TooSerious

What an emotional weekend of football!

Stats will likely be late as AFL Fantasy need to update their Geelong/Crows game manually. Will hopefully get the stats up before bed though.

<div id='yui_3_16_0_1_1436139171287_5328]St Kilda has today sensationally sacked its coach, Alan Richardson, for not meeting the board's low expectations.
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<div id='yui_3_16_0_1_1436139171287_5408]St Kilda board chairman Faceless Manstein made the announcement at a snap press conference held at the Linen House Blanket Fort this morning.



'Look...[span class='yiv9222949605026175903-24062015]We were crystal clear about our vision for the club when we hired Richo' said Manstein
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<div id='yui_3_16_0_1_1436139171287_5406]'He knew full well his job was to underachieve... We're not about to let the likes of him potentially ruin 100 years of club tradition.'
<div id='yui_3_16_0_1_1436139171287_5404]
<div id='yui_3_16_0_1_1436139171287_5396]The impact of the clubs unexpected upward trajectory is being felt across all aspects of the club.

Saints Marketing Manager, Allison Hotbroad explains:

'It's horrible, we're totally unprepared. We've run out of merchandise... aside from the commemorative Clinton Jones ashtrays.'
<div id='yui_3_16_0_1_1436139171287_5394]The Saints have also been forced to airlift emergency supplies of Josh Bruce Bobble-Heads to Moorabbin, in a desperate attempt to satisfy demand.
<div id='yui_3_16_0_1_1436139171287_5393]
<div id='yui_3_16_0_1_1436139171287_5392]It is believed the board were finally forced to act on Richardson after receiving a bombshell invoice from Linen House Blanket Fort cleaner, Darren.



'I've been cleaning their trophy cabinet for 28 years on a fixed rate.... their Spray 'n' Wipe budget is already at breaking point.'

'...Even a laminated NAB Rising Star nomination would bankrupt them, let alone an entire premiership cup.' Darren explained.
<div id='yui_3_16_0_1_1436139171287_5398]
<div id='yui_3_16_0_1_1436139171287_5400]Former Carlton coach Michael Malthouse is the overwhelming favourite to succeed Richardson.

More to follow....

SYDNEY v. PORT ADELAIDE

Recent game: Round 2 2015 Adelaide Oval – Sydney 92 defeated Port Adelaide 44.

Kennedy v. Port Adelaide

Rd 2 2015: 130 SC points, 36 disposals
Rd 20 2014: 118 SC points, 34 disposals
Rd 13 2014: 102 SC points, 20 disposals
Rd 13 2013: 107 SC points, 31 disposals
Rd 3 2012: 113 SC points, 27 disposals
Rd 8 2011: 140 SC points, 31 disposals

Average is 118 SC points with 30 disposals.

Note: Normally avoids the tag as Cornes goes to Hannebery. Played head to head against Ebert in both games in 2014. Solid scores with no sub-100 scores since 2011.

Hannebery v. Port Adelaide

Rd 2 2015: 91 SC points, 28 disposals
Rd 20 2014: 54 SC points, 13 disposals
Rd 13 2014: 55 SC points, 13 disposals
Rd 13 2013: 60 SC points, 13 disposals
Rd 3 2012: 121 SC points, 36 disposals

Average is 76 SC points with 21 disposals.

Note: Terrible record against Port Adelaide. He has been effectively tagged by Cornes in the previous four matchups. His only score over 100, which was 121 in 2012, was achieved when he played against Paul Stewart.

Gray v. Sydney

Rd 2 2015: 114 SC points, 32 disposals
Rd 20 2014: 126 SC points, 37 disposals
Rd 13 2014: 93 SC points, 35 disposals
Rd 13 2013: 124 SC points, 24 disposals

Average is 114 SC points with 32 disposals.

Note: Solid record. Played with a sore ankle in the game earlier this year after copping a Franklin tackle in the second quarter. Tagged by Bird in Round 20 last year but still picked up 37 touches. Score helped by 12 clearances.

COLLINGWOOD v. HAWTHORN

Recent game: Round 23 2014 MCG – Hawthorn 121 defeated Collingwood 56.

Pendlebury v. Hawthorn

Rd 23 2014: 88 SC points, 28 disposals
Rd 14 2014: 121 SC points, 35 disposals
Rd 21 2013: 110 SC points, 31 disposals
Rd 3 2013: 124 SC points, 29 disposals
QF 2012: 105 SC points, 30 disposals
Rd 17 2012: 127 SC points, 34 disposals
Rd 1 2012: 167 SC points, 33 disposals
PF...

For a while now I've written at length at on the favours, foibles and fortunes of all the teams in the grand fantasy football competition of ORFFL. Partly out of duty, mostly out of love, I've dissected this game and those playing it to give you all something to read on a frighteningly irregular basis. Not this week. This week is for me.

SARAH ISLAND SAVAGES vs MOUNT BUGGERY DISAPPOINTMENTS
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Bring it chump.

Ok, teams. late considering tonight's game, but still, totally teams.
SYDNEY SWANS v PORT ADELAIDE
Thursday July 2 at SCG, 7.20pm (AEST)
SWANS
B: N.Smith, T.Richards, R.Shaw
HB: J.Laidler, H.Grundy, D.Rampe
C: J.McVeigh, J.P. Kennedy J.Lloyd
HF: L.Parker, S.Reid, L.Jetta
F: H.Cunningham, A.Goodes, G.Rohan
Foll: M.Pyke, K.Jack, D.Hannebery
Inter: Z.Jones, T.Mitchell, T.Nankervis, D.Towers
Emer: G.Hewett, B.Jack, X.Richards
In: T.Nankervis, D.Towers, M.Pyke
Out: L.Franklin (suspended), K.Tippett (suspended), T.Derickx
New: T.Nankervis (North Launceston)
POWER
B: J.Hombsch, A.Carlile, J.Impey
HB: J.Trengove, T.Jonas, J.Pittard
C: S.Colquhoun, M.Broadbent, B.Ebert
HF: R.Gray, J.Westhoff, C.Wingard
F: T.Boak, J.Schulz, P.Ryder
Foll: M.Lobbe, H.Hartlett, O.Wines
Inter: A.Monfries, B.Ah Chee, N.Krakouer, A.Moore
Emer: J.Neade, P.Stewart, K.Amon
In: P.Ryder
Out: K.Mitchell
COLLINGWOOD v HAWTHORN
Friday 3 July at MCG, 7.50pm (AEST)
MAGPIES
B: T.Langdon, N.Brown, M.Williams
HB: A.Toovey, J.Frost, B.Maynard
C: A.Oxley, D.Swan, S.Sidebottom
HF:J.Elliott, J.White, T.Broomhead
F: J.Blair, T.Cloke, D.Moore
Foll: J.Witts, J.Crisp, S.Pendlebury
Inter: J.De Goey, T.Adams, A.Fasolo, T.Varcoe
Emer: B.Kennedy, J.Marsh, P.Seedsman
In: B.Maynard, D.Moore
Out: T.Goldsack (knee), P.Seedsman
New: Brayden Maynard (Sandringham U18), Darcy Moore (Oakleigh U18)
HAWKS
B: B.Stratton, B.Lake, T.Duryea
HB: G.Birchall, J.Gibson, L.Hodge
C: I.Smith, S.Burgoyne, J.Lewis
HF: C.Rioli, M.Spangher, L.Breust
F: D.Hale, J.Gunston, P.Puopolo
Foll: J.Ceglar, L.Shiels, S.Mitchell
Inter: M.Suckling, B.Hill, W.Langford, R.Schoenmakers
Emer: B.Hartung, A.Litherland, B.McEvoy
In: M.Spangher, C.Rioli, R.Schoenmakers
Out: J.Roughead (illness), J.Frawley (shoulder), B.Hartung
RICHMOND v GWS GIANTS
Saturday 4 July at MCG, 1.40pm (AEST)
TIGERS
B: D.Grimes, J.Batchelor, T.Chaplin...

Phil Walsh man. Gut wrenching stuff. Don't know what else to say.


EDIT: Geelong / Adelaide game is cancelled. Points are split 2 each.

Well, that last round of the byes was a real doozy. If you're like me then your attention will now be switching from overall to leagues after some poor scoring from a whole range of different players, essentially ending the season not long after the halfway mark. While it's always disappointing, it does mean we can now focus on leagues only, and hopefully pull out a few big wins to gain some bragging rights for next year.

Onto the Best Buy for this week though, and that is Max Gawn. A man with a ridiculously sized head apparently, and a decent ruckman to boot, Gawn has been a revelation in the ruck for Melbourne in the 3 games he's played this season. Posting up scores of 98, 118 and 146 he has shown he clearly has the potential to be a gun player, now he just needs to maintain his form and not get injured. With many teams fully upgraded, or very close to it, the Best Buys will start to shift towards more POD players, and bench coverage/loophole options for those still with trades to burn.




DEFENSE
ROOKIES





Sam Colquhoun (PTA) DEF 188.3k 75 +49k

Colquhoun has played well since making his way into the Port side after an injury curtailed his 2014 season, averaging 75 points from his 2 games and regularly finding space when there seemingly isn't any. As he has played before his price is somewhat higher than other options here but his scoring output has so far justified it, and Colquhoun is set to increase in value by around 50 grand after his next game.



Shaun Edwards (ESS) DEF 123.9k 43 +24k

Edwards is also on the bubble this week, albeit after scoring a 9 in his last game. Now averaging 43 from his 2 matches so far he is facing a 24 grand price rise but has some job security issues currently and team selections will need to be monitored.



Hugh Beasley (BRI) DEF 144.7k 52 +31k
Beasley already broke his bubble last week, but after scoring 65 in his last game and only increasing in price to 145 grand he is still...

As I said, 18 players for 1,727 points in round 13, with some exceptional scores and some terrible disappointments. Our round ranking was 17,597 while our aggregate score is now 26,110. This gives us an overall ranking of a somewhat terrible 17,365...

How did we get ourselves into this you may ask (or you may not, knowing full well that I'm going to discuss it anyway), well, here's the team breakdown.

Defence
J Gibson 89
K Kolodjashnij 82
J Hamling 72
A Saad 70
B Smith 64
A Oxley 51
Bench of H Shaw 0 and J Lever 0.
Six scoring players down back, and not a decent score between them. Gibson was just short of his average, Kolo hit his average, recent recruit Hamling beat his average as a rookie, Saad was quite a way short, Smith has been a huge disappointment all year, while Oxley may have signed his sell notice&amp;rdquo; with that performance. It'll be nice to have Cheater back in the side (please don't quote me on that!)

Midfield
N Fyfe 138 (VC loophole 276)
L Parker 130
D Beams 126
P Dangerfield 114
J Kennedy 114
S Pendlebury 107
P Cripps 82
Zeroes of J Steele, J Selwood, J Nelson, and J (no, T) Dumont.
We bit the bullet, swallowed our pride, admitted our mistake, brought Fyfe in, put the VC on him, and ran with it when he scored 138 points! Now we understand what everyone's been going on about all year. We kept looking for Permacap, and when we didn't find him we went with the (not so) dependable one, which might explain why we've been burnt for much of the season. The rest of our mids were also quite promising this week, but with a fairly cookie-cutter midfield we didn't really gain much. Even Cripps with the tag to score 82 points was pretty good.

Ruck
None of them bothered to turn up this week. Goldy said he's been putting in the hard yards all season and just wanted to put his lanky feet up - we agreed, and even let him keep the captaincy for the week. NicNat went fishing, apparently. While Cox has been...

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Essendon Coach James Hird has today categorically declared 'we can still play finals' after receiving confirmation his team is still a participant in the Australian Football League.



Club spokesperson, Pippa Tyde, added to Hird's comments, 'We've had it verified by multiple sources, including the official AFL ladder- which still lists the Essendon Bombers as a team.'



It is believed the club has hired top mathematician Professor Morris Weiner to verify there are enough games remaining in the season, to potentially place between 1 and 8 under the AFL's Wholelotta-Funkworth scoring system.



'The term 'mathematically possible' gets thrown around a lot in football...but never this early in the season.' said Weiner, 'Hirdy's given us a real outlier.'



According to Weiner, the disastrous and ultimately final, 1914 season of the University Football Club is the only other example of such early use of grossly misleading optimism.



'The game was different back then of course, but University coach Reginald Knickerbocker was forced to use maths to justify his job after round 2... so James is by comparison very safe.' said Weiner.



Hird made his comments prior to boarding a flight to Greece to oversee a personal investment of his family's entire life savings.



When asked about the timing, purpose and mode of transport of his trip, Hird was quick to hose down criticism declaring;

'People need to stop questioning my judgement...

and accept that I know what I'm doing.'



When quizzed further on what he was in fact doing, he responded:

'whatever it takes' as the door to the experimental blimp 'Hindenberg II' closed it's paper...

So, end of the byes and it looks like the fantasy gods have saved their worst til last!

Sub optimal scores from Martin, Houli, Franklin, Suckling, Sloane, Mitchell, Ox;ey, Kavanagh, Lambert, Hodge makes for a lot of bullets to dodge!



And that's all on top of the already depleted lines.



On the plus side, byes are finish, and with any luck, you should be rolling into next week with a completed team!



Woo!