ORFFA Muso round.

A number of coaches have nominated aussie/kiwi bands (and inspirational songs) to headline their matchups on the regional stage. For the rest, yours truly has undertaken widespread consultation then unceremoniously picked some random band names out of a hat. Let the gratuitous lyric grabs and awkward metaphors spill over.


Next Big Thing Hoppers 1360 vs Meat of Tomorrow Wombats 1194

What does this shiny red button do? muttered newbie Wil Powell sheepishly, not having read the glaringly large font: SELF DESTRUCT.

This was the final straw for the embattled Hoppers as the cupboard was already pretty thin in the lead up to this game. Exit Martin, Fisher and Shaz in the space of a heart beat and the insects have gone from medium-well to incinerated.
A last hurrah here as Cripps and Grundy went bonkers against a mediocre Wombat midfield.

AC/DC-esque: Hopp - Cripps, Grundy, Milera, Curnow squared, Neale,
Bats – Gibbs, Oliver, Cripps, Macmillan, Ahern


Rolf Harris-ish: Hopp – McClug, Rayner, JKolo.
Bats – Swallow, Shiel, Richards

RIP – Shaz

Lyrical snapshot – “It’s a setback for your country”



Up Against The Wall Lefties 1031 vs Laugh In Their Faces Chooks 1345

Well, we went into this game expecting to lose. We weren’t disappointed.
If it wasn’t for the heroics of Tomahawk, Cunners, Goldy, Shaw, Shiels, blah blah blah, we would have gotten close.

AC/DC: Lefty – Phillips, Simpkin
Chook – almost everyone


Rolf Harris: Lefty – the rest
Chook - Ducky, Kelly

RIP – PSD #1

Lyrical snapshot – “all my friends are fcuk-ups, but they’re fun to have around”


Cloud 9 Cockies 1294 vs Pressure(d) Blimps 1147

Poetic licence has been taken here. With no nominated Aussie band for this match up, young rapper Baker Boy sets the theme.
The white-hot Cockies are making one hell of a racket as they storm towards the finals.
A ding dong contest here but the home side walk off with a bounce in their step (god damn).

AC/DC: Cocky – Crouch, Steven, Miller, The Chad.
Blimp – May, Lyons, Titch

Rolf Harris: Cocky – Masten, Murray.
Blimp – Brown, Adams, Walters

RIP – Guim rucks.

Lyrical snapshot – “I’m on cloud 9 and I’m not coming down”


Black Magic Incorrigibles 1365 vs Over My Head Nuffers 1134

With the musical metaphors well and truly exhausted in the chat, I should probably give this one a wide berth.
Yeah right, in your dreams.
Pretty much a landslide for the Cows here, with somewhat sombre celebrations as they plumb the depths of their depth.
Actually, I can see a lot of similarities to the Lefties here. Both are weathering defensive woes with heroes hard to find.
And also, not to mention… no that’s it, no further comparisons.

The Cows will be hoping for the imminent return of McVeigh, Williams and Morrison and if not, perhaps Maguire and Chaplin, as they plot their premiership defence.

AC/DC: Cow – Mitchell, Dunkley, McGovern, Menegola, Prestia.
Nuff – Simpson, Geary, Dixon, Ebert.

Rolf Harris: Cow – Sauce, D4.
Nuff – Cordy, SPP, Grigg, R1

RIP – Cow backline

Lyrical snapshot – “You got diamonds in your eyes. Don’t get carried away”


Elegantly Wasted Vultures 1151 vs Kiss The Dirt Battlers 998

“This is the loss The Vultures had to have” spruiked a Keating-esque Fitzy, as he counted the cost of a forward line sh!tshow. After boasting regular scores inxs of 1400, the flag fancies gave the visitors a wee sniff.
Unfortunately, there was just not enough time for the Battlers as their young snappers once again chose to disappear.

AC/DC: Vult – Beams, Yeo, Parker.
Batt – Clarke, Taylor

Rolf Harris: Vult – Buddy, Hogan, Greene, Watts, LeCras.
Batt – Ronke, Weller, Acres, Ryan.

RIP – Buddy

Lyrical snapshot – “Mystify. Mystify me”


Long Way To The Top Packers 1080 vs Beating Around The Bush Devils 1313

Hells bells, yet another team going on a mean streak, post-bye in an effort to secure a finals gig.
The Devils have endured their fair share of pain this season, and the loss of Seedsman will rub further salt.
The Packers hold plenty of enviable talent, but no one really stood up to show they can be the Big Gun. The most intriguing part of this match up was the Nank/Daw side show, with Majak muscling in as the Ballbreaker.
Devils hoping that the planets align and gift them a path to salvation.

AC/DC: Devil – Pendles, Zorko, Heppell, Gresham, Membrey, Walla.
Packa – Daw, Mundy, ANB

Rolf Harris: Devil – Lynch.
Packa – McGrath, Wilson, Sloane

RIP – Seedsman

Lyrical Snapshot – “Hell ain’t a bad place to be”


Lost Control Spelunkers 1110 vs Rock Show Lilacs 1327

A last-minute headline substitute seems to have derailed an otherwise Just Ace Troggs outfit. Although the emergence of Hodor was a sight to behold, too many of the cave-kids were in virtual lockdown.
Anyhow, stuff all that.
This day was all about the Purple Haze Rock Show!

A truly coming of age experience, where a team of champions took a step to becoming a champion team. A tear was shed as young Stewart was helped off the ground, but the news sounds not so dire for the kid having a stellar season.

ACDC: Trogg – Merrett, Bont, SPS.
Haze – All of em!

Rolf Harris: Trogg – Fritsch and the backline
Haze - nil

RIP – Stewart

Lyrical snapshot – “Are you ready for a change to come. There’s already one, Already One!”


Don’t Dream Its Over Warriors 1037 vs Something So Strong Codpieces 1348

Ok so TiB’s mob just blew their last statistical chance of making finals…about five weeks ago. Many pundits (WTF is a pundit?) are scratching their heads as to how the Warriors managed to cobble together 8 wins this season. For what its worth, the Lefties have won two.
Keep scratching.

Most likely, the kids from Whitsunday have finally given into temptation and gorged on chocolate cake and donuts. Hats off to the Cods here as they kept both feet on the jugular as they silenced the whispers and moans about their aging fleet.

AC/DC: Warr – Wines, Polec
Knob – Macrae, Gaz, Burger, Stanley, Breust, JRoo

Rolf Harris: Warr – JJ, Holman, Simpson
Knob – Gray, Darling, Thompson

RIP – JJK

Lyrical snapshot – “Everything is good for you, if it doesn't kill you”


Trousers Down Uglies 956 vs Cheap Tent Show Misfits 1399

Well if only we all had a James Reyne up our sleeves to get the juices going.
Australian Crawl were seconded to Ugly-town on the Misfit caravan and boy did they turn it on.
On the park, a strong team effort by the visitors, with Len finding 15 ways to lead the Ugly boys astray. A well and truly downhearted Bama, with very little to cheer about (except perhaps a shot at the Les W award).

AC/DC: Ugly – Gawn, Sidey
Misfit – Murph, Kelly, Lloyd, Greenwood, Whitfield

Rolf Harris: Ugly – the lot (pretty much)
Misfit – Ward, Daniel

RIP – Heavymen (after a season long, sorrow-drowning stint)

Lyrical snapshot – “What a sing song dance, what a performance”