Courtesy of @Bandit
Ahhhh the first week of ORFFA finals, and the lesser known, but just as highly coveted, Zac ‘Get Stuffed’ Dawson Cup. After Andy’s stunning announcement of Krispy Kreme being the Nuffers main sponsor for the 2018 season, half of the Association decided to have a donut fest, forcing some of the elite of the previous years to draw curtains on their season. Elsewhere some of the more fancied prospects took care of business, and the guys and girls in the bottom half of the ladder had to decide if they front up or go on the end of season trip whilst the powder is still good up at Mt. Hotham.
In the big dance, the home sides all emerged victorious:
Waikikamoocow Incorrigibles 1365 vs Iron Knob Codpieces 1188
These two teams were given every chance according to the ORFFA’s official bookmaker ChiefBet at the start of the year, but this match was obly ever going to fall one way. @jimbowan was without Gazza, and Koby Stevens (17) was seeing triple after tripping over a misplaced codpiece in the warm up, and taking a heavy knock. Ironically, Jim’s Achilles heel in the ruck was a highlight this week, with Vardy finally getting on the team bus to post a respectable 105. @graeme team fared much better than his beloved Chelsea… with a five tons and five 90+ scores ensuring the lads from Iron Knob were put to the sword. The three Jack’s in the Knob’s forward line were disappointing.
Venus Bay Vultures 1534 vs Gariwerd Cockatoos 1360
As @Fitzy sat back in the Parc Le Grange, taking in the wonderful vista of Mont Blanc, his Vultures were putting the smack down on @anthak ’s cockies. With more hits than Geneva’s own DJ Bobo, the crew of Pittard (111), Beams (138), Parker (126), Kreuzer (133) and Martin (129) were impressive, but it was left to Buddy (169) to bust out the real dance moves and finish off Ant’s season with authority. The only dead weight was Talia (51), who decided that he would prefer to FaceTime Fitzy hoping to get a glimpse of the snow bunnies on Chamonix. The Cockatoo’s had seven players top the ton, one more than Venus Bay, but Greenwood (30) pinch hitting in the ruck, and Wallis (37) didn’t live up to their potential and the lads from Gariwerd now look to the off season for some list tweaking.
Marble Bar Misfits 1398 vs Cradle Mountain Devils 1216
A tantalising line up of two of this year’s big improvers saw my Tasmanian rivals head up to Northern WA for a winner takes all match against the better fitting than last year Misfits. Both teams brought a fair bit of firepower to the table, but Cradle Mountain’s coach @dmandrews was disappointed to see his side post their equal lowest score of the season. It may have been the incredibly long travel time as the team coach broke down just outside Paraburdoo, and having to wait 90 mins for the local mechanic to arrive meant the pregame warm up routine was reduced to a quick kick to kick with the locals and a couple of dodgy pies from the CWA ladies doing the catering. Big improver Toby Nankervis faded as the season drew on and could only post a 61, the same score as Tim Membrey who only started to find the footy in the second half of the match. @Len 's midfield came to play, and play they did with Kelly, Murphy, Whitfield, Ryder and Longer all hitting triple figures. Even Zach Williams got in on the show from the back line with 119. For the Devils, no Pendles made it tough, and Heppell was well held to 59… all is not lost however, and the club is rumoured to be performing a full review their season at Peppers Lodge when they get back, and a press release will follow.
Gundagai Grasshoppers 1197 vs Foul Bay Chickens 1070
$3 favourites at the start of the year vs the perennial whipping boys… and the Hoppers decided they would stuff the chooks before cooking them on the open charcoals. I said the chooks were done weeks ago, but I actually didn’t expect it to come true. @ChiefRussell will now have to decide if he has the cattle to open the window again, or if he finally goes hard with the hatchet. Dahlhaus got a kick to the head, Heater was shit again and Ziebell didn’t even turn up in what may be construed as a lack of faith in the current coach. Betts, Libba, Kelly, Vince etc all had a stain in the trousers. Whilst the Gundagai boys live to fight another day, they posted the second lowest score of the 8 finalists, and the match committee meeting this week will be interesting. @snoz ’s two Jack’s (Martin and Billings) came to play, even if Billings could only see out of one eye after getting belted by the Chief as he ran out for the second half, and Adams and Rockliff went well in the guts, but Mason Cox was awful.
In the Zac Dawson Cup, some teams still have petrol in the tank, whilst others are siphoning it out from broken down cars on the side of the road.
Mount Beauty Uglies 1007 vs Charlies Opening Spelunkers 1255
Big fall from grace for @bama ’s mob from the start of the year. Crueled by injuries, there were three doughnuts in the forward line until Rioli stepped up to try and fill in the void. For the Spelunkers the signs of the future midfield were strong, with The Bont, SHill, and SPS covering off for the loss of Zerrett. Liam Duggan (58) was down and rumours of a trade to Larrikin Lagoon are clearly playing on the kids mind. Mark LeCras missed the flight, and it’s fair to say he has put on the Spelunkers jumper for the last time, but Savage and Thurlow are doing whatever they can to try to get another contract for next year. Mount Beauty have the engine room, but need to address the forward line if they are to return to finals action next year.
Whitsunday Warriors 1392 vs Darraweit Guim Dirigibles 1170
@TerryinBangkok is coming home with a wet sail, and is sending a message to the rest of the ORFFA coaches that next year may be the time the Warriors get themselves to the finals series. We will wait to see if he actually gets a full dance card or is left on the sidelines like a pimply 13 year old trying to pluck up the courage to ask a girl out to a blue light disco. The General (105) is starting to play like a number one draft pick, and James Harmes (101) pulled one out of the bag as well. Four other centurions meant the Tiki bar was cranking into the wee hours of the morning, as @chris88 picked up his deflated players (hee hee, see what I did there) and piled them into the bus for the airport. What was looming as a promising season is a bust, With McDonald-Tipungwuti (36) and BHill (34) having stinkers. Darraweit Guim may have re-signed the coach for next year, but he is going to have to work some magic over the trade period to get this team into the 8 in 2018.
Wineglass Bay Packers 1044 vs Lovely Banks Lilacs 1090
The ladies went toe to toe but it was the roast chicken sandwiches accompanied by a wonderful chardonnay from the Freycinet vineyards that stole the show in this clash. On the field @Tracey ’s guys were lucky to push @Jen ’s Lilacs as close as they did, with only one ton coming from Scully (103). Langdon (103), Rampe (126) Hartung (101) and Heeney (130) were in great touch for the visitors but Caddy did a hammy and Shai Bolton was very shy indeed and wouldn’t even come out of the changerooms. Packers going down by 46 as both these sides continue to improve, and it will be interesting to see what trade movements occur over the summer.
Birdsville Battlers 969 vs Wagga Wagga Wombats 1363
Where have these wombats been all year? Plowman, Hardwick and Picken were all well held, but it was too much for the Battlers as they only started with 13 players on the field,including no ruck. @Lenny120 got the team to start to fire on all cylinders, with Oliver, Shiel, Swallow, Tippett, Jenkins, Sicily and old man Bob Murphy all going large. Defence will be a concern this week for the Wombats, and @JC has a pile of work to do in the off season.
Nunawading Nuffers 576 vs Larrikin Lagoon Lefties 767
It only took 18 rounds but last years premier has finally notched a win… the irony being that as @That KI Guy has the lowest score out of the winners in the Zac Dawson Cup, he is actually eliminated and therefore is technically still a loser. @melbandy ’s donut fest continued to roll on, with Frost, Wood, Wells, Grey and Powell-Pepper all no shows and only the Lazarus like Charlie Dixon doing anything. There were three donuts for the Lagoon as well, but when you post 767 and get a win it’s a sign that neither of these teams are in very good shape.
Next week we see some cracking games, with Waikikamoocow taking on the Grasshoppers, and Venus Bay going toe to toe with Marble Bar. When asked the reasons why he decided to go to Switzerland during the finals campaign, Fitzy muttered “There are many reasons for me to be in Switzerland, but the flag is one of them, it is a huge plus”
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