TooSerious

For those who take it way too seriously

Tim Kelly bounced back, the other Tim underwhelmed a lot of coaches who brought him in.

Quite a bit of carnage heading into Byes, but those who avoided it could be getting some handy ranking boosts.

Let us know how you went, and how you are placed with the byes now upon us.
Weekly teams including Sunday Squads of 26

Friday nIght

SYDNEY SWANS

B Jake Lloyd, Heath Grundy, Nick Smith
HB Harry Marsh, Dane Rampe, Jarrad McVeigh
C Harry Cunningham, Luke Parker, Isaac Heeney
HF George Hewett, Gary Rohan, Will Hayward
F Oliver Florent, Lance Franklin, Kieren Jack
FOL Callum Sinclair, Josh P. Kennedy, Dan Hannebery
I/C Zak Jones, Nic Newman, Ben Ronke, Ryley Stoddart
EMG Aliir Aliir, Tom McCartin, Tom Papley, Daniel Robinson

IN Gary Rohan, Nic Newman
OUT Tom Papley (Managed), Tom McCartin (Omitted)

CARLTON
B Sam Kerridge, Sam Rowe, Kade Simpson
HB Dale Thomas, Jacob Weitering, Lachie Plowman
C Lochie O'Brien, Patrick Cripps, Cameron O'Shea
HF Matthew Wright, Charlie Curnow, Zac Fisher
F Sam Petrevski-Seton, Jack Silvagni, Darcy Lang
FOL Matthew Kreuzer, Ed Curnow, Paddy Dow
I/C Jed Lamb, Pat Kerr, Liam Jones, David Cuningham
EMG Aaron Mullett, Jarrod Garlett, Nick Graham, Harry McKay

IN Jack Silvagni
OUT Harry McKay (Omitted)

SATURDAY

WESTERN BULLDOGS
B Matthew Suckling, Jackson Trengove, Ed Richards
HB Bailey Williams, Dale Morris, Easton Wood
C Jason Johannisen, Lachie Hunter, Patrick Lipinski
HF Caleb Daniel, Josh Schache, Tory Dickson
F Luke Dahlhaus, Marcus Bontempelli, Billy Gowers
FOL Tom Boyd, Toby McLean, Jack Macrae
I/C Hayden Crozier, Mitch Honeychurch, Jordan Roughead, Roarke Smith
EMG Lewis Young, Tom Campbell, Lukas Webb, Lin Jong

IN Dale Morris, Mitch Honeychurch
OUT Zaine Cordy (Injured), Bailey Dale (Injured)

MELBOURNE
B Michael Hibberd, Oscar McDonald, Neville Jetta
HB Angus Brayshaw, Jake Lever, Jordan Lewis
C Bernie Vince, Jack Viney, Nathan Jones
HF James Harmes, Jesse Hogan, Jake Melksham
F Timothy Smith, Tom McDonald, Christian Petracca
FOL Max Gawn, Christian Salem, Clayton Oliver
I/C Charlie Spargo, Mitch Hannan, Alex Neal-Bullen, Bayley Fritsch
EMG Billy Stretch, Cameron Pedersen, Tomas Bugg, Joel Smith

IN
No Change

HAWTHORN
B Ryan Burton, James Frawley, Ben...
So, this is an actual thing? Selling out stadium naming rights to comic franchises? Guess this should fit in nicely with the proposed re-branding to “Heckle and Jeckle Oval” in Brisbane and “La La Loopsy Arena” in Western Sydney. Not to be outdone, the ORFFA have honoured this marvel-lous occasion with some temporary re-branding of their own.

Lovely Banks Black Widows 977 def by Wagga Wagga Wolverines 1190

Not one to shy away from gender stereo-typing, Jen’s mob have attracted the Black Widow tag due to their dubious femme fetale hijinx over previous seasons which have almost led to the untimely demise of Chris’ franchise on more than one occasion. In this outing, Lenny’s marsupials have merely sharpened their claws for a classic roll in the dirt. The Widows won the donut fight which arguably meant their undoing. Wagga’s new recruits in Richards and Langdon showed some muscle, whilst Plowman carved in to further embarrass their midfield team mates. For the home side, a healthy return from Duncan, Stewart and Heeney wasn’t enough to plug the holes in a mangled web

Cradle Mountain Daredevils 1303 def Ironmen of the Knob 988

The Knob rocked up in Tassie and had barely staggered off the bus when they launched into a Cosmic Psychos classic, “Somebody put something in my drink”.
Punters wept into their bookies tote bags as the visitors shot 400+ in arrears on last week’s score. The ‘devils got their own pipes in tune as Blue Moon was pumped out on high rotation across all lines. Notably, Messrs Gresham, Hopper, Zaha and Lever more than covered the late Seedsman fallout. A long trip home for the Ironmen as Jack murmurs incoherently whilst fighting back nightmares of Carlisle’s bad arm tats.

Birdsville Battle Machine 1051 def by The Thing of Marble Bar 1176

So the jingle goes, “it’s just like an orange soft drink - only crunchy!” The Thing from the Bar found a new lease on life and ground out back to back wins after a couple of narrow...
The Pies, Tiges, Swans, Cats, Bombers and Eagles have won, the Dees are smashing the Crows and the Roos are narrowly leading the Dockers in the 2nd quarter.

SC has thrown up its usual challenges but also some high scores. My plodders managed 2299, with a last minute choice of Gawn as C over Fyfe costing me 2 league matches. How has your team fared ??

As for the poll question - once lockout is over add up your best 22 players season averages and then double your captains score to see what your team should be scoring on a weekly basis
- ie
Def = 110, 106, 104, 91, 84, 79 = 574....Mid = 125, 122, 117, 111, 107, 103, 90, 85 = 860
Ruck = 129, 99 = 228 plus 129C = 357....Fwd = 105, 94, 82, 70, 67, 65 = 483
TOTAL = 2274
COLLINGWOOD v WESTERN BULLDOGS

Friday May 25 at Etihad Stadium (7:50pm)

MAGPIES

IN: Reid, Daicos, Greenwood
OUT: Fasolo, Murray, Wells

BULLDOGS

IN: Schache, Dickson, R.Smith
OUT: Wallis, Dunkley, Webb

RICHMOND v ST KILDA

Saturday May 26 at the MCG (1:45pm)

TIGERS

IN: Higgins, Moore, Menadue
OUT: Townsend, Castagna, Lloyd

SAINTS

IN: Austin, Carlisle, White, McCartin, McKenzie
OUT: Brown, Marshall, Weller, Armitage, Coffield

BRISBANE LIONS v SYDNEY SWANS

Saturday May 26 at the Gabba (4:35pm)

LIONS

Unchanged

SWANS

IN: Marsh, Stoddart
OUT: Mills, Rohan

GEELONG CATS v CARLTON

Saturday May 26 at GMHBA Stadium (7:20pm)

CATS

IN: Ratguolea, Stanley, Jones, Parfitt
OUT: Horlin-Smith, Parsons, Smith, Thurlow

BLUES

IN: Weitering, Cuningham, E.Curnow, C.Curnow
OUT: Mullett, Murphy, Graham, Garlett

GWS GIANTS v ESSENDON

Saturday May 26 at Spotless Stadium (7:20pm)

GIANTS

IN: Kelly, Patton, Buntine
OUT: Finlayson, Keeffe, Cumming

BOMBERS

IN: McGrath
OUT: Clarke

HAWTHORN v WEST COAST EAGLES

Sunday May 27 at Etihad Stadium (1:10pm)

HAWKS

I/C (from): Mirra, Cousins, Henderson, Burton, Schoenmakers, Ceglar, Glass, Langford

IN: Frawley, O’Meara, Glass, Ceglar, Langford, Schoenmakers
OUT: Brand, Worpel

EAGLES

I/C (from): Brander, Cole, Nelson, Ainsworth, Waterman, Hutchings, Ah Chee, Allen

IN: Brander, Nelson, Ainsworth, Allen
OUT: Nil

MELBOURNE v ADELAIDE CROWS

Sunday May 27 at TIO Traeger Park (3:20pm)

DEMONS

I/C (from): Harmes, Spargo, Tyson, Hannan, Garlett, Pedersen, Hunt, Fritsch

IN: Tyson, Hunt, Pedersen, Garlett
OUT: Nil

CROWS

I/C (from): Gallucci, Poholke, Hartigan, Gibson, Murphy, Otten, Milera, O’Brien

IN: Brown, M.Crouch, Milera, O’Brien
OUT: Nil

FREMANTLE v NORTH MELBOURNE

Sunday May 27 at Optus Stadium (4:40pm)

DOCKERS

I/C (from): D.Pearce, Kersten, Sheridan, Nyhuis, Tucker, Giro, Matera, Cerra

IN: Hill, D.Pearce, Kersten, Sheridan, Giro
OUT: Crowden

KANGAROOS

I/C (from): Garner, Hrovat, Davies-Uniacke, Clarke, Zurhaar, Atley, Wright, Durdin

IN: Garner, Hrovat, Davies-Uniacke, Durdin, Zurhaar
OUT: Daw
The Round 9 That Was…….

Strange weekend. Either your boys came good and you went big or there were a few misfires and you fell well off the pace. Here’s how it turned out.

Wombats 1226 def by Codpieces 1390. Vintage Melksham 160, assisted by Sheil with 107. Hurt by sub-par performances from Sicily, Oliver, Gibbs and Swallow. Meanwhile, the team with Jackson Macrae (177) just sits there and counts the money. A poor 55 from GAJ? Who cares. Harbrow turned back the clock (a long way) with 126. But it was the most potent forward line in the ORFFA that cut loose, led by Darling (181), Riewoldt (114), de Goey (111) and Waite (129). Scary stuff.

Misfits 1226 def Lilacs 1111. Misfits made a welcome return to the winner’s circle, despite a Giant’s team still in the doldrums. Tons to Laird, Webster, Fantasia, Haynes and a massive 173 to Jake Lloyd. The Lilacs continue to keep their heads above the 1,000 mark (a good sign) and were helped with tons from Rampe, Duncan and Heeney.

Uglies 908 def by Devils 1304. The Uglies decided to go for all-out attack by fielding only one defender. A failed strategy, despite 103 from Dusty and 121 from Max. The Devils were simply solid without much fanfare. 104 from Lever, 113 from Heppell, 121 from Zork and 108 from Redden. Uglies looking to dig deep in the MSD.

Warriors 1164 def by Battlers 1203. It was a good week all round for the Battlers. After Brisbane got up they drank the Tiki Bar dry and headed back up the Birdsville track with a win under their belt and getting all feely – touchy with the top 4. It was basically Witts effort in Shanghai (129) that made the difference. Despite an offer to trade Ainsworth, @JC would not leave him off the plane. He was helped by McDonald (115), Ryan (121) and Cutler (113). Otherwise JC would have been a bit disappointed by the flatulent effort from his mids. The Warriors provided a bit of a tussle with 115 from Andrews, 105 from Wines, 125...
Like the Bombers, it's been a rough year for my team this year. Also though, like the Bombers, we got ourselves a much needed win this weekend!!

Unlike the Bombers however, we were helped by an un-observant opposition who left a Macrae 177 VC as their VC. mwhahahaha. :D

How have you all gone?
Following nominations we have 54 teams entered into TS ORFF* Knockout Competitions this year. The 2018 format will be quite different this year so hopefully this can explain it fairly simply.

13 teams have qualified for the 2018 ORFF* Champions League between Rounds 7 and 11 (no play in Round 10). 2 further teams have secured a half qualifying spot for the Champions League and will clash in a winner takes all Round 6 Champions League Playoff contest and then enter the Champions League in the Round of 16 in Round 7.

39 other teams will be competing in the 2018 ORFF* Knockout between Rounds 2 and 7, 25 of these teams will have a bye in Round 2 and enter the completion in Round 3 while 14 teams will battle it out in Round 2.

As well as securing the 2018 Knockout title the winning Knockout Grand Finalist will secure an additional Champions League spot and will enter that competition in the Quarter Finals the next week – ie Round 8.

2018 Champions League allocations occurred as follows
- 12 spots based on 2017 League placings - 3 spots to each competition including Premiers and next 2 highest ranked other sides based on 2017 Home and Away ladder position (excluding teams who did not nominate) - ie Sarah Island, Mallacoota, Tarwin Lower, Waikiks, Venus Bay, Marble Bar, Serengeti, Southern Cross, Nuytsland, Mt Thirsty, Drouin, Jan Juc
- 1 spot to the 2017 ORFF* Knockout winners – with Nuytsland winning the 13th direct spot nominally goes to the Vikings and as they had already qualified then Groote Eyland were added as the next highest nominated ORFFU side after home and away
- 1 spot to the 2018 ORFF* Knockout winners (entering at the Quarter Final stage)
- 2 half spots to the 2017 ORFF* Knockout Runners up and 3rd place teams – Rutherglen and Jan Juc. As Jan Juc had already qualified then Neptune Island were added as the next highest nominated ORFFF side after home and away. As above Rutherglen will host...
Friday, May 18

Adelaide v Western Bulldogs at Adelaide Oval, 7.20pm ACST

ADELAIDE
In: K.Hartigan, S.Gibson, D.Fogarty, L.Murphy
Out: L.Brown (general soreness), M.Crouch (general soreness), M.McGovern (ankle), T.Walker (glute)
New: Sam Gibson (North Melbourne)

WESTERN BULLDOGS
In: J.Trengove, E.Wood, J.Roughead
Out: A.Naughton (ankle), L.Young, M.Honeychurch
Saturday, May 19

North Melbourne v Greater Western Sydney at Blundstone Arena, 1.45pm AEST

NORTH MELBOURNE
Unchanged

GREATER WESTERN SYDNEY
In: T.Mohr, H.Perryman
Out: P.Davis (concussion), M.de Boer (hamstring)

Gold Coast v Port Adelaide at Adelaide Arena at Jiangwan Stadium (Shanghai), 3.15pm AEST

GOLD COAST
In: J.Heron
Out: S.Day (suspended)
New: Jacob Heron (Suns Academy)

PORT ADELAIDE
Unchanged

Essendon v Geelong at the MCG, 4.35 pm AEST

ESSENDON
In: J.Ridley, M.Guelfi, D.Clarke, K.Langford, M.Dea
Out: M.Hurley (hamstring), K.Mutch (rested), D.Myers (injured), D.Parish, B.McNiece
New: Jordan Ridley (Oakleigh U18), Dylan Clarke (Eastern U18)

GEELONG
In: T.Hawkins
Out: E.Ratugolea (injured)

Sydney v Fremantle at the SCG, 7.35pm AEST

SYDNEY
In: L.Franklin, D.Hannebery
Out: D.Robinson, D.Towers

FREMANTLE
In: N.Wilson, M.Walters
Out: T.Duman, D.Pearce

St Kilda v Collingwood at Etihad Stadium, 7.25pm AEST

ST KILDA
In: B.Rice, J.Sinclair, J.Lonie
Out: J.Carlisle (concussion), B.Acres (groin), S.Gilbert (thumb)
New: Bailey Rice (Dandenong U18)

COLLINGWOOD
In: A.Fasolo, T.Langdon, S.Pendlebury
Out: D.Moore (hamstring), C.Brown, B.Crocker
Sunday, May 20

Carlton v Melbourne at the MCG, 1.10pm AEST

CARLTON
In: M.Murphy, P.Kerr, J.Weitering, J.Silvagni, M.Shaw
Out: E.Curnow (suspended)
New: Pat Kerr (Oakleigh U18), Matt Shaw (Gold Coast)

MELBOURNE
In: J.Viney, C.Pedersen, J.Hunt, J.Garlett, T.Smith
Out: S.Weideman (injured)

Brisbane v Hawthorn at The Gabba, 3.20pm AEST

BRISBANE
In: B.Keays, J.Walker, S.Mayes, J.Barrett
Out: -

HAWTHORN
In: M.Lewis, J.Cousins, D.Mirra, P.Puopolo,...
Brought to you by the ever-rockin @graeme

ORFFA Round eight –
Rucking hell; farewell to andy, welcome to TTH


Andy is the only ORFFAN I have met; a fun guy for sure. Sometimes we have to be strong and say “right now the real world is more important than the fantasy world.” I hope we all would have the strength to do that. Mate, I am sure you know you are always welcome to drop into ORFFA or Auckland. Stay good andy, hope to see your smiling face soon.

TTH, what a guy – thanks for being willing to step in and help out. For that alone we already recognise you as an ORFFAN. Nice welcome to from the FIXtures committee: “why don’t you play the top of the table Vultures just to get an idea of how easy it will be to climb out of the cellar.” Still there are some tasty draft picks in the MSD to boost the squad and, of course, the internal debate as to whether to rename the team. Hobart Hopefuls? Launceston Losers? Tasmanian Transitions? I am confident you’ll work it out TTH.

I like a theme to run through these missives. This week, every team has to field one. But not every team fields one and yet some teams field more than one. The consternation in our banter threads is one of the constants of ORFFA life. What am I talking about? It should be obvious - rucking hell. Jeez, some of them went big this week. Had some fun with Utube while putting this together, gosh there was some gret music “when I was young” – Eric Burdon and the Animals.

Missings (1220) v Wombats (1261)

The commish was a few short of a team but at least he had a ruck. Ryder (108) comfortably accounted for Lycett (86). However, the west coaster has played all eight games to date while Paddy has only made three appearances so far in 2018. He also has the curse of Gil’s Chinese experiment against him. So, if you cannot separate them on average (Ryder 80.7, Lycett 81.1) would you rather have Ryder’s total score of 242 or Lycett’s total of...