ORFFA Round 9 review

Discussion in 'ORFFA' started by churchboy, May 18, 2022.

  1. churchboy

    churchboy Member

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    Rioli racked up 7 points, Steele got injured and some people made Gawn their captain even after knowing he had knock to the knee, because they pressed that "optimise" button thing to see what it does and then didn't realise it made Gawn captain. I lived all 3 of those scenarios. Ah the memories of round 9.

    Read on to see how your team faired and if you're not part of the ORFFRA league I question your life choices that lead you here;

    Gundagai Grasshoppers (1405) v Iron Knob (899)

    Friday night blockbuster essentially went bust. Take it from me, Iron Knob coach has no idea what he’s doing, what day it is or what his name is. Spends too much time clicking on “Breakfast: 15 Foods You Should Never Eat” and “Sandra Bullocks’ Son Used to Be Adorable but Today He Looks …” clickbait than actually doing some legitimate research and fixing his team. With 6 Grasshoppers reaching a well deserved ton, picking a best on ground was difficult, but Mills (167) smashing it in the midfield takes the BOG prize. Iron Knobs couldn’t talk at the press conference because got lost on his way to the press conference room. This guys is a d@!k. Do better Iron knob, do better.


    Larrikin Lagoon Lefties (1097) v Waikikamoocows Incorrigibles (1268)

    Long bloody name, huge bloody score. At least that’s how the saying goes and Incorrigibles lived up the hype, eclipsing Lefties by almost 200 points. Crouch, Dunkley, Bailey, McGovern and Burton all made tons, with notable performances by Finlayson and Prestia. Lefties also had some players do some things. But everyone look at Waikikamoocows!!!! They smashed em!!! Lefties coach was left being disappointed about having left so many points on the field. Weird comment to make but there you go. BOG goes to Crouch (140).


    Dung Beetles (1105) v Wombats (1257)

    In the same way the previous two games weren’t, this was a titanic battle. Dung Beetles hit the lead early on Friday night with Hoskin-Elliot kicking things off, but throughout the weekend the points started falling the other way, in the dying Sunday minutes, Wombats pulled away with Barrass, Cripps and Langdon doing just enough to run over Steven May’s 87. It was like I was watching the whole thing minute by minute, but alas, this synopsis is just a writers creativity and a lot of assumptions. Dung Beetles coach notably said it was like pushing a ball of sh*t uphill with this team. BOG goes to Rozee (116)


    Devils (1282) v Chickens (1301)

    WOW!!!! Closest game of the round, aka “Battle of the devilled chicken”. Great performance by both teams, leaving the fans feeling that warm sense of satisfaction on the way home from the game. Well chicken fans felt that, devil fans no so much, because they lost. But considering their very devil nature aren’t they always a bit kinda grumpy anyways? Chickens fielded Higgins who scored 10, but who cares, they won. Chickens Libba’s performance takes the BOG with 128, but chickens also had another 4 hit the ton – including old man Selwood! (I thought this guy had retired and was living a peaceful life out at a retirement village somewhere? No?). When questioned on the battle of devilled chicken, Devils coach remarked it was all a bit too chilli and there’ll likely be some running in the team before things are right again.


    Misfits (1111) v Lilacs (1180)

    Lilacs might be a pretty flower (or colour? My wife tells me its also a colour?) name, but they held tough to ensure a 69 point victory over the misfits who just didn’t seem to belong out there. Even after putting Rioli on the field to score a super bad 7 (nope, not a typo, played a whole game for 7 points without getting injured), Lilacs Karl Amon takes the BOG in this one with 117. Nice work Amon. Misfits coach didn’t turn up to the press conference, claimed he felt out of place.



    Battlers (1164) v Cockatoos (1321)

    Named after Josh Battle, Battlers put up a magnificent performance. Bailey Smith BOG with 144, Kennedy 110, Witherden 104 and Battle who always wants to be mentioned whenever the synopsis is done on his team scored 48. At every turn Battlers skill was brilliant, their dash daring, the resilience resolute and then they lost. Cockatoos just really didn’t give a stuff about all that, as the aim of the game is to score more points, so they scored more points and won. Wish the bombers would also take that tactic into their game style. Post game press conference Battlers coach noted the struggle is real and asked if anyone could spare some change.


    Packers (1302) v Nuffers (1157)

    The first home team win of the round! (the only home game win this writer cares to acknowledge anyway) Packers smashing the Nuffers by a lazy 150… ish…. can’t be bothered doing the maths. Hewett and Lynch at either end of the ground for the Packers were hero’s scoring 121 and 125 respectively, making Nuffers look pretty stupid. Surprise packet Errol Gulden pumped out a 130 for the Nuffers however, making him the BOG for the game. Nuffers coach commented that the real hero was football. No one knows what this means.


    Warriors (1003) v Vultures (1429)

    And the biggest score of the round goes to …… drum roll …. just imagine the drum roll in your head please….. VULTURES!!!! Scoring a whopping 1429 and blowing the warriors away by over 400 points!!!! Docherty, Dale, Crisp, Lyons, Parker, Buddy and Howe all over 100 with Omera, Broad and Adams just falling short. BOG was with the Warriors in Oliver Wines’s’s’s 155, Witts (now the best ruck in the comp) scored 113, but most of the other warrior players were rubbish. Warriors coach felt the players location of Whitsunday might be just too damn perfect to bring out the agro in them. Until next time.


    Uglies (1417) v Spelunkers (1073)

    Ugly name, hot score. 1417 saw Uglies smash the Spelunkers by… see above synopsis. It was basically the same game. Uglies also had 6 players over 100 and Spelunkers also had 2 players over 100, so substitute some names and that’s basically it. BOG was Sam Walsh (149). Spelunkers coach just mumbled something about it being an ugly game.


    Stayed tuned next week to find out if the Blues really are that good (geez I hope not), Bombers are really that bad (geez I hope not) and if Johnny Depp will win his public trial against Amber Heard.

    Good luck all!
     
    Last edited: May 18, 2022
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  2. anthak

    anthak Moderator Staff Member

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    The battle of the devilled chicken!!!

    Very funny write up, churchboy lol
    loved it
     
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  3. That KI Guy

    That KI Guy Moderator Staff Member

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    Gold! Absolute gold my friend.
    Love ya work.
     
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  4. graeme

    graeme Well-Known Member

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    I think we have a budding Hemingway in @churchboy - very enjoyable, apart from frequently spitting coffee everywhere when succumbing to laughter.
     
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  5. JC

    JC Well-Known Member

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    Outstanding @churchboy ! Always great to get a fresh perspective on a review.
     
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  6. Len

    Len Cockburn Knightrider Staff Member

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    Great work mate :)
     
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  7. snoz

    snoz Well-Known Member

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    @churchboy you’ve done yourself proud on your maiden write up. Thank you ! Funny as fuck !!
     
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  8. Bandit

    Bandit Moderator Staff Member

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  9. chris88

    chris88 1000 Monkeys at 1000 Typewriters Staff Member

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