I wish there was a way to add sound effects to these blog posts, I think it would really enhance the experience.
For starters we have our round 3 score - 1,808 points (there'd be a big metal-on-metal smashing noise right about now!).
Then we look at the round 3 ranking, of 132,743. We must have been one of the worst ranked teams who are actually taking it seriously. I'd imagine the roaring sound of a destructive landslide right about now.
The next two I'll combine - the total score year-to-date is 6,059 and our overall rank is a ridiculous 51,885. I'm sure most of you could come up with your own disastrous sound effects here - I'm imagining a 10-minute long earthquake in a glass and fine china factory.

Alright, lets have a look at the team breakdown, to see how the team broke down.

Defence:
H Shaw 116
A Saad 76
J Gibson 72
J Newnes 72
K McIntosh 64
K Kolodjashnij 52
Bench of A Oxley 97 (emergency) and N Brown 28.
So far so good - its nothing spectacular, but 452 points from the backs at this early stage isn't the end of the world. There was obviously 45 points missed by having KK onfield instead of Oxley.



Midfield:
D Beams 138 - after I whinged about picking him as captain last week when he only scored 73.
S Pendlebury 107 (VC, didn't think it was enough to try loopholing it)
C Ellis-Yolmen 104
I Heeny 96
O wines 76 and an injury!
P Dangerfield 74
A Vandenberg 65
JP Kennedy 61 (C, 122) Clearly the captain selections were backwards, after JPK got 130 last week.
Bench of P Cripps 89 (E), T Miller 86, and J Nelson 43 (E)
I think the suitable sound effect here would be the screams of a woman in the middle of giving birth to a 15 pound baby! So many points missed here that its not funny anymore. We got 782 from our mids, when astute selection could have gotten us 908 (much more respectable and a whole 126 points more!)



Rucks:
T Goldstein 110
N Naitanui 77
Bench of M Cox with 0
Like most coaches, we're still learning about the rucks this year. We can't complain too much about Goldy (but we will anyway!), and NicNat is doing a job, but could be doing a much better one. 187 points isn't to be sneezed at, but we've become accustomed to 200+ points week-in week-out.



Forwards:
D Martin 110
R Gray 73
M Clark 71
C Salem 66
J Bartel 5 (bugger!)
M Bontempelli 0 - there has to be a rule about late withdrawals - there's so much money riding on AFL tips / betting and fantasy competitions these days that the AFL can't keep accepting coaches naming players and saying they're going to be in the team, and then taking them out at the last possible minute... <end rant>
Bench of J Hogan 62 (replacing Bonts), and J McGrath 54.
A lowly 387 points from our forward line. The Bartel injury is unfortunate, and no amount of planning can overcome something like that, but I'm still seething about the Bonts issue. Either way, the sound effect here would have to be the sound of nails scraping down a blackboard, followed by the earth-shattering ka-boom from a Marvin The Martian missile explosion!
The total points missed here was only 49 points, with a maximum total of 436 (again, the injury is unfair in this analysis, but its still missed points).

So all up, instead of 1,808 points, and a 132,000 raking (there's that destructive landslide sound effect again), we could have scored 2,028 and had a ranking near 55,000 for the week. That's by no means exceptional, and we're still not happy with it, but its atleast a little more respectable.

You may have noticed a couple of new faces in our team from last week. We started the week very iffy on the trades, with the majority thinking that no trades was the way to go, although in the end we dropped Blakely (still not playing) for Nelson on the midfield bench, after being too indecisive for Sinclair, and dropping Lamb (now injured) for McGrath on the forward bench, who has ended up also injured. I think that deserves another sound effect - maybe the undeniable noise of a bone snapping in half!

Actually, I just took a look at the AFL injury list - I think its longer than the available player list right now. There's got to be atleast 22 names per team on that list, and some bloody big names at that! (Alright, slight exaggeration...)

So, now its time to join us in the donor forum, to help decide on what to do to right this ship, which injuries we hold and which we dispose of. Most importantly, its time to take all captain selection decisions away from JPK (and Snoz as it turns out too!)

(We need one final sound effect to finish this - or maybe you can all add your own destructively disastrous sound effects to the comments!)