DING, DING !!! The time has come for the Ashes head to head The Convicts of TS V The Unwashed of FF. Its tiiiimmmmimee !!!!! as 18 of these Supercoach gladiators go head to head for the good name of their countries !!!. Nine Aussies V nine Poms in a no holds barred fight to the death !!!. Wholl come out butchered ??? who will come out unscathed ?????. Time will tell so for a look at this weeks round...........

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1 : Nedflanders - TS V Crossy - TS
The rat cunning of Ned takes on the brute force of Crossy in this all TS affair. Word is that Crossy has spoke to Longmire and informed him next time he makes a late withdraw of one of Crossys players he does so at the risk of Longies wife waking up with a "Horse" head in her bed !!!. Take it the big fella has Mummy in his side ??. Ned not sure weather he should throw this game or not after learning of that.......Ned will choose not !!. Lets face it Ned, like the rest of us, are happy to die for SC !!.

2 : Schlock - FF V ELeviathan - TS
The cold hard brutal Schlock of FF would be happy to play Ele of TS at this early stage. Ele has zigged when he should have zagged but never worry Ele will get it fixed in double haste time but even that wont save him from Schlock inserting the defeat pineapple on him !!. Ele with forethought has dobbed some Vas and got bandages ready !!.

3 : JB - TS V Slarty - FF
The rock that is JB for TS will retaliate for Ele and take it out on Slarty of FF. The Blue Ranga that is Slarty will change out of his kilt when he sees what JB has installed for him !!. Even a Warneesk wrongun wont save the kilted inswinger from the JB onslaught !!. JB to march through this game and to notch the belt at weekends end !!.

4 : Bones - FF V Yani - FF
In the all FF affair Yani and his "Auto fiils" will be pillaged by the merciless Bones !!. Bones takes no prisoners and Yani will suffer directly as a result (Not to mention a jab from Schlock) . Bones to go inside the top 8 and sleep a peacefull nights sleep as a result !!. Yani already working on next weeks trades !!. Move on nothing to see here

5 : Edbull - FF V Sainter - TS
In the match of the round from preseason form the steady Edbull of FF will be out to "Put one in the bank". But its a nervous Ed as Sainter of TS is a young gun whos fearless and whos game is an unknown factor !!. Im picking the young "Not dropped" to do the biz in this one and to have all the troops shaking their heads. Im picking these two to be 8th &amp; 9th after the round as it should be closer than 50 points !!.

6 : ATX1303 - FF V Fez - TS
The wiley Fez for TS will make short work of FFs ATX1303 . Word on the street is ATX is bouncing his changes from a satelight dish via StPetersburg but thatll do sod all to save the day as Fez will pick ATX apart like a swarm of ants on a wounded beetle !!!. Fez could go top of the table with this one !!. ATX of the unwashed will bath after this game as hell feel "Dirty" after Fez has his way !!!.

7 : Walesy - TS V Brogie - FF
Mr TS Walesy will start this one as favorite but dont take FFs Brogie lightly !!. The bloke is hard ball about coach and being a "Northern Spud" makes him dangerous !!. Walesy the most seasoned of seasoned veteran coaches will have the troops readied for war , but war is not a word taken lightly by a "Northener" so this could get ugly !!!!. When the smoke clears expect Mr TS to be still standing !!.

8 : Underachivers - TS V Viddle - FF
FFs Viddle is an mythodical coach that lost his notes when it come to lockout !!!. Hes now fixing the errors of his way and will feel the pain as the merciless TSs UA applies the thumb screws in a cold mythodical fashion !!!. UA is a bloke that gets it done week in week out but Viddle is a coach that through old fashioned research can right the wrongs of yesterday (Unless Slarty leads him astray again !!!). Tipping the wrongs wont be fixed in time for this week but Viddle will be ontrack sooner rather than later.

9 : Mancdave - FF V Supercoachsuperstar - TS
FFs Mancdave is an aggressive coach that also zigged when he should have zagged !!!. TSs SCSS has hit the ground running and should see the big mad Dave blow his stack as SCSS inserts a large defeat TS style !!!. Big Dave to fall behind at the speed of a Beirut window shopper !!. SCSS to challenge for top of the table here !!!.