For those who take it way too seriously

Charlies Opening Spelunkers 876 vs Whitsunday Warriors 1049
The Cavemen got well and truly stuffed by @TerryinBangkok ’s forward line. Boak, Cameron and Gray of the Sam variety went nuts on my depleted backline with 2 out of position defenders proving easy pickings. Everywhere else it was potatoes for both sides.

Not a bloody ton anywhere from my mob, and whilst the fans are disappointed, the match committee are delighted. New draftees Tarryn Thomas and Sydney Stack are showing a bit. For TiB, his focus will be on trying to breathe some life into his midfield and defensive lines.

Wineglass Bay Packers 1153 vs Mount Beauty Uglies 998
@Tracey notches her first win for the season, and just as @HeavyMen gives @bama a new contract, it all goes to shit. Wilson, Stretch and the returned Mummy all went large for Tracey. The Uglies’ forward line needs to get into the room of mirrors and stare down a pissed off @HeavyMen

Venus Bay Vultures 1265 vs Waikikamoocow Incorrigibles 1226
Match of the round and a battle between two of the flag favourites. The more optimistic within our rank would say scoring was hampered due to the quality of the opposition, I say it was just a shit game. 1267 without Buddy and a tight in the butt Simpson isn’t a bad score I guess. @graeme shifting his focus to Stamford Bridge in the hope his blues can get the last Champions League spot.

Larrikin Lagoon Lefties 821 vs Birdsville Battlers 1148
@JC gave a brief review last week, and this match didn’t conjure up much in the way of content. Birdsville had the bye, and the players treated it as such.

Gariwerd Cockatoos 1564 vs Nareewillock Nuffers 1040
@anthak steps up and gives @TheTassieHawk an arse kicking of mammoth proportions. 9 tons and only one score under 80… not bad for a team in...
Just when you thought you were going to break 2300 and leap up in the rankings. Sunday games again failed to fire.

Did anyone bye pass Grundy, Gawn and Neal for Cripps? Who couldn’t find a loophole?

Who surprised? Who Sucks? And who is on the chopping block?

Are you trading up or down this week?

Let the trades begin!!
Friday April 26, 7:50pm at the Adelaide Oval

B: Bonner, Clurey, Houston
HB: Burton, Jonas, Byrne-Jones
C: Duursma, Rockliff, Westhoff
HF: Boak, Ebert, Butters
F: R.Gray, Ryder, Rozee
FOLL: Lycett, Wines, Drew
I/C: Powell-Pepper, Howard, Marshall, S.Gray
EMG: Broadbent, Johnson, Lienert, Amon

No changes

B: Macmillan, Tarrant, Pittard
HB: Wright, Thompson, Atley
C: Dumont, Higgins, Polec
HF: Hall, Ziebell, Zurhaar
F: Wood, Brown, Turner
FOLL: Goldstein, Cunnington, Anderson
I/C: Davies-Uniacke, McDonald, Larkey, Thomas
EMG: Hrovat, Simpkin, Scott, Hayden

IN: McDonald, Larkey, Thomas
OUT: Simpkin, Ahern, Scott

Saturday April 27, 1:45pm at Metricon Stadium

B: Harbrow, Collins, Ballard
HB: Murdoch, Hombsch, Hanley
C: Ainsworth, Bowes, Horlin-Smith
HF: Sexton, Wright, Holman
F: MacPherson, Corbett, Martin
FOLL: Witts, Miller, Swallow
I/C: Brodie, Fiorini, Joyce, Lukosius
EMG: Day, Heron, Miles, Young

IN: Corbett
OUT: Burgess

B: Hodge, Walker, Rich
HB: Witherden, Gardiner, Robinson
C: Berry, Neale, McCluggage
HF: Rayner, Hipwood, McCarthy
F: Cameron, McStay, McInerney
FOLL: Martin, Zorko, Lyons
I/C: Cutler, Taylor, Lester, Answerth
EMG: Bastinac, Robertson, Ballenden, Smith

IN: Cutler, Taylor, Lester, Answerth
OUT: Robertson, Christensen, Andrews, Mathieson

Saturday April 27, 4:35pm at Marvel Stadium

B: Webster, Brown, Savage
HB: Wilkie, Battle, McKenzie
C: Steven, Ross, Newnes
HF: Billings, Bruce, Parker
F: Lonie, Membrey, Gresham
FOLL: Marshall, Steele, Sinclair
I/C: Acres, Long, Kent, Paton
EMG: Longer, Joyce, Hind, Marsh

IN: McKenzie
OUT: Geary

B: Keath, Talia, Laird
HB: Mackay, Hartigan, Kelly
C: Knight, Greenwood, Atkins
HF: Crouch, Walker, Lynch
F: Murphy, Himmelberg, Betts
FOLL: O’Brien, Ellis-Yolmen, Sloane
I/C: Crouch, Gibbs, Poholke, Smith
EMG: Jenkins, Gallucci, Jones, Fogarty

IN: Poholke
Apologies for the brevity, but a short turnaround equals a short review. Here 's round 5 in a sentence or two:

Whitsunday Warriors 1109 def by Mount Beauty Uglies 1131
tough loss for TiB but he needed a few others to help Ollie out.
Uglies: After 3 straight wins, I wonder how many cans deep @HeavyMen is into the celebrations?

Waikikamoocow Incorrigibles 1075 def Charlies Opening Spelunkers 964
an ordinary effort by their usual standards but still got the job done.
Spelunkers: Operation ‘Sir Tanks-a-lot’ is alive and well.

Birdsville Battlers 1325 def Wineglass Bay Packers 1047
A couple of 150’s helped paper over the cracks.
Packers: Stephenson continues to show plenty and a playing ruck surely makes life easier.

Nareewillock Nuffers 1092 def by Venus Bay Vultures 1189
Only claiming half their top score hurt. Building, but it’ll take some time.
Vultures: A long way off last year so far, but a win gets them on the positive side of the ledger.

Nowhere Else Wanderers 1163 def Larrikin Lagoon Lefties 1041
Got everything from terrible (Aliir) to sublime (Walters), but most importantly - a win.
Lefties: Nice debut from Hately, but still crying out for a playing ruck.

Marble Bar Misfits 1343 def Gariwerd Cockatoos 1280
No Ward, no worries, as the defending champs just keep ticking along.
Cockatoos: Can count themselves unlucky to be 1-4 given they’re the sixth highest scoring team.

Wagga Wagga Wombats 1180 def by Gundagai Grasshoppers 1233
A touch unlucky as their best was better and they had the best four players on the park.
Hoppers: Still the only undefeated team as their superior depth got them home this week.

Iron Knob Codpieces 1229 def by Foul Bay Chickens 1386
I thought the green vest was back after Darling pumped out a 9.
Chooks: Eddie Betts, what a...
Please ‘o’ Please Mr Cripps, kick the god damn ball.

Hore sucker punched us two weeks in a row and JS in a crap Melb team firming up.

A couple of late changes, did you get caught napping?

How are your teams stats this week and the big question is? WHO ARE GOING TO TRADE In & Out?

2153pts is below par I’d expect!
Courtesy of the "pen" of the gentleman from Bangkok @TerryinBangkok

A horrible round for tipping and not a lot of joy in SC, but some sure things got up in the ORFFA with the Hoppers and the Misfits flying in the early rounds. Let’s get right into it.

Cows 1131 vs Warriors 1285

Probably the upset of the round (well it surprised me and we were so looking forward to a slab of silverside and a pinot after the game). Fyfe was off enjoying the pig shooting and a lonely ton from Ryan Burton not enough for Boak, Lobb (at last), Suckling and Andrews. Just a hiccup for the Waikiks and normal programming is expected to continue next week.

Uglies 1094 vs Battlers 1081

Well done Mt. Beauty and Birdsville must be regretting letting this close one slip. The Uglies were strong with tons to Brandon Ellis, Sides, Gawn and Walsh and, despite a horrible 23 from Butters and a worse 8 from Schache, were too good for the offerings from Witts and Acres.

The Opening 1076 vs Nuffers 926

Good performances from the Bont and Zac were matched by Cunningham and Ebert, but with 3 donuts, the Nuffers were not in the hunt. Hopefully they can get a few back next week. They need them.

Packers 1103 vs Wanderers 1167

Nice scores from both teams and a sign of things to come we hope. Charlie well served by Vintage Scully, Lynch and Mummy while Newman, Walters and Coniglio fought bravely for the Bay. The Wanderers now have two wins under the belt.

Vultures 1258 vs Misfits 1341

Tons all over the park with Simpson, Gaff, Yeo, Martin and Pittard all performing well for the Pippies, but even more from the Misfits with Mundy, Taranto, Kelly, Murphy, Lloyd and Whitfield. Some very astute bench choices from Fitzy wasn’t enough, but with a score like that he will be there abouts. No hangovers for Marble Bar.

Lefties 1010 vs Wombats 1201

A clear win to Wagga Wagga with Sicily, B. Smith, Shiel and Swallow all cracking the ton. A...
And that’s a rap!!!

- Score & Rank?
- Rnd 4 Cpt?
- How many players 100+?
- Who is in your trade rage crosshairs?

Some rookies looked tired.

2248 disappointing (82 pts diff on bench)
Grundy Cpt (via loop)
10 players 100+

For mine, Oliver and Dunkley only played slightly better than Meat Loaf at the GF!
Thursday, April 11, 7.20pm, SCG

B: Callum Mills, Dane Rampe, Tom McCartin
HB: Jake Lloyd, Aliir Aliir, Jackson Thurlow
C: Zak Jones, Luke Parker, Oliver Florent
HF: Harry Cunningham, Sam Reid, Isaac Heeney
F: Jordan Dawson, Lance Franklin, Kieren Jack
Foll: Callum Sinclair, Josh Kennedy, Tom Papley
I/C: Justin McInerney, Nick Blakey, Ben Ronke, George Hewett
Emerg: Robbie Fox, Ryan Clarke, Lewis Melican, James Rose

IN: Kieren Jack, Justin McInerney
OUT: Jarrod McVeigh, Will Hayward

B: Michael Hibberd, Oscar McDonald, Neville Jetta
HB: Billy Stretch, Sam Frost, Nathan Jones
C: Jayden Hunt, Clayton Oliver, Christian Salem
HF: James Harmes, Sam Weideman, Angus Brayshaw
F: Corey Wagner, Tom McDonald, Jake Melksham
Foll: Max Gawn, Christian Petracca, Jack Viney
I/C: Braydon Preuss, Bayley Fritsch, Jay Lockhart, Josh Wagner
Emerg: Charlie Spargo, Alex Neal-Bullen, Marty Hore, Harrison Petty

IN: Billy Stretch, Braydon Preuss
OUT: Kade Kolodjashnij, Alex Neal-Bullen

Friday, April 12, 7.50pm, MCG

B: Brayden Maynard, Jordan Roughead, Jeremy Howe
HB: Jack Crisp, Darcy Moore, James Aish
C: Chris Mayne, Scott Pendlebury, Tom Phillips
HF: Josh Thomas, Mason Cox, Steele Sidebottom
F: Taylor Adams, Brody Mihocek, Jordan De Goey
Foll: Brodie Grundy, Dayne Beams, Adam Treloar
I/C Jamie Elliott, Travis Varcoe, Tom Langdon, Jaidyn Stephenson
Emerg: Flynn Appleby, Ben Crocker, Levi Greenwood, Callum L. Brown

IN: Travis Varcoe
OUT: Levi Greenwood

B: Taylor Duryea, Zaine Cordy, Hayden Crozier
HB: Caleb Daniel, Easton Wood, Matthew Suckling
C: Lachie Hunter, Tom Liberatore, Josh Dunkley
HF: Billy Gowers, Josh Schache, Mitch Wallis
F: Toby McLean, Aaron Naughton, Tory Dickson
Foll: Tim English, Marcus Bontempelli, Jack Macrae
I/C: Bailey Smith, Ed Richards, Sam Lloyd, Jason Johannisen
Emerg: Jackson...
The Kiwi Kid @graeme steps up to the mic...

Well, well, well – round three already and still we have rolling lock-outs. Why? Because we must bow to the almighty broadcast $ (Gil’s dictum #1). What interest do you in the next eight days if your afl side plays Thursday evening? None, but wait there is more; thank goodness for ORFF and fantasy footy. Thank you for introducing some colour into our dull lives @walesy

The round promised some nice match ups with perhaps the cobalt chooks against the deep midfield of the ‘hoppers garnering most attention outside of our direct, self-interested FL affiliation. Have been a bit too cheery lately, so am playing some Leonard Cohen for balance (“x”).

Whitsunday Warriors (1248) v Birdsville Battlers (1180)

TiB claimed to be in trouble after round 1 and reaffirmed that during round 2. There was a point in the MSD draft when TiB missed out to Lenny on Rozee by one pick (but it’s OK, he thought, I’ll grab one of the Port kids at #26) only to watch on helpless as Zac Butters, Xavier Duursma and Willem Drew went at picks #’s 19, 20 and 22. Would the Battlers be lulled into a false sense of security over “Friday Free Drinks” at the Tiki Bar or would JC’s mob move away from their attempt to have a perfect 100% points for and against?

Boak (136) reminded us of the spirit of the power. Suckling (101), Smith (118) and Jez (163) maintained the momentum. For the Battlers (see what we did there with Josh Battle) Dom Sheed (111) remembered last September and Hippy’s century would have been handy afield. Ryan (156) and Hunter (105) tried their best but the home side was too strong.

(“and she shows you where to look among the garbage and the flowers”)

Nareewillock Nuffers (950) v Waikikamoocow Incorrigibles (1248)
A chance for the cows to check the form of former favourite Dan Hann was unfortunately restricted to a glimpse through the gym windows...