It happens every year. The great Football Gods descend from their fluffy, ivory towers to rain screaming terror down upon us little people of the ORFFL The Polish call itRze?Dooko?a. To us engrish speakers in the ORFFL, it's simply known as Carnage Round. The round where an injured knee, shoulder or misc., can leave you bereft of hope and your flag dreams in tatters. Join us over the break as we dissect the results of this weekend. Probably could've used a different verb there.
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TARWIN LOWER PIGS1335 DefPURNULULU BUNGLE RANGERS1076
The Tarwin Lower Pigs notched their first win of the season in stylez, marauding their way to a 259 point victory over the Bungle Rangers. I'll be honest, it didn't look good after Dependles most un-Dependlebury score of 62 on Friday night. Yet Kel rallied his troops together, and McIntosh (117), Carrots (123), NRoo (116), Bastinac (118) and Edwards (127) all responded with impressive performances. In point of fact, all 6 of the players listed above are averaging over 100 for the Pigs. Which is fairly rad.
The PBR on the other hand have some problems. After hitting the highest score in the ORFFL in R1, it's been all downhill at a steep incline. Tino has already expressed that he's looking to deal midseason for a FWD or two; tired of playing blokes OOP while carrying an injured Frenchman. The other issue contributing to these heavy losses is the sheer inexperience in the middle and up forward, it's boys against men out there. That being said, wood (avg. 123) and Ryder (avg. 130) are on target for big years.
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WOY WOY WIZARDS1088 Def byPOOWONG POTOROOS1129
I wanted to leave the review of this match at that, but felt it would be a disservice to what was a pretty good contest, Poowong getting up by 41 down at Woy Woy. Seriously though, the little bald man is averaging 155. 155!
Him aside, I suppose Mzungu (108, avg 102) did alright for the Potoroos, but I magine the rest of the team just grabbed the deck chairs and watched Jnr put on a show. Which is fair enough.
Over at Woy Woy, they need to get their Time Machine fixed, and fast (although if you think about they can take as much time as they want, as long as they fix it properly, but I digress). Chappy (57), Jolly (44), Power (58) and Doughty (48) playing like men who are past their prime and staring at GAWN. With Black, aged 33, injured, Lake looking like getting a holiday, and Brad Green already up at Buller, it could be tough run for the Wizards in the immediate future. I suppose.
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MERTON MEERKATS1361 DefQUEENSTOWN QUOLLS 1250
The boys from Merton are proving all the doubters wrong, and I am absolutely loving it! The Meerkats posted their second win of the season, defeating Queenstown by 111. Richmond went silly all over Melbourne, and consequently the Meerkats went silly all over the Quolls, with huge performances from Grig (147, avg 110), Tuck (152, avg. 105), Scooter (145, avg. 135) and Cotchin (126, avg. 118), amongst others.
The Quolls were unlucky again not to pinch the chocolates, hitting their highest score of the season to date with 1250. Like the PBR, they desperately need forwards in the mid-season draft, having yet to field a complete FWD line this year, while Brown Dog's comeback score of 9 was anticlimactic to say the least. Jobe is keeping on though, scoring a hefty 132 (avg. 129), while throwing up blue. I remember doing that once. I now no longer frequent The Croft Institute.
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BONNIE DOON BANDITS1129 Def byJIMCUMBILLY JACKRABBITS1143
An entertaining match, even though I wasn't really paying attention for most of it. But gee, when I look at the scores just down, the Jackrabbits victory by 14 points over Bonnie Doon at home was a nail-biter. I honestly don't know how the Bandits get away with playing Coniglio in the back line week after week whilst staying in touch with his opponent each week. But that what they continue to do. Mitchell (avg. 121), Tippett (avg. 120), Harvey (avg. 114) and Masten (avg. 113) lighting it up Early Doors.
On the other side of Ledger, Jimcumbilly got the win, but at what cost? Leuenberger going down with a calf/achilles will hurt (and while we're on the subject, BDB gained Drummond but lost Reid this weekend). NDS has started strong (117, avg. 122) and Howe (121) had one out of the box (I rate the Tasmanian though, just not most of his teammates).
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WARBURTON WANDERERS1342 DefHUMPTY DOO HAMMERHEADS1113
Although Warbuton Kruezed to a comfortable 219 point victory, the story out of this match was with the other team, Humpty Doo losing Luke Ball to a season ending ACL injury. Hope he gets well soon, have a lot of time for Luke. To compound things for the Hammerheads, Special K was seen in a familiar hobbling gate in today's match. Small consolation that Goodes (avg. 107), Judd (avg. 126) and Wells (avg. 109) have had fine starts to the season. and Goo (avg. 91) a handy pick up during the trade period.
They continue to go on their merry way unscathed over in Warburton, 6 players (Murphy, Kruezer, Lewis, Hartlett, MJ and THE CHAD) averaging over 100 in the blue and white. Murphy (130, avg. 132) a force in an otherwise fairly even line-up. And that's no criticism to either.
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SARAH ISLANDS SAVAGES1379 DefPOPANYINING PYRITE1281
Hornsy's Jar claims a hat-trick of victims, the Sarah Island coasting to a 98 point win over Popanyinning. 7 players (BJ, NicNat, Robbo, JPK, Chaplin, Waite and the Subiaco Specialist&trade tonned up for the Savages, with 5 players (BJ, NicNat, JPK, Waite and theSubiaco Specialist&trade averaging over 100 in service to Sarah Island this year. Blah, blah, blah, blah.
I thought the Pyrite put in a spirit effort, Boyd (133, avg. 115), Shuey (141, avg. 121), Swallow (98, avg. 105) and Hayes (124, avg. 110) starting the year in sparkling form. I'd say more but it'll just come across as condescending and smug, so I'll leave this one alone.
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COULTA COULDABEENS1095 Def byMILIKAPATI SNAKES1339
I had high hopes that this would be a close encounter, but Milikapati ended up doing the business to the tune of 244 points. 5 players (Lids, Duffman, Gaff, Jetta and Spiderman) tonned up for the victors and saw the Snakes get into the positive side of the win/loss count at 2-1. The key to it all, a DEF of Lids, Birch, Duffman and Clarke that scored407 points between them.
Coulta on the other hand suffered from a raft of poor scores from Zaha, Laidler, AJ, McCarthy, Burgoyne and the dud Josh Kennedy. (Nah, I'm only kidding, he's alright). Scotland got back on the winners table with a handy 127, and Ebert continues to impress as a 13th round pick, averaging 112.
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MOUNT BUGGERY DISAPPOINTMENTS1261 DefGLENROWAN GUNSLINGERS1204
Go Chief! Lost the Tankard Cup, but won the match against Doobs' Glenrowan by 57 points. 6 players (RockLobster, Roughy, Suckling, Stanton, Sidebum, Ward, and Conca) cracked triple figures in an undisappointing display, although the coach must be worried about the form of his first round pick, Goldy averaging a measly 75 playing second fiddle to Tosh.
For the Gunslingers it goes from bad to slightly better, cracking 1200 for the first time this year but still going away empty handed. Glenrowan also had 6 players (Mummy, Abrtel, Hurn, Hannebery, Ziebell and Armitage) crack the ton, but will be ruing selecting a non-playing Iles with no emergency when he could've had Cale Morton on the field. On second thoughts, he only scored 49; better off without him.
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TORRUMBARRY THUNDA1214 VSMALLACOOTA MAGICIANS1240
Epic tussle this one, only 26 points separating them in The Kash Man's favour. Barlow (108), Bachar 'l33t' Houli (111) and Crameri (130) securing nice scores. Yet despite the team being 3-0, their coach has thrown in the towel over Fyfe's shoulder injury and Dempsey's hammy; says he's planning on diving deeper than a bearded film director. The bright side, if Kash wants to look at it, is more points for Barlow. Pretty dark at the bottom of the ocean but.
Over at Torrumbarry Bernie (35) burnt his coach; fairly certain that's not the first time he's done that fantasy or otherwise. Still, one of my favourite players in Greg (110) returned to form, and despite slipping to 1-2 in the win/loss column, SKT can take pride in the fact that he almost has Draft Smokey of the Year sown up after just 3 rounds.
DEMPSTERED (125, pick 26).
Oh and hey:
CHECK OUT LADDER, MICHAEL!
<table width='359' cellspacing='0' cellpadding='0' border='0]
<col width='229[/img] <col width='65' span='2[/img]</colgroup>
<td style='width: 229px; height: 18px;]SARAH ISLANDS SAVAGES
<td style='width: 65px;]3-0
<td style='width: 65px;]4101
<td style='height: 18px;]MALLACOOTA MAGICIANS
<td style='height: 18px;]WARBURTON WANDERERS
<td style='height: 18px;]POOWONG POTOROOS
<td style='height: 18px;]MILIKAPATI SNAKES
<td style='height: 18px;]JIMCUMBILLY JACKRABBITS
<td style='height: 18px;]COULTA COULDABEENS
<td style='height: 18px;]MERTON MEERKATS
<td style='height: 18px;]TARWIN LOWER PIGS
<td style='height: 19px;]WOY WOY WIZARDS
<td style='height: 19px;]POPANYINNING PYRITE
<td style='height: 18px;]PURNULULU BUNGLE RANGERS
<td style='height: 18px;]TORRUMBARRY THUNDA
<td style='height: 18px;]BONNIE DOON BANDITS
<td style='height: 18px;]MOUNT BUGGERY DISAPPOINTMENTS
<td style='height: 18px;]QUEENSTOWN QUOLLS
<td style='height: 18px;]HUMPTY DOO HAMMERHEADS
<td style='height: 18px;]GLENROWAN GUNSLINGERS