For those who take it way too seriously

This week's round sees the same matchups as Round 12 in 2016

teams currently in the ORFFF top 8 in bold

Neptune Island Noahs (6-1) vs Jan Juc Ducks (4-3) - 2nd vs 6th on the table and doubling up as 3rd place in the ORFF* knockout and 2018 ORFF* Champions League qualifier
Useless Loop Virgins (6-1) vs Walpole Woylies (4-3) - The first of this weeks derbies sees the big improver Walpole take on a Virgins side which is is flying under the radar and will pretty much wrap up a top 4 spot if they can move to 7-1.

Macquarie Island Whales (4-3)
vs Nangkita Bucks (4-3) - Both these sides lost last week and will need to win this match to remain in the 8, while last time they played the margin was a heart-stopping 7 points (5th closest in ORFFF history) in a 1139-1132 slugfest, Mac Island achieving the 8th lowest winning score in ORFFF history.

Cockburn Avengers (2-5) vs Mt Thirsty Boozers (5-2) - Cockburn are now on a 4 game losing streak for the second time in their club history as they sit 13th. Coach @Len will no doubt point out that last time the team were at this low ebb they then responded with a huge form turnaround to narrowly miss the ORFFF top 4 in 2016. I am expecting a fightback but Mt Thirsty will start strong favourites.

Rutherglen Fugitives (6-1) vs Mole Creek Glow-Worms (0-7) - Stef Martin up against his old side. Rutherglen could quite possibly play their 2nds and still win this one. Chalk up #9 in a row for the Glow-Worms while the Fugitives take on Nuytsland in the ORFF* knockout Big Dance looking to secure the club's first ever silverware.

Heard Island Shags (3-4) vs Drouin Dropbears (3-4) - The 4 teams on 3 wins clash this week with the battle deep in the Southern Ocean the first such. Drouin...
Rutherglen smashed Neptune Island and Nuytsland eased past Jan Juc to set up a clash of the current ORFFF and ORFFU ladder leaders in the Grand Final.

Home/Away/Team Records and Points Scored in 2017

Match 63 - aka the Big Dance
Rutherglen Fugitives ORFFF (6-1, 9567) @tyze1 vs Nuytsland Vikings ORFFU (5-2, 9390)
- FF sides hold a 5-4 Head To Head record against the FU, which the Vikings can square at 5-5 and take the H2H on countback if they are good enough to take out the title
- Rutherglen finished a very, very, very unlucky 9th in their debut ORFFF season in 2016 folowing a staggering amount of losses by under 50, they recruited strongly trading youth and draft picks for established SC guns and after a Round 1 disaster scoring 1180 points the Fugs have notched 6 league wins on the trot at an average of 1406 pts while winning 5 knockout games on the side
- Unrecognisable from the rabble who won 6 games combined in 2014 and 2015 Nuytsland are poised to become a powerhouse of the ORFFU in 2017 and @bryzza has a side capable of bringing the Fugitives to justice and showing all fantasy coaches that their rebuild dreams can come true
- its #1 vs #3 on point scored in 2017 standings across the 70 ORFF* teams, so sit back and be prepared to be entertained by a titanic Grand Final clash
- good luck to both the coaches, their players and of course the fans and sponsors of the 2 participating clubs

How they got here - Rutherglen
Rd 3 - Rutherglen Fugitives ORFFF 1376 def Warburton Wanderers ORFFL 1244 (132 points)
Rd 4 - Venus Bay Vultures ORFFA 1352 def by Rutherglen Fugitives ORFFF 1472 (120 points)
Rd 5 - Foul Bay Chickens ORFFA 1314 def...
Proudly penned by graeme.

Round 7 – aka the Walesy Appreciation Round, you rock Chief

The FIXture Committee served up some fine match ups – in particular the under rated Whitsunday Warriors hosting the second placed Cradle Mountain Devils, and recent winners, the Nunawading Nuffers, against the so called easy beats, the Larrikin Lagoon Lefties. Tasty fare indeed, especially as the latter game could have been subtitled “the nascent” v “the subjugated” (did I mention you might need a dictionary to follow what follows.)

In the reviews that follow your scribe has affixed an * to the team he predicted to win. To put this into perspective as a multi bet the nine favourites in the afl this week were offering a payout of $12.34 for a $1 bet. I have it on good authority that for ORFFA members ChiefBet™ would have offered slightly better odds. The ** denotes what I thought would be the upset, if there were to be one, by the rapidly improving, and far better looking, Packers.

So what happened? In the physical games upsets abounded – CR’s grin was visible across the Tasman. Was it the same in our synthetic games?

Charlies Opening Spelunkers (1091) v Venus Bay Vultures* (1022)

a doddle, a walk in the park, a cruise, a …; insert your own apothegm here. Fizzy has developed a keen sense of satire as evidenced by this post: “Bit unlucky/silly from me, remembered I had Beams in the midfield even though he was out, but wasn't online at the time and figured I had O'Meara emergency anyway... now hearing that O'Meara is very likely to be a late out today, here's hoping a donut doesn't cost me a win.” Unfortunately, it was pair of donuts with Jobe also out. Have we seen the first weakness in the favourite for the title? Or was “the kid” subtly tanking for a better MSD slot?

That after Docherty (103), Yeo (125) but before – well not much . The undergrounders...
Got the fright of my life this week, just after lockout, I got a call from a mate asking me if I knew that Port and the Suns had a bye this week.

Now, I *knew* that they didn't, but in that moment, my heart sunk. What, how could I have missed that I wondered? I'm gunna be swimming in donuts I

Anyways, it didn't take too long to cotton onto the fact that I was being wound up, but it did get me to thinking- with all the rookies missing thus far, it might be tough.

Thankfully, Nank should be back by then to cover for Witts/Butler, but with 4 trades remaining between now and then, it's probably time to consider your plans- then the actual byes behind them!

Anyways, onto this week. I actually had a good one this week, with a 2160. About 100 above par I reckon.

Captain Rocky lead the way beautifully with his 148, and some stud performances from Hanners, Witts and Yeo rounded it out. Thinking though that it might just about be time to cut WHE. He's made some good dollars, but his roller coaster ride is getting awful close to de-railing I reckon!

How'd you all go?
I feel like I'm saying this every week, but there are some nasty outs this week!

Annoying, there's not many ins to make up for it!

St Kilda v GWS Giants

Friday May 5 at Etihad Stadium (7.50pm)

B: J.Geary, N.Brown, J.Webster

HB: J.Newnes, J.Carlisle, D.Roberton

C: N.Riewoldt, J.Steele, L.Montagna

HF: J.Gresham, J.Bruce, J.Billings

F: D.Minchington, T.Membrey, J.Sinclair

FOL: B.Longer, S.Ross, J.Steven

I/C: B.Acres, S.Gilbert, K.Stevens, N.Wright

EMG: T.Hickey, P.McCartin, D.McKenzie

IN: N.Wright

OUT: M.Weller

B: Z.Williams, A.Corr, H.Shaw

HB: A.Kennedy, P.Davis, T.Taranto

C: N.Wilson, C.Ward, T.Scully

HF: S.Johnson, R.Lobb, M.Kennedy

F: D.Smith, J.Patton, J.Cameron

FOL: S.Mumford, J.Kelly, D.Shiel

I/C: H.Himmelberg, S.Coniglio, J.Hopper, A.Tomlinson

EMG: Boer, D.Simpson, H.Perryman

IN: P.Davis, S.Congilio, H.Himmelberg

OUT: S.Reid, N.Haynes, T.Greene

North Melbourne v Adelaide

Saturday May 6 at Blundstone Arena (1.45pm)

B: M.Williams, R.Tarrant, E.Vickers-Willis

HB: L.Hansen, S.Thompson, J.Macmillan

C: N.Hrovat, B.Cunnington, K.Turner

HF: T.Garner, B.Brown, M.Wood

F: J.Anderson, J.Waite, S.Higgins

FOL: T.Goldstein, J.Ziebell, S.Gibson

I/C: L.McDonald, R.Clarke, T.Dumont, S.Atley

EMG: B.Preuss, C.Wagner, D.Mountford

IN: J.Waite, R.Clarke

OUT: A.Mullett, J.Simpkin

B: L.Brown, K.Hartigan, J.Lever

HB: R.Laird, D.Talia, J.Kelly

C: B.Smith, R.Douglas, R.Sloane

HF: D.Mackay, T.Walker, T.Lynch

F: C.Cameron, J.Jenkins, E.Betts

FOL: S.Jacobs, B.Crouch, M.Crouch

I/C: C.Hampton, R.Atkins, A.Otten, W.Milera

EMG: R.Knight, T.Menzel, R.O’Brien


Collingwood v Carlton

Saturday May 6 at the MCG (2.10pm)

B: J.Howe, B.Reid, T.Goldsack

HB: J.Smith, L.Dunn, B.Maynard

C: S.Sidebottom, S.Pendlebury, D.Wells

HF: J.De Goey, D.Moore, W.Hoskin-Elliott

F: A.Fasolo, M.Cox, J.Elliott

FOL: B.Grundy, A.Treloar, T.Adams

I/C: L.Greenwood, T.Phillips, J.Crisp,...
Chooks 1128 def by Battlers 1157

An unexpected loss sees the Foul Bay scratchers downing a pint of reality.
The young, rebuilding Battlers beat up on what is normally a stellar mid-field with Blakely tagging like a pimple-faced teenage nightfill. With Birdsville’s defence choking the cockadoodle out of the chooks forwards, an upset was looming. Finally, in what arguably summed up the Chooks weekend, Mumford blinded by flea dust, accidentally tackled team mate Libba and had him seeing stars like a bad Foghorn cartoon.

Spelunkers 1032 def by Hoppers 1228

In a season where the sophisticated interface that is ts leagues has flommoxed the most savvy campaigners, Bandit’s Troggs woke up to Groundhog Day. Bont (141) and BigBoy (125) played out of their skins but were no match for the slap-happy Hoppers.
Eternal patience and smart trading has snoz giggling like a fat, rich locust on Viagra. Rocky was down but Neale (124) and Adams (120) steadied the ship supported by a solid forward line turnout.

Welcome to the sunshine snoz, hopefully you left me some decent wine downstairs.

Packers 1079 def by Nuffers 1241

In what was billed to be a tight contest, the Nuffers snapped out of their celler-dwelling funk to bring the noise to a sleepy Freycinet outfit. The Nuffers engine room still spluttered along but Simmo and Charlie drooped a couple of circa 150s to carry the can. Sloane continues on his brownlow-fancied form at the Bay while ANB and Matera revert back to their historic mean. Under performance was the story of the match for the Packers as many an old dog fell flat with barely enough zip to lick the Nuffers boots.

Lilacs 1065 def by Vultures 1376

Throughout a weekend of mid-field mayhem, the flag favourites reinforced their strength across the board as they comfortably dismantled the Purple Haze. With a rock-solid defence lead by Doc (149) and killer forward set up (Yeo 150) the Vultures we able to quickly putty over the sub-par...
Man, this season hey? Another week, another horror! And it's only round 6!!

Nank, Rocky, Beams, Fyfe, Captain Dangerfield- it's been a disaster!

Heck, I had Doch's 149, Yeo's 150 and WHE's 125 and still barely cracked 2k.

Man, looking around the grounds, I might have even gotten above par with that rubbish!

What is going on this season!? :D Anyone do well this week?
Ok, this week is more like it.

Teams over the break.
Ok, so 2200 - 2300 seems to be about par this week. Not bad considering the carnage we've seen at the rookie level.

Stats will probably be late this evening as I won't get much of a chance to get on for the next few.

How have we all gone?
Round 4 was International moment of laughter day round in the ORFFA.
Read over for the review....