For those that dont know Too Serious has an Ashes League going against players from FanFooty Uk. The basis is if you go and play the Fantasy Premier League (EPL) for Too Serious through FanFooty UK and against their members then you qualify to play in the Ashes league which is nine TS members V nine FF members in both Supercoach and Dreamteam.
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Ill be covering the S/C league for the season. Worth noting this league went inside the top 20 leagues last season !!! (And thats with me doing a Relton for the season) so if you think that its a stroll in the park then dissapointment is fast approching as this makes the cricket Ashes series seem like a CWA cake display in comparison !!. FF will be refered to as The Poms, The unwashed, The bath dodgers ect and the Aussies will be names such as The convicts, The ferrals, The toothless. That said this week I will review the players so the good people of TS & FF know whos who.

1: Conningilos - Brogie - FF

Brogie is an Arsenal man. Brogie is in England terms "A northern spud" a bloke that knows alot and says little..............Is said to know what happened to Shergar ???. Dont know if he walks with a limp but is a match hardened coach that can go "left field". As the pykies would say "A sneaky shyt"

2: Devilish Sauce - Mancdave - FF

Dave is a ManU fan. A Supercoach wild card !!. Is reputed to have won leagues before but had a shocker last season. A "Feast or famine" player and a wild man to boot, its been said he scares Schlocky as Schlock knows Dave is a mad bastard. Dave says hes pumped for this year .............Time will tell.

3: Mind of a toy - Yani - FF

Yani is a Derby man. If you listen to Schlock (And a lot do) Yani is the flukiest shyt around won S/C and DT in Pietri league last season ( FFs own leagues ) . Will have excuses when beaten but rather hard to find and pin down with a question when that occurs . Having said that was the winner of the "Pineapple cup" last season in this league...........2nd highest average and never made the top 8 !!! . A hard task master that takes no prisoners !!.

4: SCTBC - Edbull - FF

Edbulls an Everton bloke. A bloke that took 3 baths in 2 weeks and was sent out here to live................He now showers daily and eats REAL meat. Fancies himself as a AFL player but can go AWOL. A lot of people dont know Edbull.......................Maybe theres a reson why ???

5: Fanfooty UK Schlock - Schlock - FF

Schlock a scouse bloke ( Liverpool ) . Yanis sparing partner Yani & Schlock tee of on each others arse like big bad John Daley on a good day with a tail wind !!!. Another bloke that was seen to have too much personal hygine and sent to the land of aplenty to live. Is rumored to suffers from ducks disease but is ok with it ??. Rates himself as a coach, rates everyone else as shyt. Hard as a coffin nail and just as cold.

6: Fanfooty UK Wombats - Slarty - FF

Slarty is a Celtic & Notts County bloke. Scottish .......Rumor is hes a pale blue ranga that sees as much sun as a bat ???!!. A mad cricket fan known as the kilted inswinger ??. Whats a Scottish cricket following kilt wearing ranga know about AFL ????. PLENTY !!! went inside top 20 overall last season !!!. No slouch is our blue ranga !!!.

7: ATX1303 - ATX1303 - FF

Footyfans answer to "Carlos The Jacquel" . Not a lot known here............Been around awhile ...........Even the names a code for something ????. Id tell you more but the idea of getting on the wrong side of this snoozer just doesnt sit well. The idea of a red dot coming through the window because "I know too much" just doesnt appeal to me.

8: Broken Bones - Bones - FF

Bones is a Chelsea & Rangers bloke. Likes a drink (Rangers would do that to you !) . An AFL nut !! . Watches every game, passionate S/C man , takes it to heart when his team goes crap. Word is Broken Bones refers to his kid brother who changed Boness S/C team all around just before lockout one year ?????.

9: Fanfooty UK Viddlelodge- Viddlelodge - FF

Viddle is another scouse bloke. Viddle has part Aussie pedigree so must have some hygine. This snoozer is old school, more effective at finding info than google, is the word. Studies to the nth degree in cold methodical fashion. Rumor is he has hard drives stored in secret locations that the FBI/CIA are interested in ??. Leads Slarty astray regularly !!.

10: Ponytime - Walesy - TS

Walesy is Mr TS ............The downfall is with THAT much going on time for your own team is limited to say the least !!. Couple that to a new born and its all puke and nappies from here on in .
No doubt Walesy will be there or there about through the season ............Word of advice Walesy if you get bogged down Jo might be able to throw 2C worth in (Jo sat inside the top 200 odd for quiet some time last year . A selfless bloke that goes without a lot so the rest of TS benifit.

11: Crossy Crusader - Crossy - TS

A MANS MAN ….A MANS MANS MAN !!. A MANLEY SC Beast that takes no prisoners and plays for wins !!. Will probally start slow but HIS team (Like a good drop of Port) will get better as it ages. Should move through the field in the second 1/2 of the season with a winning streak like Black caviar!!!.

12: Steamshovels - Nedflanders - TS

Ned a veteran performer and an avid Richmond follower ( Presume he enjoys the odd drink ) . Neds no noob and hes no Flanders !!. A harden veteran that can match it with the best of them !!. A math bloke that doesnt let hype cloud his judgment . You better have your "Race face" on when you come up against Ned !!.

13: Armadillos PT78 - Supercoachsuperstar - TS

SCSS is a new player to me. A mad passionate SC and Richmond man. Hot tip with a name like that he better be ...........The Unwashed will be all over it like a rash but got a feeling SCSS is up for it. A man with more front than Myers and more "Bling" than Buddy . One to keep an eye on.

14: Taras Magpies - Fez - TS

Fez a Pies man. Has been round the block more than once. A veteran of SC and wise one at that !!. Does his homework and come lockout will be doing the biz on whoever he plays. A quiet bloke that lets his team do the talking and takes no prisoners. Not out of his league in any company and will figure highly in this league.

15: Brutal Deluxe - Sainters - TS

TS’s equivilant to Jonathon Patton !!. Reputed to have been concieved on SC stats page. Gun recruit has come into Ashes league having been selected from the father / son pick ??. Will trade fearlessly and without regret!!. A real “Loose cannon”. Bookies scratching their heads in regards to odds to give out for “Non dropped” ??.

16:Argonaughts - JB - TS

A Bloods man is JB. Have been to war with this bloke as a team mate from the TS Toos . A loyal and great bloke that is SCs version of "The Velvet Sledgehammer" says few words but always gets a team together that has knockout power !!. Take it from me you wont hear much from JB but you WILL see his results. May not come out of the blocks fast but will be up and about sooner rather than later !!.

17 :Ayeffell UAer - Underachivers - TS

UA the second of the old Toos team and another Bloods man. A loyal and great bloke that Ive been lucky enough to go into battle with. A left field thinker is our UA with a ton of grey matter to boot !!. This bloke makes the Stealth jet look like Las Vegas !!!. Has a knack or stepping up in big games. A bloke that never looses focus of the big picture !!. Will leave opponents scratching thier head.

18: E Leviathans - ELeviathan - TS

ELeviathan the third member of the old TS Toos and also a Bloods man. This bloke has come in late at my expense and Im happy to step aside (The Toos, like the Swans, always put the team before themselves) ELeviathan ran at the pointy end all season last year and is worthy of another shot !!. Another loyal and great bloke that ran very high in overall last season and worthy of the league. An absolute rock and feared opponent. A man that sent the unflappable Binky to a confussed mess over a two week period to claim the silverware in FPL with the use of oover* clever trading and extreme Pshyc out pressure in a game that all though was a foregone conclusion.

So theres the runners and let the blood bath begin. If you want gentleman rules my advice is to go and play cricket as this league is TSs answer to the UFC !!.
You can ask for a pardon................You just aint gunna get it .
All the best coaches.
From Crew.