Progress update in the best and fairest award for the Spelunkers : The Pit Boss award Round 1 : Away to Cradle Mountain 3 votes : Heath Shaw 2 votes ; Matthew Kreuzer 1 vote: Robin Nahas Round 2 : Home to Mawson Base 3 votes: Andrew Swallow 2 votes : Kieren Jack 1 vote : Heath Shaw Round 3 : Away to Iron Knob 3 votes: Kieren Jack 2 votes : Andrew Swallow 1 vote : Drew Petrie Progressive: 5 Votes : Kieren Jack, Andrew Swallow 4 votes : Heath Shaw 2 votes : Matthew Kreuzer 1 vote : Robin Nahas, Drew Petrie <img src="http://www.cfm-online.com/storage/CFM-awards-2.jpg" />
Round Review: Charlie's Opening away at Iron Knob Defenders: Heath Shaw 105 Eric MacKenzie 78 Heath Grundy 59 Matthew Jaensch 98 Mids: Andrew Swallow 127 Kieren Jack 123 Brent Moloney 39 Leigh Montagna 115 Ruck: Zachary Clarke 67 Forwards: Cyril Rioli 74 Drew Petrie 121 Josh Hill 107 Robin Nahas 68 Interchange: Matthew Kreuzer 116 Phil Davis 69 Total: 1366 Travelling up to Iron knob there was a concern amongst the match day committee that the temperatures may be a little too warm for the Geek pride uniform, however The Iron Knob supporters made us feel very welcome and reassured the team that the weather would be fine for the day, and right they were with a lovely 17 degrees and a gentle breeze providing comfort to the players aside from their genital areas where the players comfort camera on the Channel 7 megawall showed a bit of pre-game perspiration. The team doctors were concerned that player fatigue may lead to chafing in the 4th quarter but the Spelunkers ran the game out well. The switch of Zac Clarke into the ruck and Matthew Kreuzer to the bench to come on as the impact player was only partially successful. Kreuzer indeed made a massive impact coming off the bench (116), but Clarke had a mediocre game with a below par 67. The back line performed well, aside from Heath Grundy who chip kicked and hospital handpassed his way to a 59. Cale Hooker was dropped and named as emergency after breaking team curfew rules, however the coach may have been a bit hasty in his actions as the defender mentioned that 'a night out with the Hookers meant that I was catching up with some of my local family, not going to a brothel'. Needless to say the coach of the Spelunkers stuck to his word, and left Hooker out of the game, to the detriment of the team. The rest of the back line were serviceable, with Shaw tonning up. The midfield dominated, with three players tonning up, leaving Brent Moloney (39) wondering what he needs to do to get some form. The coach was overheard at the gents talking to the owner of the Iron Knob Pub, Alan Irvine, stating that Stringer may get a game based on that performance. <img src="http://www.ironknob.org/images/Iron-Knob-photo's-011.jpg" /> The forward line played well, with Petrie (121) and Josh Hill (107) the standouts. Cyril (74) and the Trouser Snake Nahas (68) had a bit of trouble with movement as their codpieces were a tad too tight, but battled on. Many thanks to the home team for providing such comfortable lodging and a great feed after the game. The players were relieved to take the cod pieces off and jump into an ice bath to reduce the swelling. Next week the team travels across the ditch to take on the Incorrigibles... should be a cracking game.
I think I got you covered bro! The Codpieces 'cracked a huge' 1450 this week unless my maths is poor. Cheers in providing the 46 who attended the game from the mine with a spectacle though! was great seeing both teams running around in their full Geek Pride uniforms!
<blockquote>Quote from jimbowan on May 28, 2012, 14:57 I think I got you covered bro! The Codpieces 'cracked a huge' 1450 this week unless my maths is poor. Cheers in providing the 46 who attended the game from the mine with a spectacle though! was great seeing both teams running around in their full Geek Pride uniforms!</blockquote> I reckon you have me bloke... however I think we were a bit stiff.
best you bring your A game across the ditch Bandit. What fish entree would you like for the pre-game meal? Smoked eel or fresh eel? Local horseradish is very fine this time of year.
<blockquote>Quote from chels on May 28, 2012, 15:59 best you bring your A game across the ditch Bandit. What fish entree would you like for the pre-game meal? Smoked eel or fresh eel? Local horseradish is very fine this time of year.</blockquote> We will have it fresh thanks Chels.... nothing like a bit of unagi sashimi for the faithful. <img src="http://britishfoodhistory.files.wordpress.com/2012/01/jellied-eels.jpg" />
Bandit: Delicious is happy at the Pit The list manager of the Spelunkers has dismissed reports that the high profile forward is looking for a new club, stating that he doesn't think Cyril can leave the Opening. The 22-year-old has been a cameo part of the Spelunkers title challenge this season, only averaging 13 disposals per game and contributing 5 goals. His last game at Iron Knob was partiularly poor, with Rioli later claiming to have suffered from "bad chafing due to the codpiece the #@%$@#@ coach made me wear for Geek Pride Round" and this contributed to his below par performance. Any speculation that Rioli will be traded during the upcoming trade period has been quashed by the club, however Rioli's manager, Chicken Nixon, gave a statement in his underpants that Rioli's has been the centre of a raft of calls about his availability.
Rioli : I haven't spoken to any clubs Spelunkers forward Cyril Rioli says he is happy at Charlie's Opening and has not had talks with Venus Bay and Mount Beauty. The 22-year-old has admitted that he would like to return to the Australian mainland in the future but according to Tasmanian media he has also attracted the attention of the dinosaur at Powlett Plains. However, he says he is enjoying his life in Tasmania and looking is enjoying his football. "The Spelunkers are the most important team for me - we’ll see what happens,” Rioli told the throng of media outside the Pit. “People are talking a lot about my future and a few clubs have been touted, but the most important thing is to win and be happy. I haven’t spoken to any clubs." Rioli says he is aware that a move away would anger Spelunker fans, but insists that such thoughts are premature as he is happy with his current club. “They (Spelunker fans) would be angry; I understand that, but for now I just want to concentrate on my football and we’ll see what happens,” he said. “I’m very happy at the moment."
Selection Panel Minutes Charlie's Opening next game away at Waikickamoocow Team List: Defenders: Matthew Jaensch Eric MacKenzie Cale Hooker Phil Davis (c) Midfield: Andrew Swallow (vc) Kieren Jack Leigh Montagna Robin Nahas Ruck: Matthew Kreuzer Forwards: Drew Petrie Cyril Rioli Josh Hill Jarrad Grant Interchange: Heath Grundy Brent Moloney Ins: Cale Hooker, Jarrda Grant Outs: Heath Shaw (inj), Moloney General comments: Shaw dropped for eating too many pies, resulting in a strained calf muscle... immediately embarking on a non-pastry diet after this image of his latest skin fold test went viral after being seen on his Facebook page <img src="http://www4.pictures.gi.zimbio.com/Wookey+Hole+Hosts+Mince+Pie+Eating+Competition+grk1MR6z-eLl.jpg" /> Hooker brought back in after declaring that he had no family in New Zealand, therefore no need to visit the hookers. Rioli has one more chance to perform on the big stage. recent rumours about transfers have unsettled the player... some on the match committee feel it may be too little too late if he performs this weekend. Brent Moloney on the nose after training at the opposition ground, maybe due to an errant step (see ground condition report below), Grant to replace him... with rumours of Menzel and Knights performing well on the rehab and training tracks will hopefully be incentive for the player to step up. Opposition Analysis: The team from across the trench have some quality, midfield is strong with Bellchambers, Mitchell, Ziebell and Hannebery keeping us honest. Recent scouting trips have given concern to the quality of the facility we are travelling to, but provided we can navigate through the 'minefield' our ground speed should hold us in good stead. <img src="http://www.cowpoobingo.com/images/cow_pat_field.jpg" /> Major concerns about the prevailing mode of transport to the ground and it's suitability for the team <img src="http://lh6.ggpht.com/_2VEaTPMR9yw/So75cT4m7II/AAAAAAAAAUE/1PPRW43_dxU/funny_cow_scooter[2].jpg" /> Team are fired up and looking forward to the match, including the pre game eel and the post game roast beef.
The Waikik match committee is still in a state of shock that the team has not, as yet, won. Hopes are high for this to change this week end in front of its fiercely loyal crowd. Selected team Defenders: Harry Taylor Troy Chaplin Matt Maguire Josh Bootsma Midfield Sam Mitchell Jack Ziebell Daniel Hannebery Ricky Dyson Ruck Sam Jacobs Forwards Mitch Robinson M/F Justin Westhoff James Podsiadly Aaron Edwards Interchange Tom Bellchambers Sam Lonergan In: Josh Bootsma Outs: Jarrad McVeigh Some concerns about the performance of the forwards which, given the rumours of a possible trade for Cyril Rioli, will hopefully lead to lift in performance. The strong Essendon presence is seen as a huge plus. Emergencies are not as yet finalised but will be drawn from: Sam Shaw, Isaac Smith, Jarrad McVeigh and Tony Armstrong.
Scandal surrounds football match Charlie's Openings rivalry with Waikickamoocow has endured numerous twists and turns but nothing in its long turbulent history has, matched the drama that started at 1 o'clock yesterday morning in the Marriott Hotel at Ekatahuna. It was worthy of a Hercule Poirot mystery. At that moment, 10 first-team Spelunker players, including their ruckman, Matthew Kreuzer, and vice captain Andrew Swallow were violently sick with food poisioning. For hours it seemed that the Opening were not even sure they could field a side. Indeed, when I arrived at the ground at 1.30pm, Phil Davis was heard telling the cheer squad captain: "We will have to field 10, have you got your boots?" The previous night had begun so well. The Spelunkers, long the underachievers of north Tasmania, were ahead of Waikickamoocow and had a good run of form to bring them into the game. A win at Ekatahuna and there was nothing Waikickamoocow could do to prevent The Spelunkers claiming the moral high ground. As is custom for away matches, the The Spelunkers players spent the night before the match at the Marriott, gathering around 7 o'clock on Saturday night. Curiously, the neighbouring Four Seasons is used by Waikickamoocow. A buffet dinner was laid out in a specially booked room with raw eel as requested by the visiting team and Kreuzer was feeling particularly happy. Many of the players who had been carrying knocks were now fit. The Marriott, a five-star hotel, is proud of its cuisine. It claims to "satisfy the most discerning palates with its fresh approach" and the players made the most of the buffet, a lot of them having the specialty dish of eel. Then, from about 1am, virtually The Spelunkers's entire team were violently sick: Davis, Kreuzer, Hooker, Grant, Clarke, Petrie, Jaensch, MacKenzie, Montagna and Stringer. Kreuzer, the most ill, was hardly able to walk. One suggestion was a postponement until 7pm. Bandit felt that the extra four hours would enable some of his players, in particular Kreuzer and Hooker, to get some sleep and then have enough fluids to last 120 minutes of a match. By now it was midday, however, and the pubs around Ekatahuna were full of Incorrigible fans celebrating their own fantastic season and the police feared what seven hours of drinking would do. The police would accept a postponement until 4pm, but Bandit could do nothing with an extra two hours. So it was decided the match would start at 2pm, and at about 1.30 the Spelunkers bus pulled into the stadium. To add to their trauma, Heath Shaw was home at The Pit and it was from this bastion of The Spelunkers's fanbase that he tweeted that he could not possibly eat another pie.In this unprecedented situation, it was entirely understandable that many The Spelunkers supporters were freely speculating that the hated enemy Waikickamoocow were to blame - unable to countenance the idea of the Incorrigibles taking the points As State of Origin coach Terry and his rumoured new partner, Chelsea Roffey, arrived for one last look at the young The Spelunkers hopefuls, totally unaware of events, nobody was sure what team Bandit would put out. In the event, there was a 15 named, with three subs, although all of them had food poisoning as well. Just before the first bounce however Matthew Kreuzer tossed his cookies over the umpire, and had to leave the ground, leaving the Spelunkers with no ruckman for the game. Within five minutes, Ekatahuna was singing "Goal to Waikickamoocow". Five minutes later the Spelunkers supporters started cheering as their team responded. Barely had The Spelunkers stemmed the bleeding when Ekatahuna erupted with a goal frenzy. The second half saw Waikickamoocow in much finer voice as they saw their team dominate a Spelunkers team visibly wilting. Swallow left on the hour. Bandit made other changes but one Spelunkers player refused to leave. Kieren Jack's number was held up in high regard, as he would not let the dream go. When it was all over, he walked to the Spelunkers cheer squad and tossed his shirt to the crowd. When Bandit visted the dressing room, he found many of the players in tears. At the begining of the season, a place like Ekatahuna would have been a triumph for The Spelunkers; now, defeat after a night of food poisoning was as painful as it was mysterious as the old enemy seized the huge prize.
what a sad story Bandit. You will recall I offered you the choice of raw eel or smoked eel. Do you remember the choice you made? Do you recall I noted the Waikiks were happy with the smoked eel? Take it like a man Bandit - ala Kieren Jack. Should you wish to trade Kieren, as he probably feels out of place in your team, just send me a pm. We were looking forward to the away game, but that treat will have to wait until next season. Good luck in the next rounds Banditto.
<blockquote>Quote from chels on June 4, 2012, 14:16 what a sad story Bandit. You will recall I offered you the choice of raw eel or smoked eel. Do you remember the choice you made? Do you recall I noted the Waikiks were happy with the smoked eel? Take it like a man Bandit - ala Kieren Jack. Should you wish to trade Kieren, as he probably feels out of place in your team, just send me a pm. We were looking forward to the away game, but that treat will have to wait until next season. Good luck in the next rounds Banditto.</blockquote> I do recall... as a result the team dietician has been sacked! Thanks for the game, pity we didn't bring our a game to give you a better contest
Charlie's Opening welcome Reid and Hill to the club Charlie's Opening, in keeping with true Tasmanian tradition, are moving to keep it within the family. The Spelunkers are delighted to welcome Sam Reid to the club, to join his brother Ben. Stephen Hill is also joining the club, claiming he was "far too good looking to be playing for the Uglies", however there was a dissappointed expression on his face when he noted that there were no day spas or pamper salons in the Opening. Both players will have their first full hit out this weekend.
Thanks for the hospitality on the weekend Bandit. We had a great game and a great time in general down the Pit. The snags were brilliant and the atmosphere wonderful. Despite all this we are quite concerned by the goings on in relation to the laser being pointed at our forward Angus Monfries throughout the game. http://www.theaustralian.com.au/sport/angus-monfries-target-of-laser-beam/story-e6frg7mf-1226390552116 It did get out of hand at times: <img src="http://blog.synthesis.net/wp-content/uploads/2008/07/lasers1.jpg" /> We would like to enquire about what has been done regarding this issue. And if we are not satisfied that the steps put in place to ensure that this type of behavior is eradicated and the individual(s) concerned are disciplined, we plan to raise an official dispute with the ORFFA. Thanks again for the snags. We really did have a great time, and this whole aftermath is really only so we can be seen to be doing the right thing by our player Regards, anthak Gariwerd Cockatoos
OK, I'm back from the dark ages, loads to catch up on but a quick update here first Progress update in the best and fairest award for the Spelunkers : The Pit Boss award Round 1 : Cradle Mountain 3 votes : Heath Shaw 2 votes : Matthew Kreuzer 1 vote : Robin Nahas Round 2 : Mawson Base 3 votes : Andrew Swallow 2 votes : Kieren Jack 1 vote : Heath Shaw Round 3 : Iron Knob 3 votes : Kieren Jack 2 votes : Andrew Swallow 1 vote : Drew Petrie Round 4 : Waikickamoocow 3 votes : Kieren Jack 2 votes : Cyril Rioli 1 vote : Robin Nahas Round 5 : Gariwerd 3 votes : Kieren Jack 2 votes : Stephen Hill 1 vote : Sam Reid Round 6 : Birdsville 3 votes : Drew Petrie 2 votes : Leigh Montagna 1 vote : Phil Davis Round 7 : Powlett Plains 3 votes : Kieren Jack 2 votes : Zachary Clarke 1 vote : Phil Davis Round 8 : Far Kew 3 votes : Kieren Jack 2 votes : Andrew Swallow 1 vote : Josh Hill Round 9 : Gundagai 3 votes : Andrew Swallow 2 votes : Sam Reid 1 vote : Heath Shaw Round 10 : Marble Bar 3 votes : Drew Petrie 2 votes : Kieren Jack 1 vote : Heath Shaw Round 11 : Mount Beauty 3 votes : Drew Petrie 2 votes : Stephen Hill 1 vote : Heath Shaw Round 12 : Nunawading 3 votes : Andrew Swallow 2 votes : Kieren Jack 1 vote : Leigh Montagna Progressive votes: 21 : Kieren Jack 13 : Andrew Swallow 10 : Drew Petrie 7 : Heath Shaw 4 : Stephen Hill 3 : Sam Reid, Leigh Montagna 2 : Matthew Kreuzer, Zachary Clarke , Phil Davis, Robin Nahas, Cyril Rioli 1 : Josh Hill <img src="http://www.cfm-online.com/storage/CFM-awards-2.jpg" /></blockquote>
Some stats on the performance of the team to date: Round Average : 1109 Round Average Excluding Byes : 1232 Highest Round Score : 1374 Highest Player average : Kieren Jack 127 Highest Player Score : Drew Petrie 168 Loewst Player Average : Nick Haynes 30 Lowest Player Score : Brent Moloney 24
Stringer suspended for rest of the season after alleged pie fueled barny A marathon drinking session led to the alleged assault of a young woman, ending the season of Spelunker youngster Jesse Stringer. A female friend of Stringer’s received a black eye during an argument after he returned home about 7am, following a night out with teammates. Geelong slapped a season-ending ban on Stringer, 21, after he admitted his bad behaviour to senior players. Anti-violence campaigners and the ORFFA applauded the strong stance. A source close to the club said Stringer was sorry for his alcohol-fuelled actions. He originally offered an excuse that the girl in the centre of the incident had been involved in an altercation with Heath Shaw about who had stronger claims to the last party pie on the platter, but that was later retracted. The incident happened just prior to the clash with Powlett Plains, with rumours some players were prematurely celebrating their win with a drinking session that continued long into the morning. Claims that the session was attended by the previously absent coach of the Spelunkers were strongly denied. Police took Stringer into custody and questioned him last Friday after the alleged incident at his home. The Charlie's Opening Football Club said in a statement yesterday that Stringer's behaviour was "totally unacceptable". "Stringer will not be considered for senior selection for the remainder of the 2012 ORFFA season," the club said. "He will also be required to attend behaviour-related education programs arranged by the club." Tess Stickle, executive officer of Domestic Violence Resource Centre, said the ban set a good precedent. "We applaud such a strong decision being made," she said. "It is important there is a clear message that violence against women will not be tolerated." ORFFA operations manager Hugh Jars backed the Spelunkers sanction: "The club and its leadership group have sent a powerful message to the ORFFA industry and the community more broadly that violence against women is never acceptable." ORFFA Players Association player relations general manager Urich Hunt said last night he had "significant concerns" the decision to impose sanctions and the club's public statements could undermine a potential court case.
Progress update in the best and fairest award for the Spelunkers : The Pit Boss award Round 1 : Cradle Mountain 3 votes : Heath Shaw 2 votes : Matthew Kreuzer 1 vote : Robin Nahas Round 2 : Mawson Base 3 votes : Andrew Swallow 2 votes : Kieren Jack 1 vote : Heath Shaw Round 3 : Iron Knob 3 votes : Kieren Jack 2 votes : Andrew Swallow 1 vote : Drew Petrie Round 4 : Waikickamoocow 3 votes : Kieren Jack 2 votes : Cyril Rioli 1 vote : Robin Nahas Round 5 : Gariwerd 3 votes : Kieren Jack 2 votes : Stephen Hill 1 vote : Sam Reid Round 6 : Birdsville 3 votes : Drew Petrie 2 votes : Leigh Montagna 1 vote : Phil Davis Round 7 : Powlett Plains 3 votes : Kieren Jack 2 votes : Zachary Clarke 1 vote : Phil Davis Round 8 : Far Kew 3 votes : Kieren Jack 2 votes : Andrew Swallow 1 vote : Josh Hill Round 9 : Gundagai 3 votes : Andrew Swallow 2 votes : Sam Reid 1 vote : Heath Shaw Round 10 : Marble Bar 3 votes : Drew Petrie 2 votes : Kieren Jack 1 vote : Heath Shaw Round 11 : Mount Beauty 3 votes : Drew Petrie 2 votes : Stephen Hill 1 vote : Heath Shaw Round 12 : Nunawading 3 votes : Andrew Swallow 2 votes : Kieren Jack 1 vote : Leigh Montagna Round 13 : Namatjira 3 votes : Kieren Jack 2 votes : Leigh Montagna 1 vote : Stephen Hill Round 14 : Whitsundays 3 votes : Leigh Montagna 2 votes : Matthew Kreuzer 1 vote : Kieren Jack Progressive votes: 25 : Kieren Jack 13 : Andrew Swallow 10 : Drew Petrie 8 : Leigh Montagna 7 : Heath Shaw 5 : Stephen Hill 4 : Matthew Kreuzer 3 : Sam Reid 2 : Zachary Clarke , Phil Davis, Robin Nahas, Cyril Rioli 1 : Josh Hill <img src="http://www.cfm-online.com/storage/CFM-awards-2.jpg" /></blockquote></blockquote>