Courtesy of @graeme

Round 17 (AFL round 20), the final H&A round for 2016

The Lefties Round; The Latin adjective sinister/sinistra/sinistrum originally meant "left" but took on meanings of "evil" or "unlucky" … and in English "sinister". In French, droit(e) means both "right" and "straight" (humph). While gauche means "left" and is a synonym of maladroit, literally "not right", perhaps "clumsy". In Sanskrit, the word "वाम" (waama) stands for both "left" and "wicked." So a fun round looked likely if viewed from the right or should that be the left? Oh, our review looks at things a little differently – why are you surprised?

Despite excellent prescience from the FIXtures Committee in scheduling fixtures that should have been critical to the composition of the top eight most of the final positions on the ladder were determined before the round began. The numbers in parenthesis were the ladder standings going into the final round.


Larrikin Lagoon [2] 1291 defeated Foul Bay [1] 1218

The bookies’ pets were far enough ahead of the Lefties to probably maintain their first pick in the finals advantage. The penultimate fixture of the round presented us with the prospect of Danger and Ducky performing what many pundits assumed would be the coup de grace;except Chris Scott decided to indulge in the sort of shenanigans Sam Newman might have thought were OTT. While Danger (who must be in his own SC team) decided to win his first round finals match the only way he knew possible the head Leftie (Lucifer?) drew a line in the sand and denied the chooks a win away from home. Sam Day’s 32 was trumped by BJ’s 36, and with many similar small gains the LLL eked out a victory which may be the entrée for the round 23 final. But who would you have as favourite now?


Iron Knob [3] 964 were defeated by Mount Beauty [4] 1468

Equal on 44 points before the round there was a lot to play for, viz the third choice of first round opponent. Jimbo had just sobered up enough to enter a team (will I have a ruck man this week?) when he realised the codpiece had so many holes it resembled a colander he ordered a double Ricard with a Kahlua chaser. An Ugly outcome looked possible and so it proved for the 13 man sieves. Robbie Gray’s 53 was symptomatic of the colander’s struggle which meant IK had to content themselves with a marginally better draft pick in their quest for a ruck man. And what of the Uglies? Have they elbowed their way into the big dance in round 23? Perhaps, especially if there is less ugliness from Reid and Maynard (both 49) and Petracca (63) while the non-ugly scores continue. Do we write off IK? The answer reposes in the injury room.


Marble Bar [16] 1086 were defeated by Gariwerd [5] 1394

On paper this appeared as one-sided as Novak Djokovic v a qualifier at Wimbledon. With Gariwerd’s first service on Song (see what I did there?) a doughnut match looked possible. With no Misfit raising his bat it would be churlish to single anyone out, but Hampson’s 40 in returning ant’s first serve was not ORFFA standard. A long season for the Commish’s mob is nearly over. For the Cocky ones Steven (56) and Wingard (64) may face an anxious few days before team naming Thursday. With the depth in the side I suggest they will not be selected as first round opponents by the top three sides. I suggest the colanders might well await the new kids on the block.


Wineglass Bay [18] 1179 were defeated by Darraweit Guim [6] 1252

At first glance this looked like the sort of match that ChiefBet™ would be too embarrassed to frame a market for. The visiting inflatables were well coached by Chris (stick round bro, we love you) who wisely put a set of brackets around Michael Walters 41 points. Every week the Packers future looks brighter and their 1179 – despite Seedsman’s 27 - would have been welcome in many teams. Bravo Tracey, I dip my chapeaux. Perhaps Prap is smiling or perhaps he has retired to the Antarctic. BTW, was that nothing more than air leaking from the blimp or was there more to worry about. It is tough in the top division bro and you need some more 120+ scores not the Brown (35) or DBJ (36) type contributions. Will Chris find the repair kit in time?


Birdsville [7] 1213 defeated Waikickamoocow [10] 1101

A bit of a “sinistra” match this one with both teams claiming underdog status; it soon became apparent that it was JC who had (in the context of this game) spoken with the more forked tongue. Chels’s baker’s dozen proved to be no match for the Battlers in the heat of the Q hinterland. JC pulled some John Travolta ala Saturday Night Fever moves - just how much influence does he have at the Lions? – Nick Robertson’s 9 points was a case in point. But they were more sideshow than main event. Dan Menzel’s injury (18 points) – that’s abductor not deductor – has graeme worried and would have had the conspiracy theorists’ tongues wagging.


Venus Bay [8] 1159 defeated Wagga Wagga [9] 1091

For many watchers this was the match of the round – school yard bragging rights up for grabs and a year of winds up about top eight status as opposed to second level mediocrity. There was a terrific sub-plot - how would the transient Jasper Pittard perform for Fitzy’s mob against his former team mates or would Lenny once again grin at a great school yard trade? The battle of the younger ones did not disappoint. Well, when it counted Jasper performed like a trained seal and was just about the difference between the two sides. For Lenny, Dom Sheeds return to service with 30 points was disappointing and might have been the difference had it not been for Dempsey’s lazy 55. Real potential in both of these line ups, just not exposed this week.


Cradle Mountain [11] 1183 defeated Nanawading [15] 1022

Two teams winding down disappointing seasons had little to play for other than the cold comfort (a semi private joke) of draft positions and the affections of Melbany’s Majorettes (aka the Nunawading Tatts or should that be Tarts?). Perhaps it was the latter that invigorated the devils? The Nuffers seemed to be mourning the loss of their King Street clubhouse. Both Sexton (17) and Dixon (27) made valiant attempts at posting the bar’s number. For the home team the interchange bench of T Boyd (30) and Himmelberg (43) both gained some experience which will make the devils a better side in 2017. Before then it would not surprise if they have a decent run in the Zac Dawson.


Charlies Opening [12] 1300 defeated Whitsunday [13] 1187

Despite the dross in Boomer’s memoirs there was no place for a Banditto anecdote. For a Spelunker this game was to be as enjoyable as the final chapter of a Wayne Carey romantic novel. Meanwhile TiB would invite all and sundry to the nearest Tiki Bar™ to recount details of a fine win before jumping on the big silver budgie back to BKK, or perhaps DMK. Well that’s what my pre-match notes said. However, the “Power” had other ideas and deserted one of their long-time supporters. Amon (29) and Boak (58) being the principle offenders. Operating underground was not to the liking of Keays (38) or Davis (58) but their team mates proved adept at operating the heavy machinery. Strong contenders for the Zac Dawson me thinks.


Lovely Banks [17] 1293 defeated Gundagai [14] 1274

Apparently sighting grasshoppers amongst lilacs is a gardener’s nightmare. However, Jen set about earning back to back wins and destroying sNoZ’s longest winning streak (two) since the inaugural ORFFA season. NY NY natives who switched off the snooze that is the Olympics and switched onto the endeavours of their favourite Australian son would have been reminded of the Mets of yesteryear. The gallantry of the Lilacs would have inspired many cheers, albeit many would have been of the Bronx variety. While the ‘hopper’s midfield (FFS, described as “the future”™) performed, “the package”™ (51) and young Brayshaw (50) proved to be the difference. No such problems in the Lilac garden despite Trengove (31) and Stanley (51) seeming to not appreciate the heavy doses of publicity fertiliser they received recently.


Best of luck to all in the finals.