For those who take it way too seriously

It's been a successful season for the West Coast Eagles in many ways, from their impressive run of form since round seven to the way they've handled the pressure as reigning premiers over the course of the entire half and away season. Another real positive to come out of this year has been the continued improvement of many of this team's younger players; in particular, forward Oscar Allen. The youngster, who is capable of playing in a range of positions, has undoubtedly been one of the standout members of his team this season.

A taste of what's to come
The 20-year-old earned the Round 21 Rising Star nomination following a brilliant three-goal showing against the Adelaide Crows, capping off what has been a fantastic season for the Western Australian. Having broken into the team at the end of last season after being selected 21st overall in the 2017 draft, Allen has established himself as a competent, ever-present member of the team this year, scoring 19 goals in 19 appearances as a third tall forward.

Allen's versatility has been highlighted on a number of occasions, with him switching into defence and the ruck, looking well at home whenever and wherever he's been asked to do a job. But it was as a forward where his real season highlight occurred, with Allen kicking the game-winning goal against the Crows at Adelaide Oval in round 10. However, it's been his consistency that has been the real takeaway from Allen's first full season in the team, and the club and fans will be delighted he is contracted until the end of 2022.

What this means for the future of the Eagles
Having come so close to appearing in last season's Grand Final after being placed on standby for Jeremy McGovern, Allen will now be...
ROB, Jelly & Dusty return along with Roughy! Not too many massive outs although Jezza Cameron, Duursma, D Clarke and perhaps Hately might hurt a few with their backups... Good luck to all those still in finals or pushing the leaderboard!

Here's a throwback to the Roughy mullet.

Teams below...

Friday 16 August, 7.50pm at the MCG

B: Hibberd, Frost, Lever
HB: Jones, Hore, Salem
C: Dunkley, Viney, Stretch
HF: C. Wagner, Fritsch, Harmes
F: Lewis, Melksham, Petracca
FOLL: Gawn, Brayshaw, Oliver
I/C: Spargo, Kennedy-Harris, Neal-Bullen, Chandler
EMG: Preuss, Hunt, Lockhart, Keilty
IN: Hore, Stretch, Spargo, Neal-Bullen, Chandler
OUT: Baker (omitted), Hunt (omitted), May (injured), O. McDonald (injured), Petty (injured)

B: Mills, Rampe, Aliir
HB: Lloyd, McCartin, Dawson
C: Heeney, Hewett, Florent
HF: Ronke, Blakey, Papley
F: Jack, Reid, Menzel
FOLL: McLean, Kennedy, Parker
I/C: Clarke, Fox, Bell, Rowbottom
EMG: Amartey, Melican, Stoddart, Rose
IN: Jack
OUT: Jones (injured)

Saturday 17 August, 1.45pm at the MCG

B: Newman, Plowman, Thomas
HB: Setterfield, Weitering, Simpson
C: Murphy, Cripps, O’Brien
HF: Casboult, McKay, Silvagni
F: Fisher, Kennedy, McGovern
FOLL: Kreuzer, E. Curnow, Walsh
I/C: Petrevski-Seton, Dow, Deluca, Gibbons
EMG: Goddard, Phillips, Fasolo, Lang
IN: Kennedy, Dow
OUT: Jones (injured), Lang (omitted)

B: Savage, Brown, Paton
HB: Newnes, Carlisle, Clark
C: Billings, Ross, Hannebery
HF: Hind, Bruce, Steele
F: Lonie, Membrey, Long
FOLL: Marshall, Sinclair, Acres
I/C: Steven, Dunstan, Battle, Wilkie
EMG: Phillips, Rice, Langlands, Rowe
IN: Brown
OUT: Coffield (injured)

Saturday 17 August, 2.10pm at the Gabba

B: Hodge, Andrews, Adams
HB: Witherden, Gardiner, Rich
C: McCarthy, Zorko, Robinson
HF: Cameron, Hipwood, McCluggage
F: McInerney, McStay, Berry
FOLL: Martin, Neale, Lyons
I/C: Christensen,...
A slap-happy, fun-filled first week of ORFFA finals where legends are born and memberships burnt.

The Real Deal

Chooks 1303 deflowered the Lilacs 1215

Cobalt kids keep getting shit done at the business end. Pity it had to be at the expense of the emerging Lilacs. A fit Parish and another ruck and this could have been a different story. Probably hasn’t been said enough, so grats to Jen and her haze of purple upstarts.

Bestest – Danger and Ross
Saddest – Sheppard and Banfield

Devils 1339 ravaged the Codpieces 1239

Super consistent Cradle mountain outfit continue on their merry way with cameos from Pendles, Zorko and Daisy. The luckless and ruckless Knobs ran out of friends despite some highlights from Darling, Clark and retiring Thompson. A fitting tribute post-game as Thompson handed in his battle-weary, paper-thin ‘piece for a diamond encrusted titanium bling thing.

Shining – Zorko and Macrae
Lustreless – Lynch and Harbrow

Hoppers 1140 shat on by Vultures 1186

Have to say this final score nearly brought a tear to my eye. Not sure the Gundagai lads have fully recovered from the great tucker box tumble of 2019. The signs were there early with Grundy clearly still traumatised but the cracks opened right up at half time as the forward line descended into a blubbering mess. Vultures swooped. Game over.

Gluttons – Cripps and Greene
Emaciated – Fisher and Wood

Misfits 1147 embarrassed by Cows 1382

Depressingly for Len, his finals campaign ended about six weeks ago. And Ross Lyon and his Mundy voodoo doll has been just plain cruel. Everyone will be hoping they can pick a cheap can of Fanta during the trade period. The Jekyll and Hyde bovines have kept chels on his toes over the post bye journey but they seem to have landed in a good paddock of late.

Waygu – Macmillan and Dunkley
Wayoff – McCartin and Hibberd

The Who Cares Cup (of Concrete)

Warriors 1153 tripped...
Hi my name is Stripey and I have a trading problem... it's been two weeks since my last trade...

Anyway, courtesy of ROB's omission I officially ate my second donut of the year... a 2,400 saw me rise in the ranking 13 places, now up to 1,092 overall.

Main issue (apart from the obvious need for ROB to return) atm is the injury concern to Rohan Marshall but I have Jezza Cameron on the bench as cover so should be fine for another week.

How is everyone else faring?? Any chance ROB returns, I think Sauce wasnt too bad...
Due to time constraints AFL Teams are not posted this week but for SC the biggest news is ROB is not in the 22 with Cameron from WCE also missing.

Good luck for those of you in SC and ORFF* finals and also those chasing higher overall SC rankings.
Well, its been a long season and with only 3 weeks to go, its time to recap how the TS Trading Games comp is going.... After being the Top Dog for the majority of the season, my daughters team *cough* got overtaken last week and I've fallen further behind... I ran out of trades 3 weeks ago so will be interesting to see how my backup fares... I already have Luke Ryan on the bench and have carried Jelly as well... No more injuries please!!!

It would be good to put some names to some teams.... so pls add in the comments and let us know how many trades y'all have left!

Brought to you by the Hairy Codpiece @jimbowan

ORFFA Fellowship Round

Fellowship Round is a chance for all of us to gather together in the wide white virtual void that is the world wide web (not to be confused with Antarctica, as our white void is far warmer and has far fewer penguins), raise a glass of something to our fellow ORFFA coaches and celebrate the fact that our love for fantasy football brings our lovely band of misfits together each week. All past and present ORFFA coaches are invited to party in the virtual void, with or without penguins.

I am not sure I have much love for fantasy football this year, my actual Supercoach side can go get stuffed, but there is always plenty of love for all in the ORFFA forums, penguins excluded.

What an exciting round! Terry’s mob had to have their game of the year to have a crack at the 8 and fell on their sword and it was over to Jen’s troops to play JC’s crew in a finals deciding match!! Likely one of the most exciting matches in ORFFA history was played in which the Lilacs got it done by a single point to beat the Battlers and lock in their position at 8th! Wow you simply cannot ask for better footy than that folks.

8th LBL 10-7 020680 19725 40

9th WSW 9-8 019639 20088 36

10th BIB 9-8 019538 19348 36

Fellowship Awards

Top scorer of the week – The ‘crikey jingoes good effort award’ – Adam Treloar 177

Worst scorer of the week – The ‘he’s gone missing aka Penguin award’ – Charlie Dixon 19

Top team Score – The ‘he must be cheating award’ - Waikikamoocow Incorrigibles 1493

Lowest team score – The ‘she must be tanking award’ – Wineglass Bay Packers 886

Whitsunday Warriors (988) were Defeated by Marble Bar Misfits (1233)

An uninspiring effort by the Warriors with their season the line.

WW – Ladhams (95) Boak (101)

MBM – GWS three...
Good luck to those playing finals.... except those up against me...

These are the Thursday night teams.... not allowing for gastro related changes to teams!

Friday August 2, 7.50pm at Marvel Stadium
B: Williams, Thompson, Durdin
HB: Macmillan, Tarrant, Pittard
C: Dumont, Ziebell, Polec
HF: Wood, Larkey, Thomas
F: Zurhaar, Brown, Simpkin
FOLL: Goldstein, Higgins, Cunnington
I/C: Garner, Davies-Uniacke, Ahern, Turner
EMG: Anderson, Hrovat, Campbell, Hosie
IN: Thompson, Turner
OUT: Atley (injured), Anderson (omitted)

B: Howe, Frawley, Sicily
HB: Hardwick, O’Brien, Stratton
C: Henderson, O’Meara, Scully
HF: Shiels, Gunston, Nash
F: Breust, Lewis, Puopolo
FOLL: McEvoy, Worpel, Burgoyne
I/C: Birchall, Wingard, Smith, Hanrahan
EMG: Ceglar, Glass, Cousins, Mirra
IN: O’Brien
OUT: Ceglar (omitted)

Saturday August 3, 1.45pm at Marvel Stadium
B: Redman, Hooker, Gleeson
HB: Francis, Ambrose, Zaharakis
C: Fantasia, Merrett, Langford
HF: Parish, Brown, McDonald-Tipungwuti
F: Snelling, McKernan, McGrath
FOLL: Z. Clarke, Shiel, D. Clarke
I/C: McKenna, Guelfi, Stringer, Saad
EMG: Hartley, Myers, Ham, Laverde
IN: Fantasia, McKenna
OUT: McNiece, Laverde (both omitted)

B: Houston, Clurey, Bonner
HB: Hartlett, Jonas, Byrne-Jones
C: Duursma, Rockliff, Amon
HF: R. Gray, Dixon, S. Gray
F: Westhoff, Ladhams, Rozee
FOLL: Ryder, Powell-Pepper, Boak
I/C: Sutcliffe, Broadbent, Butters, Marshall
EMG: Howard, Farrell, McKenzie, Mayes
IN: Dixon, Ladhams, Marshall
OUT: Howard (omitted), Lycett (omitted), Garner (omitted)

Saturday August 3, 2.10pm at GIANTS Stadium
B: Shaw, Davis, Haynes
HB: Perryman, Tomlinson, Stein
C: Reid, Taranto, Keeffe
HF: Whitfield, Mumford, Deledio
F: Finlayson, Cameron, Greene
FOLL: Simpson, Hopper, Daniels
I/C: Williams, Himmelberg, Hately, Hill
EMG: Caldwell, Bonar, Shipley, Idun
INL Stein, Deledio
OUT: Taylor (injured), Lloyd...
Listen up kiddies. Your regularly scheduled reviewer has lapsed into a post-holiday, work-trudgery semi-coma, so you got me instead.
I’m Mrs Walladge, the Goonies tuck shop head of catering.
Think of your stereotypical, 1980’s blue-rinsed, meek and mild, lovable home cook; now picture the exact opposite. I’m the straight-shooting, spade a spade, no fcuks given dragon-lady formerly of Starcourt Mall.
So, shut up, form and orderly queue and take your medicine.

For the uninitiated, here’s the award system I work to:

The Package award (a Double Crumbed Sausage Sanga with a Fruitbox on the side - the gold standard of lunch orders) – to the BOG, the complete game, the gun…you get it.

The Sunnyboy award – to the new kid on the block showing how it’s done.

The Sherbet Fountain award – to the blue-mooner shooting his metaphorical load all over the shop.

The Redskin/Chicco award (or any other PC-unfriendly treat you can think of) – to the bad form bunion in a cringeworthy performance.

Wagga Wagga Wombats 1239 def Whitsunday Warriors 1056

Warriors with a finals berth on the line. Trying to cut my lunch as the chief donut seller. No, you don’t!
Enter the wet sail Wombats to kick sand in everyone’s eyes.

Package – Lycett!
Sunnyboy – Rozee
Sherbie – Setterfield (I fell the need, the need for Teague)
Redskin – Roughead (see ball, get ball…in face)

Package – Boak!
Sunnyboy – Ben King (in the 2s)
Sherbie – JJK (7 straight if you don’t mind)
Redskin – Hitler-esque Tarrant

Marble Bar Misfits 1168 def by Iron Knob Codpieces 1188

Well no one said this game was fair, did they?
With an injury list to rival Collingwood, the Misfits gladly welcomed back Ryder and Weller. But, no matter how sweet it smells, puttying a gaping hole with honey is never a healthy fix.

Package – Daniel
Sunnyboy – Taranto (boy o boy, wowee)
Sherbie – Answerth
Redskin – Laverde

Package – Macrae
Sunnyboy – H Clark
Sherbie – Darling
Well, the finals are upon us if that's your thing... for me its not, I play for overall...

2,457 was good enough this weekend to see me rise 140 places to 1,169 overall... the Ryan injury my main concern...

How is your team tracking, is it all coming together like well laid plans do or is it a complete shemozzle, bouncing from one disaster to the next....