Proudly penned by graeme.
Round 7 – aka the Walesy Appreciation Round, you rock Chief
The FIXture Committee served up some fine match ups – in particular the under rated Whitsunday Warriors hosting the second placed Cradle Mountain Devils, and recent winners, the Nunawading Nuffers, against the so called easy beats, the Larrikin Lagoon Lefties. Tasty fare indeed, especially as the latter game could have been subtitled “the nascent” v “the subjugated” (did I mention you might need a dictionary to follow what follows.)
In the reviews that follow your scribe has affixed an * to the team he predicted to win. To put this into perspective as a multi bet the nine favourites in the afl this week were offering a payout of $12.34 for a $1 bet. I have it on good authority that for ORFFA members ChiefBet™ would have offered slightly better odds. The ** denotes what I thought would be the upset, if there were to be one, by the rapidly improving, and far better looking, Packers.
So what happened? In the physical games upsets abounded – CR’s grin was visible across the Tasman. Was it the same in our synthetic games?
Charlies Opening Spelunkers (1091) v Venus Bay Vultures* (1022)
a doddle, a walk in the park, a cruise, a …; insert your own apothegm here. Fizzy has developed a keen sense of satire as evidenced by this post: “Bit unlucky/silly from me, remembered I had Beams in the midfield even though he was out, but wasn't online at the time and figured I had O'Meara emergency anyway... now hearing that O'Meara is very likely to be a late out today, here's hoping a donut doesn't cost me a win.” Unfortunately, it was pair of donuts with Jobe also out. Have we seen the first weakness in the favourite for the title? Or was “the kid” subtly tanking for a better MSD slot?
That after Docherty (103), Yeo (125) but before – well not much . The undergrounders meanwhile broke out the picks and shovels, had an extended smoko before Bont (128), SPS (134), Zerrett (133) and BigBoy (111) made Fitzy’s post appear prescient. Had Logue and Duggan appeared for a shift at the coal face the margin would have been greater. Still 13 v 13 does seem like a fair fight.
Nunawading Nuffers* (1163) v Larrikin Lagoon Lefties (863)
Andy’s brats are still one win shy of the blues number of wins for the season. Who will have more victories when the ORFFA season concludes? That was one of the philosophical puzzles jelly guy had time to ponder during a doleful away match. Granted his mind might have been elsewhere (where the Cows should have been in fact). For the old dark nuffers Simpson (99), Frost (104), Dixon (135), Ebert (112) Dixon (135) lead a training ground type procession over the tattered remnants of the back to back champions. “Bar” revenue in the western part of the CBD apparently reached record levels as the Nunawading faithful (well Andy anyway) continued to live out their fantasies. For the triple L shower Ross (111) and Taberner (111) both played well, but apparently handed in transfer requests as they left the field. First pick in MSD (and next year’s PSD) will be insufficient to resurrect the corpse from the muddy reaches of the ‘goon. NB: Sydney, Norf and Hawthorn all managed wins this week after their rebuilds / early season problems.
BTW, the Charlie Dixon looks quite respectable compared to the chief nuffer after a few days of painting and imbibing.
Gundagai Grasshoppers* (1220) v Birdsville Battlers (1217)
The ‘hoppers gave the battlers the bird as the previously perennial cellar dwellers gave it their best shot with Adams (114), Cripps (101) and Billings () that established the foundation. The Neale (147) and Rockliff (148) show then combined for a one, two knockout punch. Disdain of the ‘hoppers was the ruling sentiment in the aviary. The beautifully plumaged group of Acres (106), Hunter (126) Witts (115) [clearly still smarting from his summary sacking by sNoZ] and Blakely (108) paraded their wares and set about flapping in an attempt to fly to freedom / victory. But to no avail. A vibrating (some say akin to the sound of a bow on a violin) win for the COC’s ‘hoppers. Deserved? Who knows? The three point difference was within the statistical margin for error suggesting that on another weekend the result could be reversed. While we revere the top scorers the value of every point is underscored in a close match.
But both sides sounded a warning, and the combo of chirping and squawking was particularly unappealing, that with the right moves in the next few weeks they could be serious contenders.
Wineglass Bay Packers (954) v Mount Beauty Uglies** (1063)
Things got ugly in this “slugfest” as Tracey’s potential Packers picked a peck of pickled peppers and handed them to the away team along with a note suggesting the uglies’ pants would be pulled down by Sunday afternoon. But it was not to be. For the home side Tom Lynch (106) performed well again – but sadly it was a soliloquy rather than a wider conversation. The zero in the midfield was especially costly as it was accompanied by the bursting of the Sloane and Matera bubbles. Damn. Another tote ticket bit the dust. At least the Bay is full of water. For the mountain men, Cotchin (108), Priddis (99) and Viney (123) were impressive. Nice to see two Riolis afield in the forward line. Every ones second favourite kiwi (Dusty) was rather limp by his standards. Missing his dad perhaps? In an aching and unnecessary metaphor the uglies peaked for the four points – but where was the beauty in this performance I hear you ask? Absent is the answer.
TBH, it was a stretch describing this mid table squabble as a “slugfest” – coulda been but in reality it wasn’t.
Lovely Banks Lilacs (1103) v Waikikamoocow Incorrigibles* (1189)
The Cows’ midfield returned to a semblance of form and although the feisty Lilacs tried to resist, the Banks could have opened had your faithful scribe not put the E on Wood (117) and Hall (120). [I guess many of you have a tale of woe, the way to get to tell it is to volunteer to write the review; just pm Jelly Guy and join in the fun.]
Jen banked great points from some unexpected sources in Wellingham (97) and Westhoff (92); while Heeney (116) was a blond haired buzz saw. But that was where the fight finished. Fortuitously for the Cows, late in the day Burto (112) and Titch (108) rather saved the Cows’ bacon. [Do cows have bacon?] Earlier Sauce (118) demonstrated the ruck man’s art beautifully while Menegola (102) and DanHan (118) mooed very nicely. In the end the score did not reflect the amount of angst and discomfort suffered in the cows’ camp.
A few tweaks and lilacs will bloom again on the lovely banks of ORFFAdom.
Whitsunday Warriors (1177) v Cradle Mountain Devils* (1225)
I was tempted to tip TiB’s emerging mob but sanity prevailed for once. While the islanders regained their enigmatic talisman, sadly Travis delivered an unsatisfying 69 points which was rather reminiscent of the snacks served up in the Tiki Bar. Similarly, Quadzilla’s 70 was like luke warm larger in the tropics. However, JJ (106) and Marchbank (108) did provide some starch. Rumours that the worriers have been flown north to their owners adopted home town are apparently partially correct. A fly over is now planned. For CMD the other Tom Lynch (50) did not perform anywhere near as well as his namesake. But, Zac Jones (143), Hurley (115), Heppell (103), Grigg (192) and the extremely well remunerated Tom Boyd (105) were strong contributors in a winning team. The lack of younger players (Hopper an honourable exception) suggests the cradle part of the team name should be reported under the trade practices sections of consumer law.
I rather feel CMD might be pleased with winning when not at peak. Their outlook is excellent and the path to glory for any pretender / contender will include scaling this impressive peak.
Foul Bay Chickens* (1372) v Wagga Wagga Wombats (1255)
The whole of the chooks’ team pecked away at the ruckless wombats. It really was death by a thousand beak scratches with Selwood (95), Vince (98), Dalhaus (101), Johnson (109), Danger (110), Goldy (111) providing a level of consistent scoring that no other team can currently match. Of course some chooks can weigh in with the occasional golden egg but day in day out the whole bloody team attacks you. And the noise. For the wounded wombats Buddy (160) was magnificent throwing his weight round like a nouveau millionaire on speed. D Swallow (96), Shiel (96), Gibbs (99), Houli (103) and Thompson (123) were excellent but let down by their inconsistent colleagues. Typical of this malaise was ClayTON Oliver (91) who almost lived up to his hype, but not quite. There was a small (2 point) act of kindness by CR in putting an E on the Roughy; good to know even the best can get it wrong (but not too often) and that made a few smile.
Iron Knob Codpieces* (1368) v Gariwerd Cockatoos (1116)
My first thought was that weighed down by the sheer mass of 15 iron protective thingys the cocky might not able to take flight. And right on cue the codpieces buzzed into action as wave upon wave of dark (heavy) metal descended on the home pitch. In a workplace scam Waite (190) put in a claim for two weeks’ wages. Then Macrae (117), Roberton (96), Harbrow (100) bustled about industriously. Initially the mid cockys did not bend; Steven (120) inspired a fight that M Crouch (97) and Jones (104) carried on. However, when Birchall (6) was crocked by a flying codpiece and an oop ruck was presented, the gallant cockys were silenced. For the home team young Burgoyne (106) applied the coup de grace.
If truth be told, and it seldom is in ORFFA reviews, Jimbo’s biggest smile may have come from winning a ruck battle.
Darraweit Guim Dirrigibles (1322) v Marble Bar Misfits* (1396)
The Misfits cruelly and crudely rent the delicate fabric of inflatables asunder. That was what I had thought I would be writing. But, no; rather than a replay of the Hindenburg disaster (1937, the year not the score, please pay attention, I know it is late in the review, but … really?) we saw the rebirth of the heavier than air mode of transport. Early working drawings of airships had banks of oars rowing the craft through the air. And that is just what the returning May (112) and Coniglio (101) accompanied by Lyons (104), Tyson (99), Son Son (119) and Brad Hill (118) did in splendid fashion. However, the 2017 version of the Misfits is made of sterner stuff than its predecessors. , In a fine display of precision marbles they responded, inevitably led by Len’s love child JK (108). Others apparently performed – Laird (100), Lloyd 106, Murphy (118), Ward (103), devotee Smith (101) and Daniher (114). But their performances mostly went unseen as the Commish’s fawned over Kelly. His devotion to all things artificial was even more poignant when photographed in palpable relief after hearing that the sad injury to Kennedy was to Adam rather than his precious Bam Bam. Ahhh.
So another week in ORFFAland draws to a close. Those who need a table or a draw for next week can consult TSLeagues.