Chooks 1128 def by Battlers 1157
An unexpected loss sees the Foul Bay scratchers downing a pint of reality.
The young, rebuilding Battlers beat up on what is normally a stellar mid-field with Blakely tagging like a pimple-faced teenage nightfill. With Birdsville’s defence choking the cockadoodle out of the chooks forwards, an upset was looming. Finally, in what arguably summed up the Chooks weekend, Mumford blinded by flea dust, accidentally tackled team mate Libba and had him seeing stars like a bad Foghorn cartoon.
Spelunkers 1032 def by Hoppers 1228
In a season where the sophisticated interface that is ts leagues has flommoxed the most savvy campaigners, Bandit’s Troggs woke up to Groundhog Day. Bont (141) and BigBoy (125) played out of their skins but were no match for the slap-happy Hoppers.
Eternal patience and smart trading has snoz giggling like a fat, rich locust on Viagra. Rocky was down but Neale (124) and Adams (120) steadied the ship supported by a solid forward line turnout.
Welcome to the sunshine snoz, hopefully you left me some decent wine downstairs.
Packers 1079 def by Nuffers 1241
In what was billed to be a tight contest, the Nuffers snapped out of their celler-dwelling funk to bring the noise to a sleepy Freycinet outfit. The Nuffers engine room still spluttered along but Simmo and Charlie drooped a couple of circa 150s to carry the can. Sloane continues on his brownlow-fancied form at the Bay while ANB and Matera revert back to their historic mean. Under performance was the story of the match for the Packers as many an old dog fell flat with barely enough zip to lick the Nuffers boots.
Lilacs 1065 def by Vultures 1376
Throughout a weekend of mid-field mayhem, the flag favourites reinforced their strength across the board as they comfortably dismantled the Purple Haze. With a rock-solid defence lead by Doc (149) and killer forward set up (Yeo 150) the Vultures we able to quickly putty over the sub-par ruck, mid and I/C efforts. Despite injuries to Rosa and Brown, there is a glimmer of light through the haze with Wright, Parish, Lang and a returning Heeney all showing promise for the year ahead. Toby takes a two-week vacation from Venus but Hogan will return to ably fill his shoes.
Warriors 1213 def Lefties 706
With the author having a heady moment or two in the sun over the past couple of years, penning tales of happy times and unicorns farting rainbows, it was inevitable that the crash would come. Totally self-inflicted mind you, so spare the pity and pile on the ridicule.
This was an enlightening return to form for the Lefties as the magical 700 barrier was once again reached after a dismal effort last week. The Warriors put the bye to good use by giving most of their mid-fielders 50% gametime, with Gibson and Douglas chiming in off the bench for some blue moon hijinks. In a round of 140+ cameos, JJK joined the show with a tasty cherry atop a Whit-Sunday (oh dear, did I really just do that?).
Codpieces 1309 def Uglies 1129
To be perfectly honest, I’d almost forgotten that the Codpieces still existed. Admittedly, they hadn’t completely disappeared into the wilderness following their GF triumph a few years back, but they have taken navel-gazing to another level. On closer inspection, aside from Gaz, Gray, Hanley, Waite, Harbrow, Burgoyne, Garland, Henderson, Hodge, Puopolo and Riewoldt, the Knobs have a nice squad of kids. Expect them to make a push for a premiership in about ten years.
Bizarre how my reviews seem to venture onto useless tangents, it’s like I’ve got way too much time on my hands and very little of any substance to legitimately write about. I must be an ex-Fairfax worker.
Anyway, this match shaped as a pearler with the Mount on a nice streak while the see-sawing Knobs have been waiting on Gaz’s cobalt diet, detox, mega shake to turn up in the mail. Australia Post came through for once. The little Master pulled out one for the ages as he outscored the other ¾ of the midfield and covered Vardy in the ruck for a few spells as well. He needn’t have bothered, the Uglies fell flat as the ruck line vapourised and the Richmond B side choked on corvid feathers.
Dirigibles 1171 def by Incorrigibles 1237 (the gible fest)
As a rule, I generally avoid paying too much attention to what the Cows are up to. This largely stems from petty resentment I harbour deep down ever since chels refused to trade Nic Newman my way. However, this week I have made an exception, and have cast more than a fleeting glance at the scores over the weekend. Nothing to do with review research to uphold my journalistic integrity. No.
My alter ego, the Noahs, squared off in the side-salad ORFF Knockout comp against the Cows last week, so my interest was moderately vested.
To my surprise, the Cows have come to play this year (albeit starting the season a week late). The return of Fyfe, Crouch and Hibbo plus some sparkling form courtesy of Burton and McGovern, has the Cows “bridging” the gap on the other contenders. This was not all gloom and doom for the Blimps with their young forwards in Brown and Rats showing off their ceiling and their midfield starting to click into gear. A casual 142 from Sinclair was nothing to sneeze at either.
The calves from Middle-earth now find themselves strolling into a sweet draw as they face the Lilics, Nuffers and Goofies over the next three weeks. Quite likely seeing them nudging top spot come mid-season and lulling themselves into a false sense of sobriety.
Misfits 1327 def Devils 1301
I’m normally above blatant plagiarism, but dean has done a better job than I could ever in dissecting this match up so his review is reiterated below:
During 2017 the Cradle Mountain Devils goal is to average 1,300 points per game, despite just reaching this target with a score of 1,301 in Round 6 the Devils club record winning streak ends at five games, with the rapidly improving Marble Bar Misfits posting a score of 1,327 points to secure a thrilling 26 point victory. Despite the loss Cradle Mountain remain second on the ladder due to ranking second for total points scored behind the dominant undefeated Venus Bay Vultures.
The Devils registered five tons to the Misfits four however a more consistent performance from Marble Bar with only four sub 75 scores compared to seven for the Devils including three players that went into the game averaging in excess of 100 points – Grigg, Nankervis and most notably Zorko who in the first five Rounds had been one of the most consistent players in the ORFFA, playing all five games and having a highest score of 121 which was only 11% more than his lowest score of 109.
Cradle Mountain narrowly won all three of the four player lines, midfield by 19 points, defenders against MBM forwards by 40 points and forwards against MBM defenders by 15 points however Misfit ruckman Ryder defeating Devils counterpart Nankervis by 27 points and the Misfits smashing the Devils bench by 73 points was enough for coach @Len and his Misfits to get the upset victory and retain their position in the eight. Pendles was best afield with 149 points and Devils recruit Tom Lynch received 2 votes with 121 points. The Misfits patience with Will Hoskin-Elliot is being rewarded in 2017 and he led his club with a score of 125 from the bench, Rory Laird continued his impressive form with 122 and fellow defender Zachary Williams received the solitary Les W vote with a score of 120.
Amazingly the Misfits 26 point win over the Devils in Round 6 2017 is the third closest game (from a total of four games) between the two clubs from 2015 onwards with Cradle Mountain having a two point win in Round 13, 2015 - 1,297 points to 1,295 and the Misfits winning their 2016 Zac Dawson Cup semi final against CMD by five points. In this weekend's game Misfit Devon Smith scored 27 points more (one point greater than the winning margin) than the player he was traded for - Shaun Grigg whilst the trade also involved the Devils receiving pick 38 in the 2014 PSD draft which was used on defender Zak Jones who has cemented his position in the CMD line-up during 2017. Whilst the Marble Bar Misfits are the proud owners of the Smith-Grigg cup the mid-term battle between the improving Misfits and Devils is which club can win an ORRFA final first.
Cockies 1333 def Wombats 1028
A tale of two teams heading in polar opposite directions. The Cockies have had the core cattle to play chicken in the middle of the road but lacked depth to keep their head for the whole season. Depth has been added, and then some, so beware the Gariwerd Crackle. On the B side, the Wombat vinyl looks to have been used as coaster at too many parties and the track seems stuck just before the chorus. Under-par is a term bandied about far too often, so to avoid any semblance of political-correctness, I’ll run with…turd-worthy. There are probably other more apt terms, but the Lefties have now patented most of them as we work on fitting them into our new team anthem.
The one shining light in all this marsupial mess is the emergence of Clayton Oliver. If I was Lenny, I’d just focus on his highlight reels for the next four months and work on that cloning serum.
A fairly even team performance from the Cockies in this one with some timely form on show from Wingard and Crouch to push a 1300 score.