ORFFA Round 4 review

Discussion in 'ORFFA' started by That KI Guy, Jul 4, 2020.

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  1. That KI Guy

    That KI Guy Moderator Staff Member

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    Not sure if this is irony or just general injustice, but after the round we have just witnessed, its with moderate sorrow that I announce… the lamest review to end all lame reviews.


    Gundagai Grasshoppers 1406 def by Foul Bay Chickens 1430

    How the hell are the Chooks on top of the ladder?
    Who is this Todd Goldstein character?
    Where did the Chief unearth this never-ending bucket of secret herbs and spices that he sprinkles on his team every preseason?

    Top tussle this one and hard to split the honors beyond the four points.

    BOG – the Suitcase
    Most improved – Danger
    Magoo walk up – Hoppers fwd line


    Gariwerd Cockatoos 1179 def Cradle Mountain Devils 1038

    I remember a time not that long ago that the Cockies were pretty shit. A lot of hand sanitizer has flowed under the bridge since then, and Ant’s mob now find themselves firmly entrenched in no mans land and wearing the new title of “not quite as shit”.

    Not sure either of these teams are fooling anyone to be honest, with plenty of mush being puttied over with the odd cameo here and there.

    More questions than answers in this game. Like,,,whose idea was it to recruit Jack Steven?
    And Why wasn’t I invited to Pearce Hamley’s 50th?

    BOG – the Chad
    Most improved – Pendles
    Magoo walk up – Steven, J.


    Nareewillock Nuffers 1231 def Wagga Wagga Wombats 1223


    Now this was a hum-dinger (kids still say that, right?)
    Arguably a match up devoid of any noticeable mid field presence with the pig skin just being torped back and forth over the top of the centre square.
    It turns out that Charlie loves clunking missiles, and probably single-handedly steered the Nuffers over the line here.
    The Wombat defenders toiled admirably but were let down by a comatose front half.

    BOG – Charlie
    Most improved – B Smith
    Magoo walk up – Melksham


    Venus Bay Vultures 1444 def Marble Bar Misfits 1229

    Not entirely sure who coined the term bitter sweet victory, but it makes no sense to me.
    From now on, every time a toxic cliché like this pops into my head im gonna have a shot of Bourbon.
    Now wehre wsa I, thsas rihgt its nsxet tueday and this inst finshed yet.
    Feel sorry o=for the Misfits theyr a plucky bunch of pramkters, all high pwerformy and loosy and stuff.
    Bloody Docherty, he can really spoil a prarty.

    Hope Jeremy is back soon cos the Vultures might struggle without him. Like the way Victoria might struggle if Dan Andrews fell into a misplaced well or something.

    BOG – er let me think on this
    Most improved – Jssper
    Magoo walk up – Toml;inssson


    Iron Knob Codpieces 1009 def by Lovely Banks Lilacs 1156

    Wow talk about cringe-worthy trainwreck.
    More injuries, shithouse performances, sucky reviewing.
    Its a good thing the AFL have shortened quarters this year cos im sure 2 hrs of playing time would have the most players on life support.

    A few shining lights here.
    1. Dan Butler
    2. Dan Butler
    3. Port’s team mentality

    BOG – Dan Butler
    Most Improved - Dan Butler
    Magoo Walk up – Dan Andrews


    Mount Beauty Uglies 1182 def Wineglass Bay Packers 826

    Now what the hell is going on in Wineglass Bay?
    Is there some sort of pandemic playing out that im not aware of?
    Actually, scrap that line of thought. What the f#ck are the Uglies doing in the top 8?
    Not a flawless victory for Zombie coach Bama, but a stutter here and there this week will be quickly rectified moving forward.

    BOG – Gawn
    Most improved – Cotch
    Magoo walk up – Wilson


    Waikikamoocow Incorrigibles 1316 def Larrikin Lagoon Lefties 1162

    Who doesn’t love a good donut every now and then? Lefties have turned “now and then” into a weekly ritual over the years. If I had a dollar for every donut I served up…Id have enough money to replace my copy of “1001 metaphors and anecodes to stupefy” that got torched 6 months ago.
    Let’s be honest, we probably painted ourselves into a corner by running a five-defender squad. And rucks…don’t even go there.
    Hats off to the Cows, who played a more consistent brand on the day.

    BOG – Robbo
    Most improved – Berry
    Magoo walk up – Jones


    Birdsville Battlers 1068 def Nowhere Else Wanderers 936


    Not many positives to take out of this one. Thankfully Covid has kept many punters from having to witness this sort mire. Wanderers probably set a record here for the most number of tons without hitting 4 figures. Records can be positive. Granted both these teams are sorta in rebuild mode, so I spose that’s a plausible excuse. Word is that Tom Green is almost tall enough to ruck, so perhaps that’s an option for Dave.

    BOG – Witts
    Most Improved – Titch
    Magoo Walk up – Take your pick


    Charlies Opening Spelunkers 1101 def by Whitsunday Warriors 1148

    Well isn’t Mr TiB all up and about and crowing!
    Like me, most pundits wrote the Warriors off about 5 years ago, with many perceiving we were running a 17-team comp.
    From out of nowhere, the Whitsunday crew have ascended into mediocrity and have everyone on notice. That said, this wasn’t exactly a fair fight, with the Troggs scrapping it out with half a dozen other teams to hold the mantle of “who’s shittest”.

    Popular and completely unbiased opinion suggests that Travis Boak is killing it this year and definitely elevating the Warriors to new heights. For the kids in the hole, there’s so much talent that people will queue to watch. Just not sure how long you can stare at this glacier before you go blind.

    BOG – Bont
    Most improved – Higgins
    Magoo walk up - Stack
     
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  2. TerryinBangkok

    TerryinBangkok Moderator Staff Member

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    Short, but very, very sweet.

    Only one smallish error - you never put TiB and "crow" in the same sentence.

    Would be most grateful if you would send a copy of your comments on Whitsunday to Ollie.
     
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  3. ChiefRussell

    ChiefRussell Well-Known Member

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    How the hell am I on top, indeed? (Legitimate question, I’m not sure either)

    Can only think it is the rebuild that I have been promising for years.

    Or Goldstein.

    Probably Goldstein.
     
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  4. snoz

    snoz Well-Known Member

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    Love it - great stuff Mike !!
     
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  5. anthak

    anthak Moderator Staff Member

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    Nice one, @That KI Guy
    These two teams have long been battling it out for the most mediocre team in the ORFFA. However Cradle Mountain have had a better run of it over the past couple of years. Now they've dropped back to our level again :)

    Dont you worry about Jack Steven, we traded Brett Deledio for him in the preseason of 2016 and we have stuck by him through thick and thin... except that he has been subsequently dropped for round 5 and has had a good game in the magoos...
     
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  6. Bandit

    Bandit Moderator Staff Member

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    Great review Mike... not sure how many bourbons ha dbeen consumed, but the Spelunkers are very very shit.... what's a word to describe a mediocre level of mediocrity?
     
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  7. graeme

    graeme Well-Known Member

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    Are you being vainglorious in your team's mediocrity? :confused:
     
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  8. Bandit

    Bandit Moderator Staff Member

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    I'm not sure mate, I often use big words that I don't understand the meaning of to make myself sound more photosynthesis
     
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  9. HeavyMen

    HeavyMen Active Member

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    Write ups good, scores are great....loving life in the top eight. Next!!!
     
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