ORFFA Round 16 Review

Discussion in 'Blog' started by That KI Guy, Aug 1, 2019.

By That KI Guy on Aug 1, 2019 at 8:26 AM
  1. That KI Guy

    That KI Guy Moderator Staff Member

    Jan 3, 2016
    Likes Received:
    Listen up kiddies. Your regularly scheduled reviewer has lapsed into a post-holiday, work-trudgery semi-coma, so you got me instead.
    I’m Mrs Walladge, the Goonies tuck shop head of catering.
    Think of your stereotypical, 1980’s blue-rinsed, meek and mild, lovable home cook; now picture the exact opposite. I’m the straight-shooting, spade a spade, no fcuks given dragon-lady formerly of Starcourt Mall.
    So, shut up, form and orderly queue and take your medicine.

    For the uninitiated, here’s the award system I work to:

    The Package award (a Double Crumbed Sausage Sanga with a Fruitbox on the side - the gold standard of lunch orders) – to the BOG, the complete game, the gun…you get it.

    The Sunnyboy award – to the new kid on the block showing how it’s done.

    The Sherbet Fountain award – to the blue-mooner shooting his metaphorical load all over the shop.

    The Redskin/Chicco award (or any other PC-unfriendly treat you can think of) – to the bad form bunion in a cringeworthy performance.

    Wagga Wagga Wombats 1239 def Whitsunday Warriors 1056

    Warriors with a finals berth on the line. Trying to cut my lunch as the chief donut seller. No, you don’t!
    Enter the wet sail Wombats to kick sand in everyone’s eyes.

    Package – Lycett!
    Sunnyboy – Rozee
    Sherbie – Setterfield (I fell the need, the need for Teague)
    Redskin – Roughead (see ball, get ball…in face)

    Package – Boak!
    Sunnyboy – Ben King (in the 2s)
    Sherbie – JJK (7 straight if you don’t mind)
    Redskin – Hitler-esque Tarrant

    Marble Bar Misfits 1168 def by Iron Knob Codpieces 1188

    Well no one said this game was fair, did they?
    With an injury list to rival Collingwood, the Misfits gladly welcomed back Ryder and Weller. But, no matter how sweet it smells, puttying a gaping hole with honey is never a healthy fix.

    Package – Daniel
    Sunnyboy – Taranto (boy o boy, wowee)
    Sherbie – Answerth
    Redskin – Laverde

    Package – Macrae
    Sunnyboy – H Clark
    Sherbie – Darling
    Redskin – Gaz (feels wrong but anyhow, bite me)

    Nowhere Else Wanderers 1046 def by Lovely Banks Lilacs 1305

    Ok showing my hand here. Unashamedly parochial towards the Girl Power of the comp and may have slipped the home side a Peyote Pancake or two. Probably needn’t have bothered.
    Cake walk.

    Package – Walters
    Sunnyboy –Hind
    Sherbie – Lyons (a month long Sherbie)
    Redskin – Newnes (can’t even do half a ruck job well)

    Package – Duncan
    Sunnyboy – Wilkie
    Sherbie – Ross (finally)
    Redskin – Stewart (though 74 is nothing to sneeze at)

    Nareewillock Nuffers 905 def by Cradle Mountain Devils 1420

    Rumour has it that if you stare too long into the Devil’s eyes, they’ll take your soul. Not sure if the Nuffers had much soul left but the last of it definitely got sucked out in this game. Devils not in white hot form like the cobalt kids but super consistent with a few guys starting to hit their straps.

    Package – Clurey (telling if this guy gets the Package)
    Sunnyboy – Duursma
    Sherbie – SJ Reid
    Redskin – Brown

    Package – Zorko!
    Sunnyboy – Marshall!!
    Sherbie – Redden
    Redskin – Breust

    Birdsville Battlers 1086 def by Foul Bay Chickens 1505

    Ok, who the hell spiked the slushie machine with cobalt?
    This is getting beyond a joke!
    Battlers offered little resistance to the Blue-birds of unfriendliness.

    Package – Treloar
    Sunnyboy – B Smith
    Sherbie – Witts
    Redskin – Witherden

    Package – Goldy (quietly killing it)
    Sunnyboy – Kelly
    Sherbie – Selwood, Big boy, Tomahawk (raffle it)
    Redskin – Sheppard

    Waikikamoocow Incorrigibles 1053 def by Gundagai Grasshoppers 1365

    In what can only be described as a desecration of the holy shrine to all bush cooks and rural canteen workers, the beloved
    Dog of Gundagai was unceremoniously dethroned amid ugly post-match rioting by Cow supporters abroad. Retaliation by the COC has been swift, with reports that NZ is no longer regarded as a two-island nation.

    Package – Fyfe
    Sunnyboy – ROB (understatement)
    Sherbie – Prestia
    Redskin – Papley

    Package – Er, like the entire midfield and ruck dept
    Sunnyboy – Dawson (lamentable trade, among many)
    Sherbie – Stringer (never getting the Package award from me)
    Redskin – Milera

    Mount Beauty Uglies 1194 def by Gariwerd Cockatoos 1386

    The Cockies post-bye form funk gets a reprieve. Too little, too late for the geriatrics of the comp as a post-season review beckons. The Uglies have somehow managed to string 5 wins together and could start to make inroads again once their number 1 ticket holder takes over the reins.;)

    Package – Gawn
    Sunnyboy – Walsh
    Sherbie – Hartlett
    Redskin – Cotchin’s hammies

    Package – JPK
    Sunnyboy – an extensive search has uncovered zero youth
    Sherbie – Miller
    Redskin – Crouch

    Charlies Opening Spelunkers 1128 def Larrikin Lagoon Lefties 1026

    Seriously, does anyone give a pangolin’s left nut about this game. Reckon about five people showed up for this, of which three were lost tourists from a misguided adventure caving outing.
    How do you tank for 17th without openly displaying said agenda? Both teams gave it their best crack, but the Lefties took the chocolates.

    Package – Bont
    Sunnyboy – Stack
    Sherbie – Bonner
    Redskin – Atkins

    Package – Worpel
    Sunnyboy – Clark
    Sherbie – Dumont
    Redskin – Daicos

    Wineglass Bay Packers 825 def by Venus Bay Vultures 1227

    Despite an ugly performance this week, Tracey will no doubt take comfort in spruiking the better 4-game form line for the household. Vultures no doubt see themselves as making up the numbers here but the return of a star or two could see them stir the finals up a bit.

    Package – Couldn’t find it this week, think it’s in the mail
    Sunnyboy – Lukosius
    Sherbie – Lynch
    Redskin – Mumford

    Package – Gaff
    Sunnyboy – McCarthy
    Sherbie – Simmo
    Redskin – Parker
    • Like Like x 6


Discussion in 'Blog' started by That KI Guy, Aug 1, 2019.

  • Tags:
    1. graeme
      short and sweet, just like the lefties win sequence.
      • Like Like x 3
    2. TheTassieHawk
      Very harsh on Tom Clurey @That KI Guy - but not particularly unfair either.

      As for the Round 16 Nuffers effort, I am actually too traumatised to check whether this was the worst scoring effort of the year or in Nuffers history but it is undisputable that we are actually performing much worse with 15 onfield most of the time than we did with 11-12 players featuring in 2018. Player agents have been inundating the switchboard with a deluge of requests not to draft their players next February/March but unless the ORFFA offseason trade market is beset with reasonably priced talent we will have no choice but to do exactly that.

      Congrats to the Devils @dmandrews who were numerous classes above this time around and will no doubt be looking for bigger fish to fry later on in August.
      • Like Like x 2
    3. JC
      Thanks, @That KI Guy . One minor correction, though. The Battlers entry should have said "Redskin - defenders and forwards".
      • Like Like x 4
    4. Len
      Brief and accurate mate :)
      • Like Like x 2
    5. snoz
      Nice work Jelly Man.......
      • Like Like x 3
    6. Bandit
      Still shitty about the win, get stuffed
      • Like Like x 2
    7. TerryinBangkok
      Highly detailed analysis. Would you be interested in joining our coaching team?
      Plenty of free food - you can even have Wines with your doughnuts.
      • Like Like x 1

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