For those who take it way too seriously
The great Allan Jeans famously compared footballers to sausages - "You can fry them, grill them, bake them ... but they're still footballers. And while we don't condone the frying, baking or grilling of footballers here in the ORFFA, we do condone the baking of spuds. Especially those fantasy football spuds who score abysmally and cost us our weekly match-up. They definitely deserve a good bake.
Normally when the spud round comes around, we stare off dreamily into the Supercoach past and remember the not so lofty accomplishments of players like the Relton Roberts of the ORFFA. But this year looking to dull things down a bit Iv’e decided to focus on actual spuds. How can you not after reading the above quote? It makes me hungry! Did you know there are over 4000 varieties of potatoes?! Amazing Ha? I know you are all amazed, and with that I offer you the strangest round review ever.
Venus Bay Vultures (1198) sliced by (1309) Whitsunday Warriors
When I think of Fitzy I cannot help but think of him as a German Butterball Potato- irresistible flavour and very good yields (which have translated over to supercoach)
Of course, Terry just screams “I am a Purple Congo Potato” Even though one could argue Thailand and the Congo aren’t actually that close topographically. But it’s got a real feral and dangerous undertone, and Terry being a Port supporter is an ideal fit!
Game Recap – The WSW power triplet of Callum Brown, Jarrod Lienert and Rory Lobb were enough to overcome the poor showing from the VBV forward line and the aforementioned Lobb gave Stefan Martin an absolute bath in the ruck to the tune of 128v66
Spuds – (VBV) Beams (0) Entire Forward Line (47-64) Martin (66) -V- (WSW) Cameron (29) JJK (56)
Yummy Hot Wedges – (VBV) Houston (125) Gaff (109) Yeo...
Some bigger score around the leagues.
Anyone affected by Chris Scott’s triple cross?
Well done anyone who picked Oliver! Gutsy move.
How did you fare? What was your captains choice? What’s your plans?
Tonight, Travis Boak plays his 250th game.— FOX FOOTY (@FOXFOOTY) May 3, 2019
Back in 2012, Port Adelaide was "on its knees" and Boak was in demand. Then Boak made a "stand" with a show of loyalty that helped turn the club around - and define his legacy at Alberton, via @AnnaHarrington: https://t.co/NuAjjetL49 pic.twitter.com/e8r2FL9t4l
Boak had the opportunity to leave Port Adelaide back in 2012. After five seasons with the club, he was understandably attracting interest from elsewhere, with the Cats reportedly making an approach for the then-22-year old. However, Boak opted to stay loyal to the Power, signing a new contract with the club amid ongoing financial turmoil. The temptation to join Geelong could have proved too much for the midfielder, who could have been wooed by the possibility of a move back home, but after much deliberation, he opted to put pen to paper on a new deal in Port Adelaide.
At the time, Boak was averging 0.6 goals per game, and around 12.4 kicks per match. During the 2011 season, he notched 458 disposals across the campaign, and had already outlined his importance to the side on many occasions. Those numbers have since risen, with an impressive 19 goals throughout the 2018 season, as well as making a crucial 94 tackles.
Port Adelaide co-captain Ollie Wines lavished praise upon his team-mate ahead of his forthcoming milestone calling him...
Whitsunday Warriors 1180 def Wineglass Bay Packers 1073
The Wineglass Bay scenic shuttle was well overbooked this weekend, as passengers were so plentiful, they outnumbered the healthy folk. Mr Hewett can be thanked for single-handedly getting the visitors into 4 digits.
Rubberneck Packers – McKenna, Collins, Scully, Matera, Reid, Lynch, Stretch
For the home side, only a minor stain in an otherwise mediocre performance.
Grubby Warriors – Gray, Wines, Tarrant (and probably JJK cos he’s still half of what he should be). Props to Jezza who’s having a career year.
Charlies Opening Spelunkers 980 def by Venus Bay Vultures 1206
The hosting Spudlunkers were even more putrid than normal as the Vultures pecked the cotton-pickin life out of them. Oh Bont was ok.
Cotton-picked Troggs – Bonner, Atkins, SPS, Florent, Higgins, Fritsch, Merrett, Williamson
The visiting Vultures were not immune to regurgitating all over their team mates, just well disguised by some return to form of Gaff, Yeo and Stef.
Yaked on Vultures – Howe, Walker, Fiorini, Beams, Hogan , Daniher
Bring on the MSD so both these teams can load up on more junk.
Mount Beauty Uglies 1002 def by Larrikin Lagoon Lefties 1025
Must be some sort of divine intervention that I get to pen the review for my solitary win for the season (nothing to do with the fact I swapped duties with Len a week ago).
To be honest, when a team a shite as the Lefties gets a win, its gonna be hard to sort the chaff from the chaff. But here goes.
Fistful of SFA Lefties – Brayshaw, Berry, Clark, Ruck dept, Coach
With a 3-3 win loss record heading into this game, the Uglies were staring at a probable victory, unfortunately their absentee list is...
Teams form is a week to week proposition at the moment, whilst some others injury lists are getting rather long - hope you dodged that bullet.
That curse of the late change strikes again - looking at you Chris Scott.
How did your team go, did you nail the Cpt this week, any issues you need to address and who is a must trade (in/out) for your team this week?
And is Daniel Caleb the new Ram Man?
Don't Wait, Shop Early!
Does anyone rate a player who hasn't played yet but its only a matter of time before they break into an AFL team (eg: Ben Cavarra seems to be on the mend and played last week or Marc Pittonet who had 12 clearances, 29 disposals, 42 hit outs and a goal)
Warning for those with Rookies from the Tigers. Shai Bolton who was dropped last week and racked up 26 disposals, 17 contested possessions, 11 tackles, eight clearances and seven inside-50s.
Mid Season Draft - Ben Kennedy had 19 contested possessions for Williamstown’s and looks likely to be picked up again.
AFL Players In The Mix
AFL Injury List Updates
- Collingwood's Cox ruled out (ankle), Ben Reid a chance
- Wow Wee Orazio Fantasia and Devon Smith to only pass fitness tests.
- Josh Kelly signs 2 year deal wit Giants - will he play better now?
If your trades are not going to be playing (at least 2 games) during the byes, don't pic them!
They must either ripen up to cash in or simply must be playing. So what’s your strategy. Do you have a plan?
If you Fail to Plan then you Plan to FAIL!
The Cavemen got well and truly stuffed by @TerryinBangkok ’s forward line. Boak, Cameron and Gray of the Sam variety went nuts on my depleted backline with 2 out of position defenders proving easy pickings. Everywhere else it was potatoes for both sides.
Not a bloody ton anywhere from my mob, and whilst the fans are disappointed, the match committee are delighted. New draftees Tarryn Thomas and Sydney Stack are showing a bit. For TiB, his focus will be on trying to breathe some life into his midfield and defensive lines.
Wineglass Bay Packers 1153 vs Mount Beauty Uglies 998
@Tracey notches her first win for the season, and just as @HeavyMen gives @bama a new contract, it all goes to shit. Wilson, Stretch and the returned Mummy all went large for Tracey. The Uglies’ forward line needs to get into the room of mirrors and stare down a pissed off @HeavyMen
Venus Bay Vultures 1265 vs Waikikamoocow Incorrigibles 1226
Match of the round and a battle between two of the flag favourites. The more optimistic within our rank would say scoring was hampered due to the quality of the opposition, I say it was just a shit game. 1267 without Buddy and a tight in the butt Simpson isn’t a bad score I guess. @graeme shifting his focus to Stamford Bridge in the hope his blues can get the last Champions League spot.
Larrikin Lagoon Lefties 821 vs Birdsville Battlers 1148
@JC gave a brief review last week, and this match didn’t conjure up much in the way of content. Birdsville had the bye, and the players treated it as such.
Gariwerd Cockatoos 1564 vs Nareewillock Nuffers 1040
@anthak steps up and gives @TheTassieHawk an arse kicking of mammoth proportions. 9 tons and only one score under 80… not bad for a team in...
Did anyone bye pass Grundy, Gawn and Neal for Cripps? Who couldn’t find a loophole?
Who surprised? Who Sucks? And who is on the chopping block?
Are you trading up or down this week?
Let the trades begin!!