ORFFA 2018 - Round 8 review

Discussion in 'Blog' started by That KI Guy, May 14, 2018.

By That KI Guy on May 14, 2018 at 7:15 PM
  1. That KI Guy

    That KI Guy Moderator Staff Member

    Jan 3, 2016
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    Brought to you by the ever-rockin @graeme

    ORFFA Round eight –
    Rucking hell; farewell to andy, welcome to TTH

    Andy is the only ORFFAN I have met; a fun guy for sure. Sometimes we have to be strong and say “right now the real world is more important than the fantasy world.” I hope we all would have the strength to do that. Mate, I am sure you know you are always welcome to drop into ORFFA or Auckland. Stay good andy, hope to see your smiling face soon.

    TTH, what a guy – thanks for being willing to step in and help out. For that alone we already recognise you as an ORFFAN. Nice welcome to from the FIXtures committee: “why don’t you play the top of the table Vultures just to get an idea of how easy it will be to climb out of the cellar.” Still there are some tasty draft picks in the MSD to boost the squad and, of course, the internal debate as to whether to rename the team. Hobart Hopefuls? Launceston Losers? Tasmanian Transitions? I am confident you’ll work it out TTH.

    I like a theme to run through these missives. This week, every team has to field one. But not every team fields one and yet some teams field more than one. The consternation in our banter threads is one of the constants of ORFFA life. What am I talking about? It should be obvious - rucking hell. Jeez, some of them went big this week. Had some fun with Utube while putting this together, gosh there was some gret music “when I was young” – Eric Burdon and the Animals.

    Missings (1220) v Wombats (1261)

    The commish was a few short of a team but at least he had a ruck. Ryder (108) comfortably accounted for Lycett (86). However, the west coaster has played all eight games to date while Paddy has only made three appearances so far in 2018. He also has the curse of Gil’s Chinese experiment against him. So, if you cannot separate them on average (Ryder 80.7, Lycett 81.1) would you rather have Ryder’s total score of 242 or Lycett’s total of 649? Correct. Yep, it is easy to be wise in hindsight but this one is clear cut. Yet, there is something in the back of my brain that says Ryder has little competition for a game at Port, while Lycett is second to Nic Nat and has Vardy breathing down his neck (or so jimbo tells us). Some lessons there if you are going with one ruck in your squad. Note, Len also has Longer (the former #1 ruck at the aints) and Flynn an up and comer at guess where. So he has hedged his bets. Lenny, being young and risk seeking, has not. Three Degrees – “When will I see you again?”

    Codpieces (1237) v Uglies (888)

    Nathan Vardy has a tenuous link to a playing ruck, but jimbo has shown faith in him. Touching really, misplaced perhaps – but touching. Rhys Stanley is his back up. What a cute pair. Guess what they have in common? Both Librans? No. Both zeros this round? You got it. Things got a little ugly for the codpieces when bama’s boys turned up with Maxy (148). That’s a lot of points to start behind. For the visitors Leuenberger played a role most of us are familiar with, that of the non-rucking ruck. The ruck cupboard is pretty bare for both teams but Maxy’s durability means seldom are the Uglies “gawn” in that department. However, mimicking Maxy’x new lean physique, the battlers are pretty thin after Gawn. Brian Ferry – “Avalon” – especially the line “more than this …. Nothing.”

    Lilacs (1062) v Warriors (1242)

    Speaking of warriors, has anyone else noticed the improvement in the NZ Warriors in the NRL? No - didn’t think so.

    The Lilacs do not lack in the ruck department. Sinclair (94) has been a revelation this year (especially to former owners who include both Chris and me). Many of you will recall jelly guy trying to gazump Jen by drafting Darcy Cameron in the PSD. That turned out a bit like the LLL’s – good for a laugh but not much chop in the ruck area. The lovelys also have Sam Naismith as a further insurance option. Nice. The Warriors appeared to be playing a ruck – Lobb (107) – but CD decided he is a F. I admire TiB for insisting he is a ruck but the hand ain’t listening. Dawson Simpson is TiB’s back up. There was an extended power cut recently in my home town and having a gas hob top I was feeling a bit superior about having hot water and being able to cook. Unfortunately, the spark is electric. I am not saying Dawson is electric but I think you get the point. Dusty Springfield – “Wishing and Hoping.”

    Devils (1299) v Coal diggers (1188)

    The devils have opted for a three ruck strategy – Nank (111), Roughead of the west (dnp) and million $ Tommy (87). Terrific structure but dmandrews set Boyd as an emergency and he did not play. We all have choices to make and we know what happens when we have to make choices – yep, zugzwang. Not a problem Banditto faced as he chose correctly from Sam Hayes (0), John Ceglar (0) and Sean Darcy (0). Rucks are typically tall and love the outdoors, so the head coal digger chose half of SPS. Mothers’ Day must be particularly confusing for an apple islander; lunch and a few drinks with their mother, wife and sister could be awkward. It is probably stretching the bounds of comedy too far to imagine a scene with our two protagonists and one “lady” in a restaurant. Yep, an open restaurant in Tassie on a Sunday is stretching it too far. Misex – “Computer Games.”

    Battlers (1249) v Packers (847)

    JC has opted for the three from the same club approach to the ruck problem; Jarrod Witts (65), Brayden Crossley (53, albeit as an E) and Thomas Nicholls (0). Not necessarily elegant, but a viable battlers’ solution. The set and forget option has a lot to commend it. Barring horrific injuries, you have 100% of a ruck’s score week in and week out. Tracey has adopted a similar approach but has ended up with the meatloaf solution. Majak Daw (80) and Braydon Preuss (0) would be a terrific compliment to Goldy, but “two out of three ain’t bad.” However, both set ups have an eye on the future and will send many a side packing. Incredibly, that catchy Timbuck 3 song just came up on my music rotation. How apt.

    Nuffers (971) v Vultures (1346)

    One thing worse than not having a starting ruck, is having a good one who is suspended or injured. NicNat looked natty at the tribunal but that was about it. TTH’s strategy might be to build a team around him. Could work, but will be WIP (work in progress for those of you not part of the chosen race*) for some time. Fizzy, started with the duo of Kreuzer (127) and Stef Martin (112) - the latter was impressive in a losing lions’ team. Not that the top of the table Vultures have much experience at losing. Ironic that neither Fitzy nor Stef had a ruck to compete against. Bette Midler – “The wind beneath my wings.” (ruck me, how did that slip into a great music session?)

    * A chartered accountant mate calls those in his profession the chosen race. Luckily he has golf to fall back on as his “career” in comedy is going nowhere.

    Inflatables (1157) v Cows (1241)

    I have a theory that the CD team in the city of churches has not read the page of the manual that explains how to award points for ruck work. It means that cows’ management don’t have to face up to the reality that Sauce (51) is not that good anymore. The theory holds more water given that Paddy Ryder only scored 108 against Sauce. Beware rucking in SA. Thee cows ruck approach of three rucks from the same afl club will be test this week if Mr Jacobs is on birthing duties. The blimps have been afflicted by ruck disease but had a crack with Zac (Smith) this week and his 54 was a neat confirmation of the late Professor Stephen Hawkings’ little known afl theorem: 100% of an average players score will always exceed 50% of an average players score. So, 100% of 54 > 50% of the 46 his emergency ruck (K Jack) scored. QED. Nice one Stephen. As Chris will tell you “having a ruck occasionally is good for morale.” Joe Cocker – “Feeling alright’

    Chooks (1250) v Cockies (1280)

    CR’s ruck adventures have been well documented and many of us enjoyed the doco “you gotta know when to hold” so there was a delicious sense of schadenfreude when ant turned up with three (yes you read that correctly) playing rucks spread across the ruck line and the interchange line. And they went bang; Sandy (150) rolled back the years, Belly (97) had a laugh and Hickey (90) did well against the big Lurch. Enough rucking points to be quite cocky about. Historically our Chief has not been a man to be trifled with; Big Boy (99) stood up for the chooks but in turned out that Goldy (69) was more “brassy”. Ant and CR sides are both good examples of the scatter gun approach - if a ruck pops up draft it or trade for it. Steve Winwood, “If you see a chance, take it.”

    Hopers (1353) v Hopeless (655)

    Mild mannered sNOz dissed Mike when he opened the teams and banter thread for round 8. And with good reason – Darcy Cameron (0) and Archie Smith (0) is not the most feared combo in ORFFA. Not currently anyway. SnoZ knows it and so does Mike. Perhaps the Jelly Guy has been reading the thoughts of Warren Buffett on long term returns from investing? Perhaps not. On the other hand Grundy (137) is a star and Mason Cox (60) will retain his F/R designation for the foreseeable future. Nice handcuffing and so the ‘hoppers are sorted. Especially now the pies have worked out how to play together. I hope Jelly Guy is taking notes. “That’s how a superpower drafts”, at least I think that is what SnOz said just before the giant hopper mascot enveloped him. Crosby, Stills and Nash – Hopelessly Hoping.”

    And so another week in ORFFA draws to a close. Nine winners and nine losers; gosh, we are a very balanced community. I hope you were nice to your Mother and, if she is no longer with us, thought about her once or twice. Sonny and Cher – “The beat goes on.”
    Last edited: May 14, 2018
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Discussion in 'Blog' started by That KI Guy, May 14, 2018.

  • Tags:
    1. Lenny120
      Love it Graeme great review :)
    2. anthak
      Love it all. Laughed a lot... but especially at these bits:
      I didn’t actually get the point and I found the remark all the funnier because of that!

      • Like Like x 1
    3. Len
      Loved the theme follow, great stuff @graeme , we are blessed with a group of people who genuinely shine putting these together each week.
      The Misfits would have loved an extra 2 guys out there, well done @Lenny120
      • Like Like x 3
    4. TerryinBangkok
      Ah, the only thing missing apart from the rucks was the silverside.

      It could be worse. Some clubs lose their ruck and then downright refuse to give their #2 a go. Players union should be all over this. Geelong play eeny, meeny, miny, mo with their 3 and the Buzzard still doesn't know if he is coming or going. And if the weekend is anything to go by, Fyfe should get Ruck/Mid next year. And don't think it has gone unnoticed that Fitzy has got Oscar stashed away as well, just for playing keepings off.

      A game of centimetres for me next week.

      The man can cook, play golf with one hand and bridge with the other, all while penning a review.
      • Like Like x 2
    5. Bandit
      Do I see plagiarism in stealing my meatloaf reference from last week?

      Cracking review nonetheless @graeme
      • Like Like x 1
    6. graeme
      Fair cop Banditto, I recall reading the sentence (but could not remember where) and thinking "that's clever."

      Re Oscar, I only looked at last week's teams. Fitzy has a lot of talent tucked away, and the Vultures are strong as well.

      Thank you for the comments, hope others get some pleasure from my little offering.
      • Like Like x 1
    7. That KI Guy
      That KI Guy
      Love these music references mate.
      A beautiful piece of work.

      The whipping boys hit an all time low, despite actually fielding half a ruck this week.
      Young Ainsworth can hold his head high and will undoubtedly get the gig for the rest of the season.
      Something tells me I should have gone with my gut and drafted 6 rucks a few months ago...
      • Like Like x 1
    8. JC
      Thanks for the write up, @graeme . I enjoyed the fresh approach.
      • Like Like x 1
    9. snoz
      Excellent review and penmanship my good friend. Loved the read !!!
      • Like Like x 1
    10. Bandit
      Clever and my name aren’t often words seen together
      • Like Like x 1
    11. TerryinBangkok
      Yep. More often than not it is "get" and "stuffed".
      • Like Like x 4
    12. jimbowan
      Excellent read mate! Rucks in ORFFA are a bit like my married sex life, you badly want one, and you are trying to play one, but more than not you are getting zeros most weeks
      • Like Like x 3
    13. JC
      If that's the case, I'm guessing you have pay overs when you try to trade for one as well?
    14. jimbowan
      Always pay overs mate and they always turn out 'not as advertised' :)
      • Like Like x 3
    15. TheTassieHawk
      Cheers for the welcome @graeme and I also say well done on a cracking review

      A 375 point belting from the Vultures was a slight improvement on a 428 point smashing the week previous from the Cockatoos and I am confident the Nuffers can get within 300 points of a win and hopefully also nudge the 1000 point barrier sometime very soon !

      Hobart Hopefuls? Launceston Losers? Tasmanian Transitions?

      At this stage there aren’t any planned changes, it is possible we will keep the current name unchanged or use either of the Nunawading or Nuffers monikers or pick something fresh once I have checked out where the other ‘FA franchises are located.

      The only sure bet is I won’t be encroaching on the Devils, Spelunkers and Packers turf, however I do look forward to using my local knowledge to the Nuffers advantage in Round 9 vs @Bandit ’s mob
      • Like Like x 1

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