For those who take it way too seriously

In the short post ORFFA life of this fantasy coach I have become nostalgic. What greater nostalgia is represented by the 1960’s to 1980’s Friday and Saturday nights in Australia and New Zealand which were often spent visiting Suburban drive-ins which showed a single, double and in some cases triple bill with families of 6 or 7 piling into domestic made vehicles and clipping on their drive-in movie speakers to watch some wholesome and not so wholesome entertainments. Kids were running back and forth to the concession stands while once it got dark the teenagers in other sections mostly necked and became familiar with their sweethearts in their Datsun 180B or other such stylish younger persons vehicles of the time.

So here is an attempted drive in and movie themed review of both the wonderful week and partial season so far in the ORFFA, apologies for any errors or omissions as my movie buffdom is limited at best and used only for poorly presented thematic purposes, and note of course the upcoming State of Origin and MSD period which now take centre stage while the 18 clubs take a brief hiatus.


Misfits 1425 defeated Hoppers 1209
The match shaped as blockbuster movie with the reigning oscar winners against the powerhouse challengers from marble bar. While the Marvel loving Misfit’s Fans would have been hoping to unwind for a full Avenger’s Trilogy the sole Drive In Offering at Marble Bar is a remake of the 1961 classic Western Movie – The Misfits - Starring Nic Nat (163), and Jake Lloyd (142) from the team of the same name and a cameo from Clayton Oliver (139) from the vanquished premiers, who remain 2nd and amongst the favourites to defend their tile despite the loss to the 3rd ranked side.

Rating - a solid 4.5 stars, a sequel is rumoured to be in the works scheduled for late August

Wombats 993 def by Vultures 1162
This match was poised as another blockbuster with top 4 fortunes in the balance and saw the visitors...
Round 10, Round 10 - so close to MSD redemption (or damnation) yet so far away at the same time.

Anyhoo, here's the review.

Marble Bar Misfits 1322 vs Waikikamoocow Incorrigibles 1300

Waikikamoocow just missed out on causing the upset in high-scoring game against the high-flying Misfits - 22 points the difference in the matchup.

Nine total tons across both teams, but what really stands out is the number of 80+ scores from the squads. So much depth - a fact borne out with each team's high scorer (Nic Nat for the Misfits, Mitchell for the Cows) racking up the points from the interchange bench.

Marble Bar retain third place on the ORFFA ladder with the win, while the Incorrigibles sit a mere game outside the top eight.

Wineglass Bay Packers 1203 vs Iron Knob Codpieces 1127

Tracey's Packers made it four wins from 10 games with another encouraging performance - a 86 point win over Iron Knob.

The youngsters are now starting to make an impact for Wineglass Bay - Ash, Keays, McGrath, Daicos, Weightman and Poulter all notable on the weekend. Liam Baker's 2021 continues to go from strength to strength, while Tom De Koning looks a real find.

Iron Knob would be bouyed by Macrae and Greenwood in the middle, Scrimshaw and Quaynor down back and old man Robbie in the forward line. However coach Jim would be looking for more from the likes of King, Mihocek, de Goey and Riewoldt.

Gundagai Grasshoppers 1482 vs Whitsunday Warriors 1265

The Hoppers bounced along at the pointy end of the ladder, almost breaching the magical 1500 point barrier in a comfortable win over the Warriors.

Clayton Oliver's lazy double ton spearheaded the insect swarm, which more than adequately covered for a forwardline doughnut. The Hoppers' backline notching nearly 450 by themselves.

The Warriors would've liked what they saw out of Quinton Narkle, who joined Kamdyn Mcintosh in scoring 115+. Beyond those two there were plenty of decent scores .... but countering Oliver's...
Sorry about the delay this week folks, stats are up and all is well.

How's about that Oliver hey, reckon he might have a future in this business.
Ahhh Fellowship round… where we raise a glass to our brethren and thank them for their wit, advice, banter and general mateship.

Just like J. R. R. Tolkein in The Fellowship Of The Ring, every year we embark on a quest. 18 coaches all trying to get to that big mountain off in the distance that is the ORFFA premiership.

I’m writing the review this week… all abuse, cajoling and editorial corrections are welcome.

Waikikamoocow Incorrigibles 1146 defeated Iron Knob Codpieces 1058

The Cows come from the land of the Long White Cloud, which served as the stunning backdrop for the movie adaptation of Tolkein’s classic. On the field, the Cows were average, in that they had 10 players score between 70 and 100. That proved to be the difference as Jim’s mob had a few drop into the 60’s, and a donut from Riewoldt didn’t help. The patrons at the Bulls Hit were happy with the win.

Cows: Crouch, Robinson
Cods: Scrimshaw, Greenwood, Darling

Cows: Burton, Hibberd, Orazio
Cods: Quaynor, Nelson, Gibbons, Mihocek

Whitsunday Warriors 1224 defeated by Marble Bar Misfits 1372

The Warriors, when kitted up in their historic war uniform, have been likened to a horde of ugly orcs coming out from the gates of Mordor. The Misfits are a bit of a mishmash of all sorts, but predominantly orange, like Gimli the Dwarf… and smashed through the warriors like Gimli’s axe went through many an orc helm.

Warriors: Boak, Wines, McInerney, Dixon
Misfits: Daniel, Kelly, Hickey, Naitanui, Flynn

Warriors: Cameron
Misfits: Farrell

Charlies Opening Spelunkers 1165 defeated Wineglass Bay Packers 1001

The Spelunkers are true Cavemen like Gollum, and occasionally pop up and come into the light, revealing their pasty white complexions, and fascination for shiny objects. This time they stole a win from Wineglass Bay in another Apple Isle battle. The upper end of the Spelunkers got the job done, with big Lurch Darcy starting to reward the patience of the Commish. Packers improving,...
Courtesy of @TerryinBangkok

Some Mothers do have ‘em.

What a round! Close calls all over the place as coaches did their best for Mum (although for some it was just a walk in the Thomas Jefferson Park). We may have even had a Mum who won (but we don’t need to know about that). Perhaps it is appropriate that Mother’s Day Round proves to be season defining.

First cab off the rank was the annual Pinot (& mushroom) Cup with the sunny isles hosting the golfing, bridge playing pig hunters. Whitsunday Warriors (1233) rose to the occasion with their best score of the year, with both defenders and forwards rampant for Mum. But it was not good enough for the Waikiks (1243) who had Mitchell (147) and some other useful bodies in the guts. That’s where it counts. So that was our excitement for this season and @graeme returns home retaining cup in hand. If Dusty didn’t have to quarantine, then the doyen of the Bull’s Head Tavern should be okay.

The return to form of de Goey (118) was enough for the Iron Knob (1145). Just. If you dig down into it, the Spelunkers (1027) were huge in the middle with the Bont (155) and Zerrett (131), but stuffed it up completely with a donut and a p-poor effort on the bench. Even heroics from Darcy were not enough. Frustrating.

Snoz is always going on about math. Maybe he has something. Let us see now. 90 – 27 = 63. Right? And 1341 – 1325 = 16. Right? Perhaps @Len knows what I’m talking about. Job security for Leon Cameron would not be good if he did that. So, the Misfits (1325) went down to the Chooks (1341). The Misfits had a clear edge in the middle, but the Chickens excelled on the forward line. I would like to say that this game requires concentration, but then I concentrate like hell every week and it does me no good.

Clearly Lenny didn’t get the memo about it being Mother’s Day. Packers (1063) went down to the Wombats...
The flying start to the 2021 AFL season shows no signs of slowing down for Melbourne, although they had to survive an almighty scare in the derby encounter with North Melbourne, who led the fiercely contested Round 7 duel at half-time.

Despite being bottom of the ladder and without a single win, North Melbourne looked ready to inflict the first defeat of the campaign on their much-fancied rival, heading into the interval with an advantage of 19 points. However, there was no denying an under-strength Melbourne side, who already had Jack Viney absent and then lost Adam Tomlinson early in the game.

The Kangaroos were full of bounce in the first half, putting in what looked to be their best
shift of the season. The highlight for North Melbourne was a classy display by midfielder
Ben Cunnington, who eventually played all four quarters. He registered 34 touches, 8
clearances and 2 goals, yet that excellent performance wasn’t enough for his team in the end.

Rediscovering their inner fire, the Demons turning an already fascinating battle into a six-goal third quarter, as the Kangaroos quickly lost their grip on the game. The keys to unlocking the rival team were defender Christian Salem and ruckman Luke Jackson, while marksman Bayley Fritsch booted six goals.

North Melbourne remained in the fight for points throughout the second-half confrontation, yet there was no stopping Melbourne, who showed the extra quality and class needed to dominate the remainder of the game. That said, the final winning margin of 30 points was perhaps a little misleading for the Demons, given the Kangaroos deserved more for their efforts.

Following the joy of victory for the Demons at the weekend, they were struck with bad news regarding key defender Adam Tomlinson, after he suffered a knee injury in the...
This is not my finest work, and I still have issues typing so please pretend there are no typos :p

Waikikamoocow (1421) vs Wagga Wagga (1002)

Cows came play, Wombats came to party..

It’s never going to be easy to beat a team with 5 players scoring over 120, Menegola 152, Dunkley 148, Parfitt 135, McGovern 130 & Fyfe 125 combined to pretty much seal the deal against a Wagga side playing a man down. Smith and Lycett stood out for Lenny who will be hoping Ridley only misses the one game and a few mids get games.

Graeme now sitting 7th with a 3/2 record with scoring returning to the more imposing type

Lenny copping his first loss with a very uncharacteristic low score for R5 will be hoping for a bounce to hold onto or advance his 5th position on the ladder

Nowhere Else (1149) vs Foul Bay (1303)

Wanderers had a highly credible 6 centurions but lined up two short with half a numpty in ruck, the Chooks had just the one big score with Ziebell’s 148 but a good even score across the rest, full compliment of players and depth in reserves highlighted the respective current status of the two squads.

Foul Bay sitting at 4 and 1 and looking certain to play & impact finals this year, aiming to prove you don’t need a team of champions to win, more a champion team.

Nowhere Else are coming out of the rebuild phase, desperate for a playing ruck and a few more games into the youth, whilst 0 and 5 they would have beaten 7 other teams this week.

Cradle Mountain (1345) vs Charlie’s Opening (1272

Tassie Titans Clash – Would hardly have been a believable playbill but with the cavemen finally emerging from their long cold winter that was how it played out. The Devils were best served by Rich, Lever, Steele, Redden, Nank and Zorko, for the Spelunkers Duggan, Bont, Merrett, Brayshaw and Darcy were highlights but Dean had a superior supporting cast and took the points.

Cradle Mountain are sitting 8th with a WLWLW pattern, very binary group that, will play...
There is something irresistible about a team that has a gung-ho approach to winning a game. Whatever sporting code it may be and however tribal the feeling of animosity towards even the most hated rival is, one can’t help but admire a team that puts on a show. That is the Westen Bulldogs in a nutshell at the moment having come out the traps flying in the new AFL season.

Indeed, much to the surprise of most AFL fans, the Doggies have made it three wins from their opening three games. Whilst it may be too early to say if this form is here to stay or it is merely a case of the Bulldogs riding the crest of a wave, everyone has been thoroughly entertained regardless.

Having said that, perhaps it is slightly unfair to suggest that it is purely momentum that is keeping the Doggies going at the moment given that they are at just 8/1 in Aussie Rules betting to win the 2021 Grand Final.

Additionally, the Bulldogs have just come off the biggest win in the history of the club after tearing North Melbourne apart. There’s a good chance that Good Friday will from now on be remembered as Great Friday by the Western Bulldogs after they beat the Kangaroos by an unprecedented 128 points.

It’s worth noting that North Melbourne have their own set of very real problems to deal with this season. A string of injuries and a defence that is shipping points at an alarming rate will give many frequent goers to the Marvel Stadium sleepless nights. In reality, the overwhelming evidence suggests that it's going to be a long season for the Kangaroos having lost all three opening games but even still, they ran into a team that will put many to the sword in a similar fashion this season.

The footy on display from the Bulldogs was simply sublime and much of that was done to Josh Bruce....
Round 4 in the ORFFA saw a couple of close contests, including a tight tussle for the Mark Seaby Memorial Trophy. Some words below that may or may not tell you how your team went this week….

Nowhere Else Wanderers 996 def by Waikikamoocow Incorrigibles 1304

The Cows curb stomped the undermanned Wanderers in a very one-sided affair. I shudder to think what the margin would have been if Nat had brought his kicking boots – 0.6 is potential coach killer material! I’m sure Graeme was relieved that Brad Crouch remembered what he’s supposed to do when he sees a white line. One short and one of many with half a ruck, it was a difficult weekend for the Wanderers. A ton from new recruit Powell was encouraging, though.

Wagga Wagga Wombats 1333 def Cradle Mountain Devils 1277

Lenny’s boys stay undefeated in a high-quality contest against the Devils. The Wombats got an even effort across the board to back up a strong midfield performance. The Devils didn’t do a lot wrong and had plenty of contributors, but the coach would be hoping for a bit more from the forwards.

Foul Bay Chickens 1170 def Birdsville Battlers 1161

Well, Chief, spitting in my face with your two playing rucks was uncalled for but, let’s be honest, I’d have done the same if I could. This one was closer than it usually is between these teams, but the status quo remains, and the Battlers are still shitter than the Chooks. Granted, half a ruck and a 3 for Luke McDonald sting in a 9-point loss – but as my 9-year-old self used to say, look at the scoreboard loser.

Charlies Opening Spelunkers 1267 def Mount Beauty Uglies 1238

Won’t lie, read this one a few times before I convinced myself it was right. A good team effort from the cave dwellers, including six tons, may have pleased the coach - but it’s hard to know with the tankers, isn’t it? Tough loss for the Uglies who slump to 1-3. Just not enough support for Petracca and Gawn this week. A bit concerned I may incite the wrath...
Big round for trade decisions - assuming a lot of owners have Young, and already had to burn 2 trades on Danger and Rowell, maybe even Caldwell. Do you still have room for correction trades?

Some more rookies named this week:
Will Martyn, Richmond, MID, 123,900
Rhyan Mansell, Richmond, DEF, 102,400
Beau Mccreery, Collingwood, FWD, 117,300
Lachlan Jones, Port Adelaide, DEF, 139,800

Not tremendous job security; seems Mansell is in for McIntosh. Richmond still have Riley Collier-Dawkins not getting a game too and McIntoch and Prestia shouldn't be out too long, so not sure I'd trust getting 3 games out of these guys but something to monitor.
McCreery could be an interesting one as not many guaranteed starters in that Pies side...
Will Jones keep his place in that strong Port squad?