to see Richmond get flogged on the weekend, and for Birch's rumoured out to prove fallacious. Having already lost Kelly, the Snakes would be more than pleased to see Zmith and Hurley tonup for the first time this year. That last one wouldn't make me happy though. Makes me angry just thinking about it. Taxi!



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COULTA COULDABEENS(0) VSGLENROWAN GUNSLINGERS(626/9)



Here we find the Gunslingers travelling to Coulta if they can find it. Here's a hint: it's the place with nothing there. Well nothing but some of the finest footballers in the land. The Couldabeens welcome back Matthew Priddis to their line-up who missed last week with a something or other. Speaing of missing; where's Josh Kennedy gone? Needs to kick goals to score points for coach Bearfly.



The visitors from Glenrowan on the other hand I feel are slowing building towards a good performance. They need to get a wriggle on though, as they've already lost 3/17. Not good. Delicious and Sleeves simply need to light it up for Doobs. I'm semi-confident.



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WOY WOY WIZARDS(830/9) VSJIMCUMBILLY JACKRABBITS(671/8)



Cracking match, should this match be. The Wizard's see Old Man Black return to the ring as he tags out Old Man Brian. What I want to know is where is Old Man Hodge? They say he is still recovering from a calf injury, commonly referred to as the Old Man Injury. Regardless, they miss him at Woy Woy.



Jimcumbilly is no stranger to the casualty ward, Loo Berger going down heroicly with an Achilles ailment last weekend. Thankfully they see The People's Beard return to the line-up, because even if Angus Graham was still playing for the Tiges, I don't know if you'd want to pick him. I just don't think he has the facial hair you need in an ORFFL ruckman. Rosa has also miraculously recovered from a quad injury and will line-up too.



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HUMPTY DOO HAMMERHEADS(728/10) VSMOUNT BUGGERY DISAPPOINTMENTS (853/8)



Lastly but never leastly, the HammerHeads face off against the Disappointments, and the boys from Humpty Doo can smell blood in the water. Sadly it is their own that has been leaking out into the sea. Here's a list of outs: Ball, Goodes, Johncock, Otten, Silvagni, Bailey, Henderson, Weller, Toy, Menzel, Reimers, Darley, Varcoe. Have I missed anyone, Lucas?



For the MBD, they simply need to turn up with a full 15. And Walesy needs to hold off slapping Goldy for being the worst 1st round draft pick since JON back in the day. Hold off on slapping yourself for picking him too chief; you're about to square the win/loss ledger! And to think, people were accusing you of tanking not that long ago!


































































































<table width='359' cellspacing='0' cellpadding='0' border='0]
<col width='229[/img] <col width='65' span='2[/img]</colgroup>
<tbody>

<td style='width: 229px; height: 18px;]SARAH ISLANDS SAVAGES
<td style='width: 65px;]3-0
<td style='width: 65px;]4101



<td style='height: 18px;]MALLACOOTA MAGICIANS
3-0
3972



<td style='height: 18px;]WARBURTON WANDERERS
3-0
3764



<td style='height: 18px;]POOWONG POTOROOS
3-0
3701



<td style='height: 18px;]MILIKAPATI SNAKES
2/1
3806



<td style='height: 18px;]JIMCUMBILLY JACKRABBITS
2/1
3757



<td style='height: 18px;]COULTA COULDABEENS
2/1
3632



<td style='height: 18px;]MERTON MEERKATS
2/1
3576



<td style='height: 18px;]TARWIN LOWER PIGS
1/2
3762



<td style='height: 19px;]WOY WOY WIZARDS
1/2
3675



<td style='height: 19px;]POPANYINNING PYRITE
1/2
3631



<td style='height: 18px;]PURNULULU BUNGLE RANGERS
1/2
3584



<td style='height: 18px;]TORRUMBARRY THUNDA
1/2
3494



<td style='height: 18px;]BONNIE DOON BANDITS
1/2
3425



<td style='height: 18px;]MOUNT BUGGERY DISAPPOINTMENTS
1/2
3287



<td style='height: 18px;]QUEENSTOWN QUOLLS
0-3
3526



<td style='height: 18px;]HUMPTY DOO HAMMERHEADS
0-3
3511



<td style='height: 18px;]GLENROWAN GUNSLINGERS
0-3
3303