If there's ever a team that can play tankers into form it's the Smugglers - last week Coolgardie, this week Hughenden.
HPD has scored exactly 222 points more than me, yet sits at 18th whilst I am in 7th. Clearly a big fall is coming for the Bunyips!!
Damn those spreadsheet gremlins, they're just taunting me now giving me false hope that I might win something (albeit wooden) again
Oops, it's still a loss though. Looks like I wasn't the only one with Maths errors this week Report to come
Jenkins played OOP, the worst part of this loss is Ben Brown scored 112 (in the 2s). Barring injuries, I have the strongest team I have had in ages and I can't win because my players play best when not selected
Gisborne Grenades 979 defeated by Southern Cross 1452 This was the week it all came crashing down. After a 6-round average of 1255, the Grenades failed to explode, managing a measly 979 points and returning to pre-round-6 form - a bunch of potatoes. A complete antithesis was the performance of the Southern Cross "wait-since-when-were-they-good" Sandgropers, who annihilated all in their path on their way to a rampaging 1452. Now, I'll be honest right now. This report is really painful to write - I harboured ambitions of potential pushes up towards the top 10, wildest dreams top 8, especially given the form of the team. As you can imagine, there were tons all over the board for the Gropers. Hurley hit out 117 from defence, and Cunnington on the IC line returned to the form of old with 114. Both played near-equal roles despite their differing positions. Devon Smith was the best forward with 97, highlighting that his improvement isn't complete just yet. Only Sheed and Hibberd really failed to fire, down on their averages by at least 30 points. Everyone failed to fire for Gisborne, except Stevens (110) who has been a fantastic recruit for the Saints. Also, how good are the SAINTS!! It gets really good here if you are a Groper fan. Ryder 'rode' Witts all day, leaving him battered and bruised in a 21 point Big Tap win. The midfield for the Gropers was legitimately on fire. Crouch started it off with 99, clearly 'crouch'-ing down and kneecapping all Gisborne players. Duncan delivered a slam-'dunc' with 144 superb points, 'dunc'-ing the Grenades underwater and not letting them up. He's one to watch for the future. Selwood 'sold some wood' in exchange for the pill and a casual 120 points: all in a days work. Fyfe returned to form in a big way, taking the 'lyfe' out of the game in a swashbuckling 139. All in all, an awe-inspiring game in the middle of the ground for Southern Cross. Most of you wouldn't understand what it's like to be terrible year after year, simply entering a team to get beaten. I thought this had changed, I thought that finally something was going right. Clearly not. Although, in fairness Gisborne has never scored above 1373, so were no hope of winning, but I thought these sub-1000 performances were a thing of the past. Mind you, Liam Jones deserves another week to redeem himself... Congratulations go to the deserving winners Southern Cross who simply smashed it - a real contender this year! In my opinion, they should be able to maintain a top 4 position, and if the scoring can either plateau or increase they will do damage in the finals series. They've got Serengeti this week - a should win, but with the evenness of this competition who knows?! Sorry for the terrible player-name jokes, I guess you could say I've got my vision is @eagle_eyed when looking for potential puns! BAFFU 3. Duncan 144 (SCS) 2. Fyfe 139 (SCS) 1. Ryder 129 (SCS) Big Tap Witts (GG) 108 defeated by Ryder (SCS) 129
Thanks for the write up mate. I can empathise with entering a team just to get beaten; I haven't finished above 14th in the previous three years but it finally looks like my millions of trades and kids I initially drafted are coming good. I would hope to be a top four contender for at least the next three seasons, wishful thinking I know but I think the worm has finally turned!
For those with their head under a rock, allow me to regale you of a great tale. One of bitterness and despair. One where every single wanker from the goldfields scored above their average whilst the little armoured battlers all fell in a heap. One where sadly, there was no happy ending unless you visited Banchang. For the impartial, one concedes the mighty struggle would've enthralled. A see sawing tip toeing hee hawing barn burning ring a ding dinger resulted in a 1185 to 1189 defeat for the home side Ararat. Coolgardie had winners on every line. Astbury, Ebert, Wines, all raised the bat and were led by former Armadillo Justin Westhoff who top scored with 136. Great effort by the 1st year player Perryman to reach 70 and Parfitt with the late call up to manage 71. It wasn't all sunshine and lollipops for the Prospectors as the much hyped interchange of 'The Path' and 'Majic' failed to trouble the scorers (dishonourable mention to Stef Martin also). On the other side of the coin, Ararat had losers all across the field. Gawn looked human. The mids couldn't muster triple figures and the Captain of the forward line Dahlhaus scraped to a measly 60. Young recruit Rhys Mathieson tried his hardest to lead by example with an 87 and Defender/Ruck/Forward Tom McDonald continued his stellar season with an even ton. Unfortunately it was not enough in yet another uninspiring performance for the Armadillos. Take nothing away from Coolgardie though as they were the best team on the day and did enough to get the 4 points.
Cow Bay 1,125 def Eden 1,097 Another malfunctioning scoreboard saw a 30 odd point loss turn into a 28 point win for the home side. The jubilation in the township of Cow Bay continues as the Crocs have managed to stay off the bottom of the ladder for 13 straight weeks now. The locals are starting to dream. 4 rounds to go. 4 wins away from a potential top 8 finish. Come to think of it, I'd have better luck playing one of them lotto games. For the Crocs, Zak Jones (49) managed to injure himself in the first quarter but first year sensation McGrath (90) stepped up in his absence to marshall the defensive 4. Although Andrew's seniors, McDonald (74) and Dunn (71) took instruction well and did their bit. Scotty Lycett (63) was welcomed back to play his first game of the year and take out the big tap honours against an OOP Jenkins (56). Blakely (129) continued his good form in the middle but had little support from others. Up forward POOYA winner Jon Patton (117) kept kicking goals as did Jack Martin (96). Frustratingly, Gunston (68) and Cameron (69) weren't even average and managed to do their bit to ensure only 2 forwards per week score well for the Crocs. McKenna (54) and Robertson (60) didn't do a whole lot when they came off the bench. The Whalers' Otten (94) was the leader down back but the other defenders seemed to be doing little during the game, preferring to play tea party while goals were kicked over and around them. Jenkins (56) did well to adjust to being first ruck and Atkins (110) seemed to get first hands to the ball from his hitouts. Ex Croc Scully (84) and Gibson (89) were ok without being stand outs. Papley (87) tried to lift the Whalers over the line but was the only forward to score above 60 for the visitors. Zaharakis (120) and Crisp (88) saw the poor efforts from those who came onto the bench and tried to help Atkins out but it wasn't enough. The win ensures Cow Bay stays in 17th whereas the loss means the Whalers moved up from 14th to 13th?!?!? Wtf? Next week Cow Bay takes the ferry to Groote Eylandt while the Whalers host the Smugglers at home. Big Tap Lycett (63) def Jenkins (56) BAFFU 3 Blakely, Cow Bay (129) 2 Zaharakis, Eden (120) 1 Patton, Cow Bay (117)
Welcome to Dad Jokes 101 with your host Tomster. This weeks lesson is: terrible name-based puns. It was funny mate, I enjoyed reading it!!!
Hahahahahahaha How do you respond to that? Dear little armoured battlers, Thankyou very much for an entertaining game of football. If that tripe you served up over the weekend is what you call football. On behalf of the team, we had an enjoyable time in country Victoria. We appreciated greatly your hospitality, especially the use of your dustbowl to practice for our upcoming game against Blanchetown. There were laughs galore in all of our adventures. Although it distracted him significantly, of note was our gentle giant Stefan Martin and his fit of giggles at that human-looking Ned Kelly impersonator that you arranged for us. Our spearhead Justin Westhoff was happy to be in his old stomping ground, showing his teammates around the traps of Ararat. Unfortunately he also found his old double-barrel shotgun, and was seen taking aim at the local Eagles. We must disagree about happy endings in Banchang, we've had some terrible experiences there, including a Giant bout of gastro two years ago. Anyway, we must be on our way. Once again, thanks for the hospitality, and those four points we saw just sitting there in the goalsquare. Sincerely, The Wankers from the Goldfields
It wasn't the khao paht talay and tom yum goong that got the gastro going in the Big Mummy, it was the slab of Chang he downed with it.... And living in Banchang means "life has just one big happy ending"
Is this becoming the norm in ORFFU now. Only 5-6 Match reports most weeks. C'mon fellas, they make good reading.. only takes 10-15 mins of your time, if you're anything like me. Although with some of the reports, I'm sure a lot more time and effort is put into them. If you're the Home team, find the time and submit a Match Report...it makes for a better Comp.
Banchang travel to Nuytsland for this weeks game where we're up against....... (with special appearance from @bryzza )
Hughenden defeated Christmas Island 1228-1143 In what some may view as an upset, the last placed Pdawgs notched up their 3rd win of the season at Flying Fish Cove against the struggling Smugglers. Despite the difference in ladder position this result was always on the cards, with Hughenden’s points for suggesting they should be fighting for a spot in the 8, rather than competing for the wooden spoon. However, other teams seem to have risen to the occasion against @Batfink 's boys and the local crowd were hoping for something similar from Xmas Island as they tried to push their way back into the top 8. Unfortunately, the Smugglers put up little fight, with only 4 players hitting their season average. This was contrasted with the Pdawgs who had 4 in the midfield alone exceed their 2017 average output. They were led by Callan Ward’s barnstorming 136, in his best performance of the season. Clayton Oliver (116) and Dylan Shiel (106) were able lieutenants, while even the aging Kieran Jack (96) got in on the action. This midfield dominance lead to plenty of quality service to the Hughenden forwards, with Tim Membrey in particular taking full advantage, with a career best 5 goals. However, as the Pdawgs have been on the end of a couple of cheap shots recently, Tiny Tim took out his frustrations on the visiting David Astbury (kindly granted leave by the Coolgardie coaching staff), earning himself a couple of weeks’ rest. The less said about the Smugglers’ performance the better. The Kreuz missile kept himself in big tap contention with a comfortable win over the rarely-sighted Archie Smith, while Jake Lever showed why he is hot property at the moment (and certainly worth more than a R3 MSD as was offered recently!) with a team best 111. The loss has effectively ended the Smugglers’ (admittedly slim) chances of making the top 8 and so attention now turns to preparations for 2018. Xmas Island could welcome back up to 5 first teamers for the clash with Eden this weekend, which is the start of the road to just missing the finals again next year. Meanwhile Hughenden host Pakenham in a match the visitors need to win to keep their finals’ chances alive. BAFFU Ward – 136 (HPD) Oliver – 116 (HPD) Lever – 111 (CIS) Big tap – Kreuzer 103 over Smith 20
Match Preview Round 17 - Coolgardie hosting Blanchetown @martyg The Blanchetown Bunyips are coming to town to face the Coolgardie Prospectors, and lets hope the visitors have a case of it ('yips), because the home side is already looking on shaky ground, and the match hasn't even started yet. Both sides line up well, with a good blend of youth and experience. They've publicly stated that they're taking it one week at a time. Coach Marty has already called this an 8-point game, but taking a more objective look at this and it appears both teams are playing for sheep stations. Meanwhile the Prospectors have a bloke (J Smith) who is 50-50 this week. The game could have a few more clichés, but that would be a cliché in itself. The simplistic view is that, if everyone scores their average then: Coolgardie - 212, 337, 100, 326, 128 = 1103 Blanchetown - 315, 362, 94, 292, 139 = 1202 It should be a very comfortable win to the visitors. Fortunately, we don't play this game on paper (we play it on laptops and smartphones!) Its going to take a miracle for the home side to get over the line in this one, and I just can't see it happening...
King Island 1386 def Staghorn Flat 1151 Finding themselves in unfamiliar territory outside the 8 so late in the year, the Monarchs faced their arch rivals the Bulls in typically crappy Bass Strait conditions. Both sides were able to score with relative ease when they got the ball forward, with only Henderson(120) for the Monarchs and young Mayes(99) for the Bulls putting up any fight amongst some woeful defensive efforts. The big Texan(133) was the best forward for the home side while Rohan(128) as a late in again showed supporters a frustrating glimpse of what he is capable of. The Bulls gave a solid, even display up forward with Roughy(88) leading the way. But it was in the middle the home side were able to get on top starting with Zac Smith(109) getting the upper hand over the rejuvenated McEvoy(86). From there the Monarchs inside mids, in particular Murphy(141) and Swallow (junior)(132), got the better of Rockliff(90) and Swallow (senior)(91) leaving the Bulls outside runners Whitfield and the Hill boys struggling for possessions. VOTES 3 Murphy 2 Walker 1 Swallow D After some pitiful form of late, the win gives the Monarchs a glimmer of hope but the inconsistency across the team shows they're far from the power they once were, with time finally catching up to the midfield. For the Bulls, much still rests on the shoulders of Rockliff, particularly while Coniglio's still out, and a tough game this week against the Armadillos might be their last chance to keep their season alive. (Apologies for the late report, been away for a few days)