This weeks ORFFA round was a "COVID related fixture change hub quarantine round of confusion (and COVID breaches)" and with all three Tasmanian teams winning (I think that’s a first), it’s a clear sign that some of us like nasal swabs more than others. In other news, the Spelunkers are only a game out of the 8!
Nareewillock Nuffers 977 defeated by the Foul Bay Chickens 1446
A general malaise has settled over the training squad at Nareewillock. After having a 50% win/loss record a couple of weeks ago they petri dished up a 3 figure abomination on the weekend… which was not good timing given they were taking on the hormone dosed, cobalt loaden chooks, apparently Blue Eggs are the new Kale.
SPP (107) was a lone hand for the Nuffers, whilst the Chooks has 6 people ton up, and three over 140. The Nuffers valour in defeat probably best referenced by Brad Hill lining up against big Todd in the ruck. Chooks stay undefeated on top but apparently they aren’t very good #sonotshit
Venus Bay Vultures 1035 defeated by the Gariwerd Cockatoos 1094
Cockies move up to 5th after a small abomination in the change room toilets last week was found to be a false alarm caused by Touk Miller after drinking the left over hot dog water. It might prove to be the new miracle remedy as he came out and kicked everyones arse with a 142. So much for mediocrity. @Fitzy ’s guys coughed and spluttered to four figures, with Houston (109) and Yeo (105) holding their own, but a murder of @anthak ’s cockies going bonkers, however JPK 18 was a stain in the crotch of the scorers hazmat suit. Vultures still in the top 3, anyone who thinks they are trash are delusional.
NB: I know crows come in murders but allow me some writers liberty
Iron Knob Codpieces 1210 defeated by the Gundagai Grasshoppers 1416
A different plague at Iron Knob, this one of hopping insects destroying everything in sight. 8 tons meant that even Cripps could have a shit game. @jimbowan was munching on three donuts, and one must wonder if he had a full squad would he have taken the chocolates? It all matters for Jack (Darling) now, Iron Knob only one game off the bottom of the ladder. @snoz quietly going about his business in second place, seems the outbreak in NYC has hardened the princess up. Hoppers one back on the rail, and one to watch as they come into the Flemington straight at the 600.
Mount Beauty Uglies 1259 defeated by the Cradle Mountain Devils 1365
The Uglies went down valiantly to the Cradle Mountain Devils in the match of the round. @HeavyMen will still be wanting some cream for the nasty callouses he has on his right hand due to the recent fine form of the Uglies. I don’t think the ORFFA has ever had someone score 1 solitary point before. If my memory serves me correctly however I actually think we may have had a -2 once… historians consult your annals (thank god autocorrect didn’t kick in there). Hayden Young’s 1 point was a blemish on a decent score from the Uglies, although. 6 tons from the Devils was enough to see them home. Cradle Mountain turning the ship around after 3 straight losses.
Waikickamoocow Incorrigibles 1202 defeated by the Wagga Wagga Wombats 1370
Not a good week for @Graeme… with Chelski getting hammered by Sheffield United, and the local side going down to a bunch of marsupials. Just like the menu at the Bulls Hit, the scoring for the cows was either hot or cold. 4 tons nicely matched with 6 scores under 70. @Lenny120 ’s defence was the standout, with 3 of the 6 tons he racked up coming from that line.
Birdsville Battlers 1277 defeated the Marble Bar Misfits 1141
@JC rockets into the top eight with his 4th win on the run, with the pestilence that has gripped Marble Bar in the past few weeks settling in for the winter it seems. 7 tons for the Battlers to 3 for the Misfits telling the story. Four weeks ago you would have got massive odds on JC being above @Len on the ladder.
Charlie’s Opening Spelunkers 1166 defeating Lovely Banks Lilacs 1058
No honourable losses for the Lilacs this week… what started as a frog in the throat injury wise for @Jen has turned into a full on croup like bark, but no amount of gripe water will fix this, with Heeney now going down as well. The Spelunkers cause an upset, their coach being most upset out of everyone as they rocket up into mid table mediocrity. Some of the young kids (Bowes, Florent, SPS, Brayshaw) starting to show promise, if only Darcy could stay fit. Backline for the Lilacs performed admirably, but it wasn’t enough to stop the mine cart juggernaut.
Whitsunday Warriors 993 defeated by the Wineglass Bay Packers 1169
@Tracey ’s mob finally claim a scalp. With the same number of tons (3) on both sides, it was @TerryinBangkok ’s having 9 guys score under 70 contributing to the general stench around the Tiki Bar at the post match drinks. Quinton Narkle definitely didn’t sparkle, scoring only 5. Lukosius starting to show potential…. they are getting there Trace! Patton going down again won’t be welcome news.
Nowhere Else Wanders 1099 defeating the Larrikin Lagoon Lefties 893
Not much to write about in this one, and the author’s parma is about to come off the pass so he will keep it short. @DaveH ’s mob chalk up a win whilst @That KI Guy was busy disinfecting the Kangaroo Island public toilets. Only 1 ton on either side of the scoreboard shows that this game was like a 4 day old coke… flat, lacking any bubbles, but good for cleaning oil off driveways.