@chris88 has brilliantly covered how footy used to be. I’ve only been following for 26 years so some of it was news to me. This review takes a broader, free form view of Retro. One player was selected from each FA team on Thursday morning (OK, they were a couple of revisions). Home team first. A story line attempted. Life, fashion, music, nicknacks contributed to the diatribe minus any bitterness. Perhaps more nostalgia than retro, your scribe begs forgiveness. Cradle Mountain Devils 1144 vs Wagga Wagga Wombats 1101 Scott Pendlebury – aka Dependablebury – retro covers the time span of a 430 games (to date) and counting career. Pick #5 in the 2005 National Draft, debuted in 2006. This guy has seen fashions come and go. What was trendy when he was young is now retro. BTW, he used to play Basketball. How could I not name check Sergeant (Lachlan) Schultz from Hogan’s Heroes (a TV show that ran from 1965 to 1971) – “I know nothing. Nothing!” Scott scored 96 SC while Lachlan contributed 54 SC in Naicos’s 100th game. Tom Liberatore – the mullet, the mustache, side burns Elvis would have been proud of. Tom has been rocking the quintessential retro look for so long that it is almost fashionable again. Some would say it never went out of fashion in Footscray. What is unfashionable is how the nearly 34 years old body of Libba is letting him down. Not to mention talking to “Prince Harry.” 64 SC in 37% game time says he has still got it, but time may be catching up with him – sadly concussed just before half time. Nareewillock Nuffers 1421 vs Mount Beauty Uglies 1210 Warner Brothers (not Chad and Corey of the swans) is about to disappear as Paramount Skydane appears to have won the battle for control of Warner Bros Discovery the last remnant to be spun-off out of Warner Bros founded in 1923. Have I got that right? Anyhow, Chad 95 SC was busier than is normal (he misses his mate Errol who is currently in Europe) with greater opportunities. BTW, Corey 28 SC is not a Nuffer. Christian Salem, Salem was introduced in 1956 as the first filtered menthol cigarette. Salem eventually dominated the menthol category. Sadly, Christian was out with a foot fracture. So, our back-up plan had to be swung into action. Many shoes and boots go in and out of fashion but the ugg boot is generic foot ware that is somehow old and new. What could be more comfortable than watching the footy in a pair of ugg boots on a winter’s day? Combining both a look so current and so retro at the same time. Venus Bay Vultures 990 vs Lovely Banks Lilacs 1134 Fun Fact. “Houston, we have a problem” is the well-known Hollywood quote but that is a misquotation of what was actually said (“Okay, Houston. I believe we’ve had a problem here”) during the ill-fated Apollo 13 mission to the moon. Fancy a movie not being accurate. Dan Houston has become a “problem” in SC. Since his trade from Port Albert his previous average score in 2023 and 2024 of 106 has fallen dramatically to 80 in 2025 and 88 this year. This week Dan scored 87 SC. Another nomenclature issue for the vultures has been the trials and tribulations of the “House and Family of Windsor.” Andrew, as all you loyal royal watchers know, has lost the royal title and is now plain Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor. The royals seem to be in disarray. A couple of east coast cities were lucky enough to host Harry and Meghan who are classified as “working royals” so it is not a royal visit just a highly profitable one. Despite all the machinations going on Caleb (Windsor) seems to be a thoroughly fine likeable chap who is going to be a star; albeit, a little bit stalled at present (57 SC). Just cannot resist noting his teammate at VVV, Jagga Smith (64 SC) was apparently not named after Sir Michael Philip Jagger. Lilac (well maybe magenta) coloured bell bottom trousers for both women and men were a fashion item in the ‘70’s. I am sure you will all be interested to know that your scribe rocked a pair of crimson bell bottoms. Still got them. I wonder if, like much retro gear, they will make a comeback. Apparently, wine casks are making somewhat of a comeback. Which leads us to Ollie Wines. Do you remember when you could buy wine by the cask? When the wine was finished the cardboard outer was opened, the empty bladder inflated for use as a pillow to help sleep off the after affects. Brilliant. Ollie is 31 and a half years old so he may well have been familiar with cask wine. His Port side belied their table position and almost rolled the hawks thanks to his efforts (88 SC). Junee Jaguars 1067 vs Gariwerd Cockatoos 1199 Disco. From its Afro / American origins in the 60’s through to the European influenced discotheque of the 70’s it’s a big thumbs down from me. With one notable exception: Donna Summers “Love to love you baby”. To paraphrase Bob Seger: if you take him to a disco “in 10 minutes he’ll be late for the door.” Just “give me that old time rock and roll.” Some of you will have worked out where this is going. Yup, Dan “Disco” Turner. Have no idea how he got the nickname nor what position he plays on-field. Does not matter; his 90 SC was vital in the dees surprise win over the reigning champs. Speaking of Tsatas’s, Elijah turned in a very tasty 101 while seated on the Interchange substitutes bench. Riley Bice – for those of you who have not been paying attention - is nicknamed “Miami” as in Miami Vice. Miami Vice was a police procedure TV series (1984 – 1989) set in Miami (dah, where else) aimed at the MTV generation. Watch one episode and you have seen every episode. The show personifies some aspects of that era. Speedboats, exotic European cars, drugs. Yep. a great time to be alive. Riley Bice (keep up) is a defender for the swans who looked like an outcast (villain?) in pre-season but fought his way back into the best 23. Doing good things. Scored 70 SC in the second of Friday night’s doubleheader. Birdsville Battlers 1264 vs Gundagai Grasshoppers 1328 I’ll resist the urge to mention Bailey Sniff while talking about the Battlers. I guess it’s nostalgia rather than retro, but I just wish we currently had a Kennedy in the White House (you know, Camelot and all that). Life would be so much more pleasant. No assassinations, driving misdemeanors; hang on. Anyway, had that thought and up popped the name Matthew Kennedy – apparently no relation. A dependable player (100 SC) who has got the job done at each his three clubs to date. Nice pick-up JC. Wasn’t he once known as “Bam Bam”? I was going to post a (what I thought) was a humorous piece based on Jordan Dawson. Just cannot do that now. Loved him when he was a swan, was looking forward to seeing him play. Sadly, tragedy hit the family and understandably Jordan chose family over footy. Condolences to the family, hope you find that there is light at the end of the tunnel. Charlies Opening Spelunkers 1481 vs Wineglass Bay Packers 1137 The Cavemen were among those who celebrated Mark Blicav’s 300th (93 SC) game in a storied career. Was probably the first player to have held all four positions on the fantasy football field, and excel in each. Jezza Cameron with 10.1 certainly made it a night to remember unless you are a doggies fan. Could not overlook that Jesse Hogan (Hogan’s Heroes – see above) did not play. Quick quiz: Which actor played the part of Colonel Robert E Hogan in the TV series? [1] To me Colonel Sanders’ image is that of the quintessential Southern Gentleman. There must be something in the secret 11 herbs and spices that defies the ageing process. I swear he looks the same as when I had my first taste of KFC over 50 years ago. Young Ryley Sanders (92 SC) is keeping the family name alive and is showing us how those same herbs and spices help athleticism. One of the few bright lights in a bad evening for the dogs. Waikickamoocow Incorrigibles 1113 vs Shark Bay Tigersharks 1155 Coleman’s Mustard, the container has changed but not the taste - sharp. They used to say the mustard left on your plate after a meal was Coleman’s profit. Great to have Kiddy back after he missed 2025 (as did Nic Newman). Last year Fages noted that Kiddy had bought a house. Nothing special you might think. It turns out he is the first person in his family to own their own home. Wow. Sharp describes his play. Kiddy scored 90 SC in the close loss to Melbourne. I am too mature to have fun with the name Sheezel. Who am I trying to fool? Cheezels – introduced in 1971. Made from corn and rice and (of course) cheddar cheese. Since 2017 they have been gluten free which I guess opens up a new market. For a kiwi the Australian cheezel is a surprise. Used to a mild taste at home, the Australian version comes on strong. A bit like the stereotypical Aussie. But, back to Harry. Excellent drafting by Norf. 2023 Rising Star. Central to their resurgence. A cool 141 SC in the clinical demolition of Chris’s disappointing tiges. Larrikin Lagoon Lefties 1143 vs Iron Knob Codpieces 1022 “Sweet as” is Kiwi slang for excellent, fantastic, great. And that is what Jordan Sweet has been for the LLL – when he has played as solos ruck. Man, they have had some personnel changes, and injuries, with Ruck combinations at Port. Sweet’s 70 SC was very much back-ended and affected by a decision to go with two rucks. The other, Dante Visentini, came up with 50 SC. Which brings us to the “Prison Bars.” That is a proper retro look for a club that traces its foundations back to 1870. But “Lock it in Eddie” thought his club had dibs on anything to do with prisons.[2] Thank goodness more sane heads now prevail. For the Knobs it must be Luke McDonald one of those genuine defenders (dare I say bland) who puts in week in, week out. This week a very workmanlike 93 SC. I have no idea of his nickname but I’ll punt on “the Golden Arches” for obvious reasons. The first McDonalds opened in 1941, now there are >40,000 outlets. They pioneered the idea that a big Mac should taste the same in Iron Knob as it does in Melbourne. Yep, bland. But it seems that is what a large number of consumers want. What we want is more W(in)s for the Knobs. Not soon. Now. [1] American actor Bob Crane. [2] That might not be correct, but it is meant to be a fun piece.