For those who take it way too seriously

Courtesy of @TerryinBangkok


In this, the year of Covid-ball, the FA have had to innovate to survive. The first decision the Board made was to award the Premiership to Gundagai, so @snoz sits on the tucker box, being first past the post.

The second decision, based on the first, was to shift the focus from outright winner to who can make the 8. Much more exciting. Can you believe, in the absence of a Dawson Cup, coaches are scratching and clawing for that vital, but meaningless 8th spot, while older heads are tanking for draft picks. As of R!5 we had:

7. Marble Bar Misfits 32 104.8
8. Birdsville Battlers 32 105.5
9. Wagga Wagga Wombats 32 98.6
10. Whitsunday Warriors 32 98.6
11. Waikik Incorrigibles 28 100.6
12. Lovely Bay Lilacs 28 99.1

So, for match of the round we had the Wombats and the Warriors, both on exactly the same percentage battling it out in the hope of a slip up from the Battlers or the Misfits. Sort of a Clayton’s Essendon, Melbourne or Carlton.
While the Cows are looking down, the Lilacs are looking up. Could @Jen sneak into the 8 and earn the improver of the season title?
Other leagues opted for a bye, but no, in ORFFA too much depends on this. Could there be some final twist in the tail? Might the stewards go back to earlier rounds and discover Covid breaches, causing a shuffling of this delicately poised challenge for Numero 8? Watch this space.

Totted them up myself, so could be mistakes.

Wineglass Bay Packers 454 def. by Foul Bay Chickens 1397
Talk about putting the foot on the throat. Absolutely no mercy from the Chooks as @Tracey struggled with 3 donuts on top of 2 byes. Decimated. Tons sprinkled like hundreds and thousands for the Chooks and Hawkins top scoring with 173.

Lovely Banks Lilacs 1087 def Larrikin Lagoon Lefties 622
There is so much good fresh food to be had...
Apologies for the tardiness folks:

After a new colelctive bargaining agreement has been signed, the ORFFA writers can return from their industrial action to inject some wit, wisdom, insight and a load of general bullshit commentary into the world of ORFFA.

This week it is my turn to review round 14... @JC has reluctantly agreed to do 15, but clearly the natives still have their noses out of joint about having to strike, as there are no indentified individuals to do rounds 16 & 17 (not so subtle request for a couple of volunteers)

THEME: Fantasy Saviour Round

We all know the feeling. That feeling when some normally non-descript performer steps up with a Messiah-esque performance to propel our underperforming bunch of triers to something resembling brilliance. Or maybe just competence, I don't know.

Of course most of the time this is something that happens for other teams, and usually occurs when you are playing those other teams. So let’s celebrate Fantasy Saviour Round with the hope that we all get a God-like performance from one of our chosen 15 this weekend.

Disclaimer: Hope for God-like performance only valid if your bunch of triers isn’t playing my bunch of triers.

Nowhere Else Wanderers V Foul Bay Chickens
Larrikin Lagoon Lefties V Whitsunday Warriors
Wineglass Bay Packers V Charlies Opening Spelunkers
Lovely Banks Lilacs V Birdsville Battlers
Marble Bar Misfits V Waikikamoocow Incorrigibles
Wagga Wagga Wombats V Mount Beauty Uglies
Cradle Mountain Devils V Iron Knob Codpieces
Gundagai Grasshoppers V Venus Bay Vultures
Gariwerd Cockatoos V Nareewillock Nuffers

Byes: Adelaide, Brisbane

Nowhere Else Wanderers 1117 defeated by Foul Bay Chickens 1338
@DaveH might have thought he had a saviour in Steven May (149), but it was to be one of only two tons the Wanderers would post. Ben McEvoy returned to some of his old form to match that with a 146, the Danger with...
This one will condense 3 rounds (14 to 16) and 10 byes into a 17 or 18 day period meaning 22 games (8-6-8) will shape the first 60% or so of the 5 rounds remaining this season.

Watch out for some wacky start times like 440pm for the Hawks and Bombers and some 610pm just a fraction early for the nightly 620pm team announcements.

Good luck all.
Already 5 games in, how is everyone going?

My trade outs were fairly easy decisions this week with both Sicily and Ladhams in my team :(
Who to bring in, though, is always a tough one...
GWS were the surprise package of the 2019 season, having overcome an injury crisis to reach the Grand Final, despite finishing sixth. It was a remarkable and monumental campaign, and although they have yet to hit those heights this time around, the Giants still look on course to make the play-offs. They won three consecutive matches at the beginning of August to put themselves firmly back in contention for a spot in the top eight, yet questions surrounding the future of Zac Williams could prove to be an unwanted distraction in the club's quest to reach the showpiece event for the second consecutive season.

Despite being told by doctors that he may never recapture his 2017 form, Williams returned from a ruptured Achilles last season, and immediately hit the ground running. His blistering performance against the Swans emphatically announced his return to top-level football with an eye-catching 23 disposals at a 78% efficiency as well as nine marks, six intercepts and 489m gained. Predictably, the out-of-contract 25-year old has attracted his fair share of admirers, and a number of AFL clubs are believed to be keeping tabs on the free agent. He is believed to be worth between $600,000 and $800,000 per season, with his flexibility unquestionably helping to increase his value.

Williams is one of two key players who are out-of-contract at the end of this season, and although coach Leon Cameron is confident that the duo will re-sign, the temptation to accept a lucrative deal elsewhere may just prove to be irresistable. GSW have offered the 2013 AFL Rising Star a five-year...
We are underway in what has been dubbed By some as the Festival of Footy.

Post below with your thoughts and questions as we deal with the challenges and opportunities through the initial 4 rounds of the compressed fixture.
The last somewhat normal round for a while.
ORFFA Round 7 Review

A :poop: work week + home learning = the nonsense below. Enjoy, or not, it’s up to you.

Foul Bay Chickens 1163 def by Venus Bay Vultures 1296

The defending champs make it a 3 way tie at the top with a comfortable win over the Chooks, largely driven by a night out from Higgins. Yeo seems to have remembered how to score 100s again so Fitzy may want him to have a chat with Stef Martin, who is struggling big time.

As for the Chooks, the coach who cried wolf again tells us that his team is no good. And at 6-1 and 2nd in points for, who can blame him? They’re clearly going terribly. :p Jokes aside, Selwood’s injury certainly didn’t help the cause and Chief will need to find a replacement for a few weeks at least.

Nareewillock Nuffers 1059 def by Iron Knob Codpieces 1354

About f*cking time says Jimbo, as the Cods snap a 4 game losing streak and easily account for the Nuffers. The Cods midfield group was good and Jimbo got an unfortunate reminder of what he’ll miss from De Goey with his extended stint on the sidelines.

Another 4 digit score will no doubt please the Nuffers coach as the patient rebuild continues. A playing ruck would be welcome, I’m sure, but history tells us you have to pay through the arse for one of those in the ‘FA.

Gariwerd Cockatoos 1217 def by Mount Beauty Uglies 1512

An emphatic victory for the Uglies as they snap their 2 game losing streak in style with a monster score. Not sure if @bama or @HeavyMen will have enjoyed the return to form more, but the Uglies had hundreds all over the park, punctuated by huge days from Gawn and Petracca.

The Cockies were solid, but just couldn’t compete with the onslaught from the Uglies. Sitting in the logjam of teams at 4-3, this week’s game against the Battlers shapes as an interesting one

Gundagai Grasshoppers 1308 def Waikikamoocow Incorrigibles 1247

ORFFA’s highest scoring team moves back to the top of...
This weeks ORFFA round was a "COVID related fixture change hub quarantine round of confusion (and COVID breaches)" and with all three Tasmanian teams winning (I think that’s a first), it’s a clear sign that some of us like nasal swabs more than others. In other news, the Spelunkers are only a game out of the 8!

Nareewillock Nuffers 977 defeated by the Foul Bay Chickens 1446
A general malaise has settled over the training squad at Nareewillock. After having a 50% win/loss record a couple of weeks ago they petri dished up a 3 figure abomination on the weekend… which was not good timing given they were taking on the hormone dosed, cobalt loaden chooks, apparently Blue Eggs are the new Kale.

SPP (107) was a lone hand for the Nuffers, whilst the Chooks has 6 people ton up, and three over 140. The Nuffers valour in defeat probably best referenced by Brad Hill lining up against big Todd in the ruck. Chooks stay undefeated on top but apparently they aren’t very good #sonotshit

Venus Bay Vultures 1035 defeated by the Gariwerd Cockatoos 1094
Cockies move up to 5th after a small abomination in the change room toilets last week was found to be a false alarm caused by Touk Miller after drinking the left over hot dog water. It might prove to be the new miracle remedy as he came out and kicked everyones arse with a 142. So much for mediocrity. @Fitzy ’s guys coughed and spluttered to four figures, with Houston (109) and Yeo (105) holding their own, but a murder of @anthak ’s cockies going bonkers, however JPK 18 was a stain in the crotch of the scorers hazmat suit. Vultures still in the top 3, anyone who thinks they are trash are delusional.

NB: I know crows come in murders but allow me some writers liberty

Iron Knob Codpieces 1210 defeated by the Gundagai Grasshoppers 1416
A different plague at Iron Knob, this one of hopping insects destroying everything in sight. 8 tons meant that even...